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an offshoot
- Thread starter ginger2
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I don’t see a one-size-fits-all answer to this question. Each husband is going to have to work it out with his wife to the best of his ability.
The husband should be the acknowledged and respected leader, his wishes should be followed as much as possible.
I feel that there is a big difference between this subject and the husband wanting to be served pork. Wear gloves and prepare his meal, then let the dog lick the leftovers off of the plate and the pan. Then wash them with gloves on. You haven’t been violated. If he is requiring you to partake also, that is a horse of another color.
As far as sexual practices, requiring your wife to do something that is repugnant to her doesn’t seem like a very good way to build your relationship with her. Maybe, with time and loving experimentation, you could slowly move towards the practices that you desire. But why make your family a war zone over a sexual preference?
Ultimately, the way that you deal with the problem defines your leadership abilities.
Likewise ladies, things like this will define/refine who you are as a wife.
Are you just Righteously Indignant? Or are you truly trying to be fully submitted and supportive while working through a problem?
The husband should be the acknowledged and respected leader, his wishes should be followed as much as possible.
I feel that there is a big difference between this subject and the husband wanting to be served pork. Wear gloves and prepare his meal, then let the dog lick the leftovers off of the plate and the pan. Then wash them with gloves on. You haven’t been violated. If he is requiring you to partake also, that is a horse of another color.
As far as sexual practices, requiring your wife to do something that is repugnant to her doesn’t seem like a very good way to build your relationship with her. Maybe, with time and loving experimentation, you could slowly move towards the practices that you desire. But why make your family a war zone over a sexual preference?
Ultimately, the way that you deal with the problem defines your leadership abilities.
Likewise ladies, things like this will define/refine who you are as a wife.
Are you just Righteously Indignant? Or are you truly trying to be fully submitted and supportive while working through a problem?
I consider both oral sex and anal sex r disgusting. Vaginal sex is the only thing I believe should be done between Christian couples. It is just my personal preference. Not something to do with any religious command. Even though I've seen at least one Christian website that tried to prohibit anal sex by Leviticus 18:22, and oral sex by Deuteronomy 14:3. Huge stretch though. NOTE IM STILL A VIRGIN, AND I'VE TOLD MY FIANCEE HOW BOTH MAKES ME GREEN, AND SHE UNDERSTANDS. U can probably condemn anal sex by the Bible, even though u would have to stretch passages to do so.
Isn’t that exactly what the church currently does with plural marriage, too?
I agree. The Church does that a lot, in order to back the status quo. Eventually, they will start backing gay marriage the same way. It is bad to stretch passages (like what happens a lot with Matthew 22:30), to try to make ur sin (adultery, etc), not a sin anymore, or to make something like polygyny sinful, when it is not, in Holy Scripture. No where in the seventy-three books of my Douay-Rheims Bible, is plural marriage sinful.
It's hard to separate the moral issue from the personal preference issue. Few could comment on this issue without expressing their personal distaste for the practice; as if that has bearing on the theological question. Frequently in marriages, objections to sexual practices based on moral grounds have their true source in personal preference and/or attraction issues.
This isn't about anal sex per se; I've seen just about every sexual practice claimed sinful. Before you get on your high horse about how something is obviously disgusting keep in mind someone else probably thinks something you do is disgusting. The end of that path is the most prudish setting rules for us all.
On matters of personal preference a man through dwelling in understanding may choose to forgo things, but so too a good woman will wish to please her man therefor embrace things he wants it regardless how she feels. Likewise sexuality is very plastic and a wise man can lead his wife to love things previously found distasteful. Very often her body has a different opinion than her mind on the matter and perceptions of sexual activities are more a reflection of society's biases than actual physical desire.
But when it comes to matters of moral/sinful questions there is a fundamental question: who is her spiritual leader? Who does she look to for understanding on spiritual maters? Who is her guru?
For some women it is themselves. For others a famous pastor or women's author. But for the Biblical wife it should be her husband. The marriage bed is undefiled. If her husband teaches such and such sexual practice is not sinful she should embrace that. Otherwise she becomes the ruler of the marriage bed and by extension often the whole thing.
