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First wives

WifeOfHisYouth

Seasoned Member
Real Person
Female
Are there any first wives that would be willing to chat as I work out some of the raw emotions I feel during the process of going from only wife to first wife?
Thank you!
 
Thank you ladies. I would definitely love to talk. I'm too busy this evening to compose a longer pm but will as soon as possible. Thank you for replying.
 
Sorry for being late on this reply. I have not been feeling well and haven't checked the site for a few days. Welcome UnsureWife09! I hope that the past postings will be of some help to you and getting a chance to talk with these two ladies. I am also happy to answer any questions you might have. Just PM. I am a first wife.

Unfortunately, many of the ladies do not read the form on a regular basis and some just don't like to post. But we do have a Ladies chat on Tuesday nights from 7-9 pm EST. The link is at the top of the Forum Home page. We would love to have you join us. (Forgive me if you have come sometime when I wasn't there.) It will give you a chance to get to know some of the ladies involved with Biblical Families.

I look forward to getting to know you!
 
Hello,
I am new on this journey too. Maybe we could encourage each other. My husband is considering taking a second wife, I agree it is scriptural and I am struggling with the emotions that go along with being raised in our culture of monogamy.
 
Welcome Diamond! I hope we can encourage you too. It would be great to have both of you post an introduction either in the Introduction section or just in the Ladies Only section. It helps us get to know you a bit better and understand the situations you are both dealing with. Share only what you are comfortable sharing.

Diamond, I hope you will take the time to read past postings and PM anyone the seems to "speak" to you. Please feel free to PM me anytime. I am a first wife, just to let you know.

Blessings!
 
UnsureWife09 said:
Are there any first wives that would be willing to chat as I work out some of the raw emotions I feel during the process of going from only wife to first wife?
Thank you!

Wow, how I missed this inquiry ever since I've been here. I would be very much open to chat also, feel free to pm anytime. I'm based in Europe not sure about yourself?
It appears to me that the majority is actually based in America which of course makes it more difficult regarding the timezone. That's actually the reason I'm unable to participate in the Tuesdays online chat here because for me that's in the dead of the night..
 
I'm less than a day new to this (no other wife yet)...the only thing I can say is to saturate her in love as you do your husband. Embrace her with genuine love and respect and honor. Know one thing: It is not all about you. You are part of a growing family that is in 100% agreement together as one body. This should be your best quality decision...to love her as your husband does no matter what. Blessings.
 
@Johnna Yes! It is still tough to be honest. The idea has been around for almost a year now and I still get emotional about it at times.. Like today (even without him pursing anyone right now). The emotional journey is TOUGH with this topic. If you are like me, you will find you have good days and really hard days, days you try and picture it, and days it breaks your heart, days you feel loved and days you feel betrayed.. It truly is a crazy journey that takes a lot of prayer and stretching.
Feel free to message me, I don't have any friends that know about this topic so it is only on here that I have people that can relate to and know what it's like to be a wife with a husband that is looking for another person to love.
 
I am fairly new to this way of thinking as well. My husband and I started discussing adding another wife about a year and a half ago or so. It's taken me this long to truly find my real feelings about it, and I feel so at peace with it all now. I fought with myself a long, long time because part of me was saying it was wrong, he should be happy with just me, he should only love me, etc. and the other half said, do it, it feels right, he has more than enough love to share, it's ok, etc. I found that a lot of my fears stemmed from society and the way I was raised and it has been pretty difficult getting passed all that "training." I'd love to chat with wives who are new to this and also to those who have been living this life for a while. I know I've got much, much more to learn.
 
Hi Ladies.... Like wifeofhisyouth I too am a first wife...I have been married 8 years and we have 5 going on 6 children together. I really need some councel, advice from a first wife. Im dealing with a lot of emotions most are not good... My husband has already taken another wife it isnt just talk anymore. Help someone...
 
Hi Kathy, I commented on your other post, but I wanted to say congratulations on your children! I have been married nearly 11 years and have 6 children as well, oldest is 8 and youngest has just turned 1, I'm guessing you're having them pretty close together too? It's hard, but it's so worth it, well done!
 
Wow Sarah we have somethings in common. Yes ma'am except for my oldest 13, the others are 7,6,3,10 months and I'm due in May. Wouk like to stay in contact with you ..... not sure how to pm you
 
Kathy you can't start a PM yet until you've posted a little bit more, that's a safety feature built into this forum, but I can send you one and then we can chat.
 
Congrats on your growing family @Kathy. I can relate with you on the emotional aspect, pregnancy hormones DO NOT HELP. I am due in March and my husband has started in the looking phase, so I can't completely relate (as he hasn't taken a new wife yet) but I do understand to having many emotions that are not healthy in the last few days.. Sometimes it is just comforting to know that other first wives feel what you feel or have felt what you feel.. You aren't alone. Emotions are real and I'm learning to figure out what the cause of my emotions are- most come from fear or lack of good communication with my husband.
When did your husband take another wife? Had you been on board with the process or were you taken by surprise?
 
@WifeOfHisYouth thanks! Congrats to you as well!! My husband took another wife about 6 months ago but she had some issues and they agreed to have a period of separation so she is just now coming back into the family... it's been a rough 2 weeks with her being back in the picture.... I thought (was hoping) I know not good... that she wouldn't come back into the family.... when I was first presented with polgyny I was totally opposed.... but then I kept finding it in the Bible and the Farher was dealing with me. So I came around to it reluctantly... I told my husband I knew it wasn't sin. He expressed his desire to do it and brought up a sister we both knew and at the time was a very close friend of mine. So I agreed but it didn't make the emotional rollercoaster any better... and now it's like I'm living it again... feel free to pm me please as this is getting a bit personal
 
Praying for you, Kathy. I can't imagine the torturous roller coaster while living the life. My ride was soul crushing as it were with just the idea of my husband wanting another wife. May His peace that passes our weakly understanding flood your spirit, Sister.
 
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