• Biblical Families is not a dating website. It is a forum to discuss issues relating to marriage and the Bible, and to offer guidance and support, not to find a wife. Click here for more information.

3 wife less likely to think your a creeper?

David D

David D

Member
Male
It really seems to me like a married man that is interested in marrying a second woman comes off kinda creepy to most western women. Does this dynamic tend to change after you are married to multiple spouses? It seems a lot of women enjoy the sister wives type shows.
It seems sad that a godly man gets his name drug in the mud for wanting to cover and protect a second , third etc woman.
 
I suppose there could be a perceived difference in that the first other wife a man takes is the switch from monogyny to polygyny, and may be a change of thinking which could be perceived as "convenient". But taking a third wife when he already has multiple wives would not be a change in thinking; if anything it could be perceived as evidence that he really does accept multiple wives, rather than just wanting an excuse for less than honorable motives.

All in all, problems can be avoided if you are fortunate enough to accept polygyny before you are married, and make sure someone is on board with it before you marry them. The attitude of a woman wanting a man to love no one but her, or a man declaring he will love only one woman, has been glorified in the modern Roman culture as in its past: it is made to look beautiful, but then, so is suicide. It is a temptation deliberately added to the Devil's already swollen arsenal, and kept supplied with the heaviest ammunition. Innocence and the innocent are barraged by it continuously.
 
I was married as a third wife, and I can say I was definitely more open to my husband because he was already poly.

I already wanted to be a third wife, but that was largely because I figured it was the easiest position. I figured a man marrying a third (or fourth or fifth) wife had already smoothed out the kinks in his family from becoming polygamists. He wasn't just interested in more women, more sex.

I do think being an established polygamist eases the "ick factor" for most women. At least until you get to a weird number of wives, like 7 or 10 or 19! :p
 
W
frederick said:
I'll let you know when I have my third, fourth, and fifths. :D[/QUOTE
Click to expand...
Lili said:
I was married as a third wife, and I can say I was definitely more open to my husband because he was already poly.

I already wanted to be a third wife, but that was largely because I figured it was the easiest position. I figured a man marrying a third (or fourth or fifth) wife had already smoothed out the kinks in his family from becoming polygamists. He wasn't just interested in more women, more sex.

I do think being an established polygamist eases the "ick factor" for most women. At least until you get to a weird number of wives, like 7 or 10 or 19! :p
Click to expand...

That is inline with what i was thinking. Thanks for the great reply!
 
Speaking of weird numbers, one way the Roman culture misportrays polygyny with more ease is that in the biblical system the man provides for all his wives and children. The same arguments made against large families (large in the sense of many children) are also made against having multiple wives, even more so because more wives means even more children (Gideon had 71 sons, and who knows how many daughters). Thus it is the richer who have more wives, according to the biblical pattern, which means both that it is rarer (thus more easily portrayed as abnormal), and looked down upon as being associated with wealth.

Solomon eventually had 1000 wives, but before he left "the daughters of Jerusalem" to marry strangers, the Song of Songs implies that he had 140 wives, and many more in his eye. God said he gave him "largeness of heart, even as the sand that is on the sea shore." - I Kings 4:29
His best beloved was obviously impressed: "King Solomon made himself a chariot of the wood of Lebanon. He made the pillars thereof of silver, the bottom thereof of gold, the covering of it of purple, the midst thereof being paved with love, for the daughters of Jerusalem." - Song of Songs 3:9-10
 
Another impressive indication of Solomon's family size was the food that apparently his immediate family ate:
"And Solomon's provision for one day was thirty measures of fine flour, and threescore measures of meal, ten fat oxen, and twenty oxen out of the pastures, and an hundred sheep, beside harts, and roebucks, and fallowdeer, and fatted fowl." - I Kings 4:22-23

And this was, again, when it was describing his kingdom in the time of his wisdom.
 
Patrick Lauser said:
Another impressive indication of Solomon's family size was the food that apparently his immediate family ate:
"And Solomon's provision for one day was thirty measures of fine flour, and threescore measures of meal, ten fat oxen, and twenty oxen out of the pastures, and an hundred sheep, beside harts, and roebucks, and fallowdeer, and fatted fowl." - I Kings 4:22-23

And this was, again, when it was describing his kingdom in the time of his wisdom.
Click to expand...

Sounds like an epic feast everyday!
 
The hardest part of modern polygyny is breaking the ice with a new woman without them feeling like a mistress. I can only imagine that if are in the company of multiple wives in public, additional women feel they have permission to be available to you without feeling morally compromised.
 
Patrick Lauser said:
Another impressive indication of Solomon's family size was the food that apparently his immediate family ate:
"And Solomon's provision for one day was thirty measures of fine flour, and threescore measures of meal, ten fat oxen, and twenty oxen out of the pastures, and an hundred sheep, beside harts, and roebucks, and fallowdeer, and fatted fowl." - I Kings 4:22-23

And this was, again, when it was describing his kingdom in the time of his wisdom.
Click to expand...

It makes your head spin to think of slaughtering and preparing that much food.....as an only wife. But there were mucho servants and I'm sure the family lived relatively easy.
 
Well it's a good question. I am open about my marriages and often I get comments "do you want a 4th?" which I I never know if its serious or a joke. I think at first glance some women see it as attractive, he is in demand kind of thing, but soon as they think about it in practice they reject the idea due to it just not being popular or common. So many things I imaging run in their head, jealousy, time, attention, family and friend acceptance and so on. Don't let this discourage you though, wishing you the best.
 
William Robertson said:
The hardest part of modern polygyny is breaking the ice with a new woman without them feeling like a mistress. I can only imagine that if are in the company of multiple wives in public, additional women feel they have permission to be available to you without feeling morally compromised.
Click to expand...


Personally I haven't encountered that mistress fear or feeling response, yet. When they know your other wives are aware and accept your choice as a huaband to date or marry another then the new lady doesn't see it as a "mistress". Usually mistresses are in hiding or secret.
 
Sean Miller said:
Well it's a good question. I am open about my marriages and often I get comments "do you want a 4th?" which I I never know if its serious or a joke. I think at first glance some women see it as attractive, he is in demand kind of thing, but soon as they think about it in practice they reject the idea due to it just not being popular or common. So many things I imaging run in their head, jealousy, time, attention, family and friend acceptance and so on. Don't let this discourage you though, wishing you the best.
Click to expand...
Thanks for the reply sean, makes sense!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top