All doctrine in the Bible is designed to be practical. Indeed one of the biggest issues we professors face in seminary is making what we teach practical and relevant to the actual world in which we live so our students do not just get head knowledge. Fuming feminists and egregious egalitarians who try and still act like they believe the Bible will circumvent the word of God and do things like claiming the biblical texts on headship and submission are for a time of the past and were just for their times but not for this era. They disguise their unbelief under this cultural relativism idea.
Yet even so we are still left with the real problem of women who truly do accept and believe the Bible's words about headship to be for today. Yet they sometimes still struggle with this and their will seems to be bound by their emotional struggle. They in their head agree they are to submit but their emotions drive them in a different direction. Some men who have only one member to their family or multiple members with them struggle to understand this. What makes it even more of a struggle is that we have been told by many that we cannot truly understand emotionally like a woman. But is that really true?
We find that the Bible teaches us that we are to view the relationship with Christ to his body as the way to see our relationship to our woman or women. The way Christ works towards his members is the way we are to work toward our members. So is it possible then to find and examine some way in which we relate to God so we can feel and experience the same type of struggle as does a woman who struggles to submit to us? I believe there is and it is often more simple than one might think.
First, let me explain with great brevity why this is important. The Bible tells us that we are to lead and live with our women in "an understanding way" (1 Peter 3). Thus, if we are to fulfill that command it is important for us to truly and really understand how they feel when they struggle with submission. How can we replicate this experience so that we can have that form of understanding?
We can do this by grasping the correlation between sovereignty, the Lord's headship with us, and our headship with a member of our family. The Bible says that Christ is our head and that the man is the head of the woman. So for us to understand the struggle with submission we simply have to look to how much we complain about our circumstances of life because God is sovereign as the head and governs the entire universe including the circumstances to which we find ourselves. The circumstances that we face day-to-day are so because God sovereignly makes them so. Look for example at these various Bible verses that speak to God's sovereignty:
God is sovereignly over evil as he ruled in making sure Christ was crucified: "this man [Jesus Christ] was delivered over by the predetermined plan and foreknowledge of God" (Acts 2:23). "For truly in this city there were gathered together against your holy servant Jesus whom you anointed, both Herod and Pontius Pilate, along with the Gentiles and the people of Israel, to do whatever your hand and and your plan had predestined to take place" (Acts 4:27-28).
God is sovereignly over salvation as he ordains and chooses those whom he saves: "And when the Gentiles heard this, they began rejoicing and glorifying the Word of the Lord, and as many as were appointed/ordained to eternal life believed" (Acts 13:48). "But when he who had set me apart before I was born, and who called me by his grace . . ." (Gal. 1:15). "In love he predestined us for adoption through Jesus Christ according to the purpose of his will" (Eph. 1:4).
God is sovereignly over the weather and the storms: "Whatever the LORD pleases, he does, in heaven and on earth, in the seas and all the deeps. He it is who makes the clouds rise at the end of the earth, who makes lightening for the rain and brings forth the wind for the storehouses" (Psalm 148:8). "I kept rain from falling when you needed it the most, ruining all your crops. I sent rain on one town but withheld it from another. Rain fell one field, while another field withered away" (Amos 4:7).
God sovereignly rules over individual lives and actions: "I know, LORD, that a person's life is not his own. No one is able to plan his own course" (Jer. 10:23). "A man's steps are ordained by the Lord. How then can anyone understand his own way" (Proverbs 20:23)? "For it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure" (Phil. 2:13).
God is sovereignly ruling over nations: "He makes nations great, and he destroys them; he enlarges nations, and he leads them away" (Job 12:23). "After this time had passed, I, Nebuchadnezzar, looked up to heaven. My sanity returned, and I praised and worshiped the Most High and honored the one who lives forever. His rule is everlasting, and his kingdom is eternal. All the people of the earth are nothing compared to him. He does as he pleases among the angels of heaven and among the people of the earth. No one can stop him or say to him, 'What do you mean by doing these things? (Dan. 4:34-35).
So what does this mean practically? Listen to what Paul said about grumbling and griping and complaining. He said, "Do everything without complaining and grumbling" (Phil. 2:14).
Men let me stop and ask you? How often do you complain and grumble? Ouch! I stand here guilty. This command about not complaining and grumbling is tough. But I see in that I struggle to submit to God's headship over me. God controls the weather. When I complain that it is too hot or too cold I am expressing a non-submissive attitude and spirit. God controls the weather, the rain, the snow, the wind. Thus, when some weather pattern occurs I, if walking in the Spirit, will seek to see God in that weather pattern and reflect on it in some way so that I can see God in it. When grumble and complain over some issue that has taken place in my life or another person's life I am missing the purpose of the Lord in it. God ordains all things so that we can see something about him in it. When I struggle with something God is doing around me it is a good time for me to take note of that struggle. It is the same feeling and struggle that a family member has when trying to appreciate and respect and submit to their head's rule.
Thus, as we look at those areas noted above we can examine where we complain and in that see our relationship to our head and in correlation see and feel how we struggle so that we understand how a woman struggles under our headship. When we are prideful and we do not like God being sovereign over salvation we can see how a family member struggles over our sovereign rights to take in another member to our family. When we feel that dislike swell up in our hearts where we complain and express our frustrations over daily life we can see in our hearts how we struggle to recognize and submit to God who ordained each event of the days of our life (see Psalm 139:16 where each day of our life was ordained before there ever was one of them).
The point is very simple. For us to live with an understanding heart as to why a woman struggles to submit we must examine how we too struggle to submit to God's absolute sovereignty. The more we complain about this or that the more we can see in our own lives our heart and feelings that lead us to fail in our submission. When we look at how we feel at those times when we act like that we can then identify with the ones in our family who too struggle to submit to our headship. And the more that we work to curb our grumbling and complaining heart so that we are more in line with our head and his sovereignty the more likely it is that our members will have the right model to submit to our headship and rule.