A man and wife will never see eye to eye on every issue of theology, practice, and sex. How they navigate these will govern the outcome of the marriage. But there is only one path that yields fruit of true unity and marital bliss.
This isn't about anal sex per se; I've seen just about every sexual practice claimed sinful. Before you get on your high horse about how something is obviously disgusting keep in mind someone else probably thinks something you do is disgusting. The end of that path is the most prudish setting rules for us all.
On matters of personal preference a man through dwelling in understanding may choose to forgo things, but so too a good woman will wish to please her man therefor embrace things he wants it regardless how she feels. Likewise sexuality is very plastic and a wise man can lead his wife to love things previously found distasteful. Very often her body has a different opinion than her mind on the matter and perceptions of sexual activities are more a reflection of society's biases than actual physical desire.
But when it comes to matters of moral/sinful questions there is a fundamental question: who is her spiritual leader? Who does she look to for understanding on spiritual maters? Who is her guru?
For some women it is themselves. For others a famous pastor or women's author. But for the Biblical wife it should be her husband. The marriage bed is undefiled. If her husband teaches such and such sexual practice is not sinful she should embrace that. Otherwise she becomes the ruler of the marriage bed and by extension often the whole thing.
A man and wife will never see eye to eye on every issue of theology, practice, and sex. How they navigate these will govern the outcome of the marriage. But there is only one path that yields fruit of true unity and marital bliss.
This is one reason tribulation is coming and is making much of the church "non easential".
It happened in many places before too like cuba in the late 50s, russia late 20s to early 30s, mexico in the late 20s).
History of the bolchevik is one that led to many millions snuffed and the west media was quiet. Many estimate 50 to 70 million. But, holodomor speak is not part of an industry.
("Thou shalt not eat any abominable thing." - Deuteronomy 14:3)
This is unbelievable.
Words cannot express how wrong this is. Going from the word "eat" in the Bible to modern sexual slang alone makes the mind reel. Worse, this is to classify a woman's secret and holy members as an "abominable thing": this is violently wrong, incalculably and unacceptably wrong.
Phew. No, you won't usually see me get this angry (unless this kind of thing starts happening more often, in which case... no, it's still hard for me to believe someone could actually think such a thing - it must be some kind of prank; people sometimes do such things to discredit Christianity).
But anyway, I can see that someone may not want to partake of oral sex, but it makes me wonder if they don't want to do it because of a problem which I used to have, as I put it in another thread:
People who accept as true the misunderstanding that confuses and mixes elimination with sexuality are led into unnatural things like anal sex, golden showers, and other disgusting things. And others could through the same misunderstanding be put off by oral sex, and so in a sense some people would like anal sex and others would dislike oral sex for the same reason. It seems to me that oral sex can be a powerful way to break that misunderstanding, and show "more abundant honour on the part that lacked". Really it would be hard to think of a more complete demonstration of seeing something as beautiful, clean, natural, undefiled, and desirable, than the act of oral sex. Think of what it could do for a wife, to be so obviously and completely accepted.
(Just to be clear, I don't believe there is any biblical case that anal sex is a sin... any more than eating excrement is a sin.)
Are you sure you didn't just careen into the opposite ditch with that one?
Haha!
Absolutely sure, yes.
I agree. If you're eating it you're doing it wrong...
I have a bovine photo example of that original, singular victim of gravity, line. Our little steer once was fighting his halter and fell. He landed laying on his own head unable to get up at all. After snapping the picture I pulled his head out from under his side with the lead rope.
Anal is utterly repulsive to me!
I had a horse literally pass out in cross ties because she fought and the halter cut off her air supply! Lol
On an issue like this I would usually express my personal distaste, but not because that has any bearing on the issue. The sole reason to make such statements is to reduce the possibility of misunderstanding. Very often, when you say "that's not a sin", people jump to accusing you of promoting it. Saying "I disagree with it emotively" avoids that misunderstanding and pointless debate.
I completely agree with you that we should be able to just talk about the theology in isolation. I certainly do that in company that are all capable of having such a discussion. But here, I do not know who the audience are (anyone could be reading), and I am always conscious that many readers will jump to conclusions.