While acknowledging that some men will claim to have been “called” to PM as a mere technique of spiritual abuse, by which they hope to forcibly silence the opposition of their wives, and justify the sexual exploits / affairs of which they are already guilty …
[highlight=#FFFF00]Can and does God call some men to PM? [/highlight]
[highlight=#FFFF00]Has He created differences in men, such that some men “naturally” welcome, even crave, the responsibility and rewards of PM, while others find it inconceivable, and monogamy the best they can imagine?[/highlight]
Let’s up the ante …
[highlight=#FFFF00]Does God call some men to PM over the objections of their wives? Or without calling the wife?[/highlight] (Uh-oh! Have I quit preaching and commenced to meddling?)
This question is frequently raised with an implied answer of “No”, usually by an objecting wife, as a means of trying to hold a man back from moving forward on this new course.
The argument goes, “The same Holy Spirit is at work in me as in you. So if I don’t receive or refuse to accept this teaching, then you haven’t been taught by the Holy Spirit. Therefore, you have no right to move forward without me consenting and being in unity with you.”
Sounds very nice, and very concerned with the preservation of the existing family unit. But is it? Let’s switch it up …
A common church teaching is that your priorities need to be God, then family, business, church, friends/neighbors, then finally self. (With some minor variance in order, perhaps.)
But as the teaching progresses, it becomes clear that what is being taught is that a man’s first responsibility is to his family, and God only has a right to what is left over. So, and this is a common occurrence, …
God calls a man to ministry. His wife objects. “I want you here at home more. Not running off to play the Big Holy Man of God to everyone else. Stay home and take care of business, before you dare to teach or preach to anyone else.”
Or maybe “Move? Are you kidding? We just got settled here! The kids are doing well in school, I’ve got friends, and a garden in! NO! Your first responsibility is to your family!!!”
REALLY?
Show me where in the Bible you find that? :? :roll: (Keep thinking …)
Is it possible that the reason Paul offered his non-divinely-inspired (he SAID so) opinion that it was better not to marry and possibly be distracted from your calling, was that he had just such a scenario in mind? :roll:
When Jesus called the twelve disciples, and they dropped whatever they were doing, and simply walked away to follow HIM, is it anywhere recorded that He first checked with their wives to make sure it was ok with them? That it wouldn’t disrupt the family routine or finances or harmony? :roll:
I recently heard a discussion on this by a pastor whom God is using mightily all around the world.
He says that when he and his wife married, he told her, “Honey, I have a commitment to God that predates and supersedes my commitment to you. What’s more, God has a pastoral calling upon my life. So if God tells me to go here or there, and do this or that, I am going to do it.
I hope you will always move WITH me. But if not, it will NOT be a matter of me leaving you, but of you refusing to follow me.”
He continues that, to her credit, she has always followed, and opines that she deserves a special place in Heaven as she’s already been through Hell following him around all these years.
But he also goes on to say that over and over he has seen men who turned back from God’s calling in an effort to “save their families.” It has NEVER ONCE, to his knowledge, worked. By and by the family splits up anyway, and the man often ceases serving God entirely. Back to PM …
A man has multiple affairs over the years, and finally decides, “You know, I really wanna KEEP this one. I don’t care about my wife so much, but don’t have a right to divorce her. Besides, if I did, she’d have a right to half my toys and maybe future income and that would be most inconvenient. Maybe PM is the answer. If I can just justify it Biblically, Whee! I’m home safe!”
Sorry, I got no respect for that, and this post is NOT addressed to that situation.
Another man has, all his life, felt a tug towards PM. Finally he delves into the Word to find answers, and the Spirit opens the subject before his eyes in beautiful clarity. All the loose ends that he has always seen flapping in the wind when monogamy was taught fit neatly together and make perfect sense when PM is presented. It is as though he has received a Ramah quickening of the Word direct to himself from God. In his exuberance, he tells his wife in one excited rush, (predictably, being a guy, at the worst possible moment).
She responds, “Not only No, but HELL NO! You do that and I’ll divorce you and destroy your reputation and spiritual influence with everyone you know. You don’t have a right to do that without my consent, and I do NOT give it. And remember, Your first responsibility is to your family!!!”
Now admittedly, patience and wisdom are needed. He may have had months to study and consider, argue and counter, and adjust his thinking to a path so different than what he was raised with, while she’s had 2 minutes. He can and should give her some time and thoughtful attention and maybe space, and teaching, and … However, ultimately…
What should he do?
I propose that just as with the pastor who pulls back from God’s calling upon his life in an effort to save his family by placating his wife, yet ultimately loses both his family AND his relationship with God, …
A man who has truly been led to this point by God, (and yes, he must examine himself to decide which of his heads has led him here,) dare not draw back from the Word, the calling, and the truth of God revealed.
No matter whether the area of truth SEEMS large or small, important or not, salvation-related or not, if God’s Spirit has made the effort to open and reveal and shine light upon it to YOU personally, you CANNOT SAFELY turn your back thereon and continue to expect the blessing of God.
Certainly there is no guarantee that doing so would truly save your family. Worse, even if you stayed together, what will have become of your soul?
[highlight=#FFFF00]Can and does God call some men to PM? [/highlight]
[highlight=#FFFF00]Has He created differences in men, such that some men “naturally” welcome, even crave, the responsibility and rewards of PM, while others find it inconceivable, and monogamy the best they can imagine?[/highlight]
Let’s up the ante …
[highlight=#FFFF00]Does God call some men to PM over the objections of their wives? Or without calling the wife?[/highlight] (Uh-oh! Have I quit preaching and commenced to meddling?)
