new spouse's ex spouse

[irisheyes19782002]

Ok so i know that my situation is not the same as most. I actually have the possibility of having a second husband. We are on our way towards that. My first husbands name is dan, and the new guys name is also dan lol. So we call them "Original Dan" and "New Dan" I now feel as if my life and family is complete. "New Dan" has purchased me an engagement ring which both men picked out together (which i think is really sweet) and it will be presented to me on August 24th (my birthday) and of course i will say yes.
So my concern is this. New dan is just recently divorced and as everyone knows polygamy of any kind is not looked fondly upon. "New Dan" has three boys, and we figure we will keep it discreet with the boys and just let them think we are getting together for meals (we are purchasing a duplex for us all to live in)
I am worried about what to do about his ex wife. I cannot replace their mother, nor would i want to try. But i am so worried that she will find out and it may cause some issues later with custoday issues if she chooses to bring them up.
Does anyone have any suggestions on how to handle this, or if anyone has been in my situation (even if it was with a new wife).
Thank you so much for your help.

 

[sweetlissa]

1Co 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

Eph 5:23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

A woman cannot scripturally have two husbands because that would give her two heads. How would a woman submit to two husbands. The men cannot submit to two Gods and we cannot submit to two husbands.

There is no scripture throughout the bible that allows a woman to have two husbands at a time. By Hebrew definition a woman having two husbands would be committing adultery, and therefore would be subject to stoning. Of course we don't practise stoning now, but the fact that God prescribed death for it is a pretty strong indication that it is not allowed.

I hope you will reconsider this huge step you are considering.

In Love

Lissa

 

[irisheyes19782002]

I appreciate your thoughts Lisa but as i stated i do not practice the way most do, ie religious reasons i practice because of love.
The way that you explain the scriptures does help me to understand your view, and i appreciate your concern. However some also would disagree with you about how to preceive the bible (those not in polygamist relationships)
I only came here to search for help on how to handle this issue. If I said I was a guy this would not be an issue But i am an honest person.
All I am asking for is for some suggestions on if anyone has been in this situation with a possible wife, what did you do about it? How did you handle it?
Thanks for your help

 

[Anonymous]

I actually have the possibility of having a second husband. We are on our way towards that. My first husbands name is dan, and the new guys name is also dan lol. So we call them "Original Dan" and "New Dan" I now feel as if my life and family is complete.

irisheyes,

Please understand that I'm speaking purely from a Biblical perspective now. How you, your husband or this other man feel about this arrangement is completely irrelevant. What you are describing is referred to as adultery in Scripture. Your husband, Original Dan, is your only husband and if you lay with New Dan, then you and New Dan will be guilt of adultery according to God's Word. It's really no different than if Original Dan and New Dan decided to lie together. The penalty in the Mosaic Law was identical. If you disagree that this is sin, I would be happy to go through the verses step by step. If you're simply unconcerned whether it is sinful or not, then the point is moot. You are free to do whatever you choose to do, but don't be deceived into thinking this is permitted by God. This is completely forbidden throughout God's law, in both Testaments. Please don't take offense, but as I see it, this would be like asking for advice on how to help someone who wanted to marry their Great Dane. The entire question is out of the question. As Believers, we can never condone blatant sin. Simply don't do it.

That having been said, I will attempt to answer your question in a different manner. Hypothetically, if you were a man who had one wife and were considering taking a second wife, I would tell you that you have a valid concern. An ex-spouse can certainly cause legal problems for you if they learn of your relationship, seeing as how polygyny is frowned on in our culture. Personally, I would be unwilling to take a second wife where there was a high likelihood of such problems. After all, since a man is forbidden to marry a woman who already has a husband, in this hypothetical scenario, you (as the man) couldn't marry this second woman while her husband was alive in any event, and her husband would be unlikely to cause any custody problems if he's deceased. However, the same question could come up regarding grandparents or other family members, so I would caution you to be very careful with the choices you make.

David

 

[sixth_heretic]

irisheyes what you fail to understand about this site is that this is not technically a polygamy forum it is a Polygyny forum. Everyone in here only believes in Polygyny and believes that a woman having two husbands is against scripture. I thought I would be upfront with you as to avoid any undo future conflict I can see arising. I wish you well and would hope that you would reconsider your lifestyle choice. But to each thier own. God bless.