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Death of this Patriarch

B

bmg

New Member
I drive a car, so I have accident insurance.

I own a house, so I have fire, flood, and earthquake insurance.

I have kids, so I have a trust fund set aside to pay for their college education.

I have a family, so I have life insurance. But this only takes care of my family’s physical needs. But what of their spiritual needs? Who will be there to help guide my daughter in finding a spirit filled husband? Who will see to the continual spiritual education of my son? (As Paul did for Timothy) Who will be there to pray for and help my wife of 20 years cope with this sudden change in her life? Who in deed?

Jesus gave us an example; in John 19: 26-27. While yet still alive and hanging on the cross, Jesus assigns the responsibility of his mothers care to the Apostle John. This assumes that Joseph had died and that the eldest son (Jesus) would have taken responsibility for his mother. Scripture tells us that Jesus had other brothers (and sisters) Matt 12: 46-47. But He didn’t assume that his next eldest brother “James” would undertake that responsibility. Rather Jesus, assigned the job to someone he trusted.

How much more should we, the brother’s associated with “Biblical Families”, be willing to assume the responsibly of each others families. Since my revelation to the possibility of have more than one wife, it occurs to me that my brothers here should be willing (if the Lord allows) to accept the responsibility of taking my wife to be their wife, in the event of my death. To that end; I have asked Ray (RRP) to give me his word that he would take up that mantel of leadership for/over my wife. Of course all this assumes she is willing to submit to my desires in this area. Karen, my bride of 20 years, is under no obligation to either use the money I have set aside in my life insurance policy, nor under any rules to be Rays’ second wife. This is why I have asked to Ray and Deanne to consider it. I do not want an unbelieving world to take advantage of my wife, so I give her into the hands of a brother I do trust.

If we are to be true to scripture, I believe this subject should be explored more.

As always,
YBIC,

BigMike
 
Excellent and thoughtful topic, Mike. I don't believe in 9000+ posts this has been covered once (unless I missed it). And it is something I have given some thought to myself, though I've yet to take it up with another brother in the way you have. OK, truth be told, I'm hoping I've done my wives a favor in this regard by having made so many friends through retreats and having families come visit in our home, and see what quality people - and good cooks! - they are. Hopefully, they'd soon have multiple high-quality offers to consider! :-) I say it jokingly, but also in truth.

I think it's a good and proper thing to consider, and talk to your spouse(s) about. And then to a trusted friend, if you are on the same page regarding it. Like you say, it's not something to be written in stone, because the future will be their's to consider and pray about, after we are gone. But even someone lined up to offer guidance and prayer and advice (a "light" and temporary form of headship?) in a transition period could be very helpful, and possibly set the stage for something more permanent. Probably best to keep any actual discussions with other men about it fairly private also - not something outsiders are likely to understand very well.

Hopefully we are building some relationships here at BF that could support this level of trust. But I don't think that comes without a fair amount of "face time" also.
 
In light of the disintegration of traditional familial lines of headship in this world, and in particular western culture, I think that what you have considered is both thoughtful and forward thinking. Who is my brother? Is it merely blood? No, but it is of those of like minds and hearts, sharing our burdens.

Blessings,

Doc
 
Thank you all for your insight.

It occurs to me as I read the last couple of posts that tragedy, and the resulting sense of loss which is just as painful in many cases as death, can strike in other ways as well, since the Adversary continues to roam the earth, seeking to kill and destroy.

My own wife B, having abandoned our Covenant just as she herself was abandoned while still a child, has already "borne false witness" against me. The prayers and support of those here on Biblical Families has been invaluable as we struggle to deal with the attacks of the Adversary. They are, and will continue to be, greatly coveted and appreciated.

I have copied some of the above commentary into a new thread on the BF "private men's forum" as well (NOTE: this link will only work if you are a male who has been pre-registered for access):

viewtopic.php?f=38&t=960&p=9462#p9462
 
Dear Mark,
It seems that several of us in the BF family have been attacked by the enemy lately. This morning I was sharing a verse with Doc that was personally encouraging to me. It was Exodus 19:4 "Ye have seen what I did unto the Egyptians, and how I bare you on eagles' wings, and brought you unto myself." Doc was telling me how eagles train their young to fly...They push it out of the nest and then swoop down under it as it is falling and carry it back up to the nest. Doc was reminding me that this is what God does for us. Through the difficult circumstances that God allows in our lives, He prepares "eagles wings" to bring us up to Himself...where we are safe. We both thought that this was such a beautiful picture.
Please know, Mark, that I am praying for you and all of our brothers and sisters here at BF. I know that because this ministry is reaching others with the truth of the Word and because we are all spiritually encouraged and affirmed by being involved here, that the enemy is bound to attack. May God lift you up. We are all praying.