This question is frequently raised with an implied answer of “No”, usually by an objecting wife, as a means of trying to hold a man back from moving forward on this new course.
The argument goes, “The same Holy Spirit is at work in me as in you. So if I don’t receive or refuse to accept this teaching, then you haven’t been taught by the Holy Spirit. Therefore, you have no right to move forward without me consenting and being in unity with you.”
Sounds very nice, and very concerned with the preservation of the existing family unit. But is it? Let’s switch it up …
A common church teaching is that your priorities need to be God, then family, business, church, friends/neighbors, then finally self. (With some minor variance in order, perhaps.)
But as the teaching progresses, it becomes clear that what is being taught is that a man’s first responsibility is to his family, and God only has a right to what is left over. So, and this is a common occurrence, …
God calls a man to ministry. His wife objects. “I want you here at home more. Not running off to play the Big Holy Man of God to everyone else. Stay home and take care of business, before you dare to teach or preach to anyone else.”
Or maybe “Move? Are you kidding? We just got settled here! The kids are doing well in school, I’ve got friends, and a garden in! NO! Your first responsibility is to your family!!!”
REALLY?
Show me where in the Bible you find that? :? :roll: (Keep thinking …)Is it possible that the reason Paul offered his non-divinely-inspired (he SAID so) opinion that it was better not to marry and possibly be distracted from your calling, was that he had just such a scenario in mind? :roll:
When Jesus called the twelve disciples, and they dropped whatever they were doing, and simply walked away to follow HIM, is it anywhere recorded that He first checked with their wives to make sure it was ok with them? That it wouldn’t disrupt the family routine or finances or harmony? :roll:
I recently heard a discussion on this by a pastor whom God is using mightily all around the world.
He says that when he and his wife married, he told her, “Honey, I have a commitment to God that predates and supersedes my commitment to you. What’s more, God has a pastoral calling upon my life. So if God tells me to go here or there, and do this or that, I am going to do it.
I hope you will always move WITH me. But if not, it will NOT be a matter of me leaving you, but of you refusing to follow me.”
He continues that, to her credit, she has always followed, and opines that she deserves a special place in Heaven as she’s already been through Hell following him around all these years.
But he also goes on to say that over and over he has seen men who turned back from God’s calling in an effort to “save their families.” It has NEVER ONCE, to his knowledge, worked. By and by the family splits up anyway, and the man often ceases serving God entirely. Back to PM …
A man has multiple affairs over the years, and finally decides, “You know, I really wanna KEEP this one. I don’t care about my wife so much, but don’t have a right to divorce her. Besides, if I did, she’d have a right to half my toys and maybe future income and that would be most inconvenient. Maybe PM is the answer. If I can just justify it Biblically, Whee! I’m home safe!”
Sorry, I got no respect for that, and this post is NOT addressed to that situation.
Another man has, all his life, felt a tug towards PM. Finally he delves into the Word to find answers, and the Spirit opens the subject before his eyes in beautiful clarity. All the loose ends that he has always seen flapping in the wind when monogamy was taught fit neatly together and make perfect sense when PM is presented. It is as though he has received a Ramah quickening of the Word direct to himself from God. In his exuberance, he tells his wife in one excited rush, (predictably, being a guy, at the worst possible moment).
She responds, “Not only No, but HELL NO! You do that and I’ll divorce you and destroy your reputation and spiritual influence with everyone you know. You don’t have a right to do that without my consent, and I do NOT give it. And remember, Your first responsibility is to your family!!!”
Now admittedly, patience and wisdom are needed. He may have had months to study and consider, argue and counter, and adjust his thinking to a path so different than what he was raised with, while she’s had 2 minutes. He can and should give her some time and thoughtful attention and maybe space, and teaching, and … However, ultimately…
What should he do?
I propose that just as with the pastor who pulls back from God’s calling upon his life in an effort to save his family by placating his wife, yet ultimately loses both his family AND his relationship with God, …
A man who has truly been led to this point by God, (and yes, he must examine himself to decide which of his heads has led him here,) dare not draw back from the Word, the calling, and the truth of God revealed.
No matter whether the area of truth SEEMS large or small, important or not, salvation-related or not, if God’s Spirit has made the effort to open and reveal and shine light upon it to YOU personally, you CANNOT SAFELY turn your back thereon and continue to expect the blessing of God.
Certainly there is no guarantee that doing so would truly save your family. Worse, even if you stayed together, what will have become of your soul?
We walked through this study together, discussed it together, dealt with a friend who really blew it in his efforts to take another wife, and as we counsel the young lady involved (aka Jewel on the forums) we talk it all over together and agree. I will write more later on the lessons we are learning together from that situation. 
Whether we ever act on this, we are united in every stand we have ever studied in Scripture. My wife trusts me, values my leadership, and loves and understands the Lord more today than ever. Always growing in the Lord, in grace and knowledge, I have to say I am seriously blessed to not have first hand knowledge of this problem. I have, however, seen the other side. :evil: 
Maybe they would like to talk to my wife. She is willing to do that if it would help. May God give us grace, wisdom, and patience to do things in His way and His timing, that He would be glorified.