Yet even so we are still left with the real problem of women who truly do accept and believe the Bible's words about headship to be for today. Yet they sometimes still struggle with this and their will seems to be bound by their emotional struggle. They in their head agree they are to submit but their emotions drive them in a different direction. Some men who have only one member to their family or multiple members with them struggle to understand this. What makes it even more of a struggle is that we have been told by many that we cannot truly understand emotionally like a woman. But is that really true?
We find that the Bible teaches us that we are to view the relationship with Christ to his body as the way to see our relationship to our woman or women. The way Christ works towards his members is the way we are to work toward our members. So is it possible then to find and examine some way in which we relate to God so we can feel and experience the same type of struggle as does a woman who struggles to submit to us? I believe there is and it is often more simple than one might think.
First, let me explain with great brevity why this is important. The Bible tells us that we are to lead and live with our women in "an understanding way" (1 Peter 3). Thus, if we are to fulfill that command it is important for us to truly and really understand how they feel when they struggle with submission. How can we replicate this experience so that we can have that form of understanding?
We can do this by grasping the correlation between sovereignty, the Lord's headship with us, and our headship with a member of our family. The Bible says that Christ is our head and that the man is the head of the woman. So for us to understand the struggle with submission we simply have to look to how much we complain about our circumstances of life because God is sovereign as the head and governs the entire universe including the circumstances to which we find ourselves. The circumstances that we face day-to-day are so because God sovereignly makes them so. Look for example at these various Bible verses that speak to God's sovereignty:
God is sovereignly over evil as he ruled in making sure Christ was crucified: "this man [Jesus Christ] was delivered over by the predetermined plan and foreknowledge of God" (Acts 2:23). "For truly in this city there were gathered together against your holy servant Jesus whom you anointed, both Herod and Pontius Pilate, along with the Gentiles and the people of Israel, to do whatever your hand and and your plan had predestined to take place" (Acts 4:27-28).
God is sovereignly over salvation as he ordains and chooses those whom he saves: "And when the Gentiles heard this, they began rejoicing and glorifying the Word of the Lord, and as many as were appointed/ordained to eternal life believed" (Acts 13:48). "But when he who had set me apart before I was born, and who called me by his grace . . ." (Gal. 1:15). "In love he predestined us for adoption through Jesus Christ according to the purpose of his will" (Eph. 1:4).
God is sovereignly over the weather and the storms: "Whatever the LORD pleases, he does, in heaven and on earth, in the seas and all the deeps. He it is who makes the clouds rise at the end of the earth, who makes lightening for the rain and brings forth the wind for the storehouses" (Psalm 148:8). "I kept rain from falling when you needed it the most, ruining all your crops. I sent rain on one town but withheld it from another. Rain fell one field, while another field withered away" (Amos 4:7).
God sovereignly rules over individual lives and actions: "I know, LORD, that a person's life is not his own. No one is able to plan his own course" (Jer. 10:23). "A man's steps are ordained by the Lord. How then can anyone understand his own way" (Proverbs 20:23)? "For it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure" (Phil. 2:13).
God is sovereignly ruling over nations: "He makes nations great, and he destroys them; he enlarges nations, and he leads them away" (Job 12:23). "After this time had passed, I, Nebuchadnezzar, looked up to heaven. My sanity returned, and I praised and worshiped the Most High and honored the one who lives forever. His rule is everlasting, and his kingdom is eternal. All the people of the earth are nothing compared to him. He does as he pleases among the angels of heaven and among the people of the earth. No one can stop him or say to him, 'What do you mean by doing these things? (Dan. 4:34-35).
So what does this mean practically? Listen to what Paul said about grumbling and griping and complaining. He said, "Do everything without complaining and grumbling" (Phil. 2:14).
Men let me stop and ask you? How often do you complain and grumble? Ouch! I stand here guilty. This command about not complaining and grumbling is tough. But I see in that I struggle to submit to God's headship over me. God controls the weather. When I complain that it is too hot or too cold I am expressing a non-submissive attitude and spirit. God controls the weather, the rain, the snow, the wind. Thus, when some weather pattern occurs I, if walking in the Spirit, will seek to see God in that weather pattern and reflect on it in some way so that I can see God in it. When grumble and complain over some issue that has taken place in my life or another person's life I am missing the purpose of the Lord in it. God ordains all things so that we can see something about him in it. When I struggle with something God is doing around me it is a good time for me to take note of that struggle. It is the same feeling and struggle that a family member has when trying to appreciate and respect and submit to their head's rule.
Thus, as we look at those areas noted above we can examine where we complain and in that see our relationship to our head and in correlation see and feel how we struggle so that we understand how a woman struggles under our headship. When we are prideful and we do not like God being sovereign over salvation we can see how a family member struggles over our sovereign rights to take in another member to our family. When we feel that dislike swell up in our hearts where we complain and express our frustrations over daily life we can see in our hearts how we struggle to recognize and submit to God who ordained each event of the days of our life (see Psalm 139:16 where each day of our life was ordained before there ever was one of them).
The point is very simple. For us to live with an understanding heart as to why a woman struggles to submit we must examine how we too struggle to submit to God's absolute sovereignty. The more we complain about this or that the more we can see in our own lives our heart and feelings that lead us to fail in our submission. When we look at how we feel at those times when we act like that we can then identify with the ones in our family who too struggle to submit to our headship. And the more that we work to curb our grumbling and complaining heart so that we are more in line with our head and his sovereignty the more likely it is that our members will have the right model to submit to our headship and rule.