Your Sister,
Love
 
Thank you, Love. Your prayers and encouragement are most appreciated, and valuable.

I take comfort as well from the understanding (repeated to me of late through multiple Scriptures and examples ;) ) that those He loves, He chastens.


Blessings in His love,

Mark
 
Mike,
Good point to bring up and definately something that the average person in today's day and age doesn't really think about all that much. Thankfully I have met MANY great people here with Biblical Families and I know that if anything were to happen to me that my wife(s) (e.g. after I'm actually married) and kids would have many friends and "shoulders" to lean on all over the world. As you said, most of secular society would have plans in place for their families income and expenses after their own death, but not for their spiritual needs. Again, good point.
 
I have sat back and watched and prayed and thought for the past several days regarding a post by BigMike, and now the string that originated under this heading A stubborn godly wife), and was most recently added to by Curtis and welltan. Oddly, all these things have intersected under the same general principle: free will.

My brother Mike raised the question of preparation for our families in the event that the Lord should call us home before them. His point was quite valid in that we give great thought and concern for all sorts of needs, but what about covering? We learn in the Bible that men are called to spiritual leadership because of the order of creation and because of deception that Eve and thus her offspring can be vulnerable to. Nathan brings a very good point home in that those we call brothers should be there to help and guide. This should be the burden of our hearts for our brothers. But the point that Mike also brings up is the designation of one particular brother to cover his family once he has passed away. It also brings up the bigger question, free will.

Mike has asked my wife and I to consider his request. He has also written of his hope that his wife would consider this request. The point I would like to emphasize is the word “consider”.

From the garden of Eden in Genesis through the Book of Revelation, God brings choices. I believe love is defined in choices. Man was created in the image and likeness of God, and thus, has unique characteristics: creativity, reasoning, and free will (among others). But free will is the essential element that God placed in man in order to have a relationship with man. In Rev. 3:20 Jesus says He stands at the door and knocks and if any man will open the door and invite Him in He will come in and have a relationship with that man (loose translation - for Cecil). Joshua shows leadership by bringing a choice before the people of Israel (Josh. 24:15): “Choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, but for me and my household we will serve the Lord.”

Free will and choice are essential parts of Christianity. Thus getting back to BigMike and his desire to provide for his family in the event of his death, providing an example and asking a brother to consider are most Biblical; demanding his wishes to be followed are not.

This brings me to the point of this present string: spiritual leadership, rebellious wives, or for that matter, divided households in issues related to PM. Jesus is always the example, and when in doubt, we need to look to His words and His deeds. There is no better leader than our Lord. As I was writing this, my young son came into me, tears in his eyes and a confession on his lips. While he was playing outside running to and fro, the gate got stuck open. Not wanting the dog to get out, he decided the best thing to do was force it to close. The result of his forceful effort was a broken gate. Now don’t get me wrong. Gates are not endowed with free will; nevertheless, to force something is to potentially break something. God has called us to be leaders in our homes. He has also called us to be at peace with all men (and wives) as far as it depends on us. He shows us love in that while we were sinners He first loved us, and lastly, as we were hurling insults to His face, He not only forgave us but choose to die for us.

Jesus was quite clear that we are NOT to abandon our wives, nor are we to divorce them (except for the case of sexual infidelity and our hard hearts which may not be able to forgive them for that act). This then brings to the forefront of what to do when there is a divided home or a rebellious wife? I see in Jesus the example of the perfect, patient, praying prince, loving them. Force the gate and break the gate, is that what the Lord would have? No! Yes, by all means set the example of submission in our own submission to the will of God, in the easy things and the hard things. Set the example of a man who searches out the scriptures to see if this be so. But most of all, set the example to love to the point of being willing to lay down your life for her.

My guess is that a woman who is so bathed in this love will follow this man to the edge of the universe.

To my two brothers whose wives have left them, my heart goes out to you. I sense that both have been men of honor and godly character, and yet these women have exercised their free will and left. In leaving they have walked out from the covering God has called you to provide, and outside that covering there will be consequences in their lives. My heart is touched that both of you are open to their return. Remain in prayer and open for their return (as long as there is no pollution), but move on also with your lives.

I had not intended for this post to go on so long, but when dealing with complex matters one is writes were one is drawn.

Ray
 
Ray,

It is always good to hear your comments. Thanks for posting!

Blessings,

Doc
 
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