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Being Vulnerable

RainyLondonFog

RainyLondonFog

Seasoned Member
Real Person
Female
I don't have many friends. And I don't really share a lot with other people. Especially about this forum or anything 'poly' related. It's a tender subject in my heart and I don't feel like I can trust very many people, even the Christians I know. I've met a lot of ladies this last year through my local MOPS, and while I love them, I was a bit shocked and saddened when I gave advice to a lady that she should ask her husband about her concern and then do as he instructs. It was not a popular comment on the thread in our MOPS Facebook group. So I felt like if I can't even give the milk of the Word of reminding about submitting to your husband, how could any of them possibly understand poly? But, I have a friend who opens up to me and tells me about her problems and her marriage issues and was asking me questions on how I do what I do. I ended up telling her about Slumber going to the retreat and that he is open to the idea of poly, but that I do not have my heart moved for it yet. She was so supportive and said she didn't judge either or us, and she wouldn't expose what I told her and it would be kept in confidence. She had questions and I answered them the best I could. It was just such a relief to have a friend in my home that didn't reject me and condemn me for this. She actually said that she could see it Biblically, and said that she knew my desire was to do God's will. She did caution me to be prepared of being rejected by our community but that she would continue to be my friend and visit unless her husband forbids her after Slumber may take another wife. So I was vulnerable to my friend, and prepared to be rejected. But thank you Jesus, it didm't happen. It was very comforting and it was nice to open up to someone and not immediately regret it. She even thanked me for opening up to her, because I usually just listen to her. God is good. I am thankful for her. :)
 
Love this! Yay I’m so happy for you! I pray that this small step in opening up and not being rejected helps to comfort your heart in trusting your husband’s lead in this journey. You may be rejected by some, but honestly, do they really matter if they can’t be there for you through all things anyway!? <3
 
WifeOfHisYouth said:
Love this! Yay I’m so happy for you! I pray that this small step in opening up and not being rejected helps to comfort your heart in trusting your husband’s lead in this journey. You may be rejected by some, but honestly, do they really matter if they can’t be there for you through all things anyway!? <3
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Thank you.

It would hurt my feelings if say I were asked not to attend Mops or all my 'friends' left me. That would be hard. We also talked about how it would be to be say verbally attacked in the grocery store while Slumber is at work. And to be prepared for that kind of a blashlash from the community. But, I'm trying to really work on focusing on today and trusting in whatever plan God has in store. I felt really at peace with talking to my friend this morning. :)
 
Or who knows! They might just become jealous because you have someone there to help you with life ;) let’s be honest, how nice would that really be?!?

OR gosh they may never even know. Kinda likes secret agent sisters ;)
 
Well I wouldn't want to encourage anyone to jealousy lol I'm more talking about the two grumpy old cowboys that may spit at my feet and tell me I'm going to hell.

It couldn't be a secret. Part of the plan would be to be a bright light showing the good that a Christian poly family could bring. But I see the pros on it being a secret lol :)
 
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Oh Sweet Lady,

I'm so happy for you! Seems like you have a treasure of a friend there who will listen and then offer sound counsel. In my lifetime, I've experienced something similar many times but by far, the most profound of them all was the my first Biblical Families retreat in January of 2014. It was the first time we led worship and participated in a worship service where we could be ourselves. Every person in that room knew my beliefs and that we were a practicing plural family and it was the most liberating feeling ever. Over the years, we have lost fellowship with people over our beliefs and our choices on this path of plural marriage but the friends we have made and the quality of those friendships we have made along the way far surpass them. The best friends are the ones who see you and your truth and how you live it and love you because of it (not in spite of it).

From what I've read above and from your husband's kind words about you at last weekend's retreat, I think you are in a good place and my heart rejoices with you in your precious vulnerability and your desire to serve your husband and love on him and the way God leads him.

I hope to meet (and hug) you in person someday but until then, I hope God continues to guide you to places where you can lighten your load and share your beliefs with people who won't heap shame on you because of them.

Thank you for sharing your experience here on the forum. I'm sure it has already encouraged many.

Love and Light,
Ginny
 
Ginny said:
Oh Sweet Lady,

I'm so happy for you! Seems like you have a treasure of a friend there who will listen and then offer sound counsel. In my lifetime, I've experienced something similar many times but by far, the most profound of them all was the my first Biblical Families retreat in January of 2014. It was the first time we led worship and participated in a worship service where we could be ourselves. Every person in that room knew my beliefs and that we were a practicing plural family and it was the most liberating feeling ever. Over the years, we have lost fellowship with people over our beliefs and our choices on this path of plural marriage but the friends we have made and the quality of those friendships we have made along the way far surpass them. The best friends are the ones who see you and your truth and how you live it and love you because of it (not in spite of it).

From what I've read above and from your husband's kind words about you at last weekend's retreat, I think you are in a good place and my heart rejoices with you in your precious vulnerability and your desire to serve your husband and love on him and the way God leads him.

I hope to meet (and hug) you in person someday but until then, I hope God continues to guide you to places where you can lighten your load and share your beliefs with people who won't heap shame on you because of them.

Thank you for sharing your experience here on the forum. I'm sure it has already encouraged many.

Love and Light,
Ginny
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Thank you Ginny, she is definitely a treasure that I am happy to have in my life. And thank you so much for your kind words and encouragement, totally sweetness to my soul like in psalm 16:24 (Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, Sweetness to the soul and health to the bones.) I look forward to meeting all of you someday too. :)

I think I am in a pretty good place right now too. I've been doing the Experiencing God workbook and I feel like it is really touching me that it's God's timing and God who reveals things to his people. I'm okay with not being a hundred percent with it right now, and am okay and comforted that God will work it the way He intends rather than me feeling like this is my fault or my problem that I need to solve. I'm willing to grow, but not going to keep tearing myself down over it. Right now I am content on trying to trust and learn more about my relationship with God and hearing Him. :)
 
Rainy, I so missed you at retreat! I am so proud of you! That was really brave and I am very happy that the Lord gave you such a good experience. May you have many more.
 
@RainyLondonFog, how are you feeling now? Will you be attending the retreat in TN?
When I first joined BF I was really wet behind the ears. I have learned so much here. I have spoken to SOME of my closest friends and family and I have been surprised at their acceptance of my believes. ... Not that I am in a relationship and if I were their feelings might change.

I totally understand your feelings and sometimes I feel very alone, alot of times I feel very alone. Yahweh has a funny since of humor! Many times Yahweh has to get us to a point when we are alone so that we are forced to turn to him. Once we are He can talk and we are more apt to hear Him.
I really hope to meet you in August. I am looking forward to building a network of likeminded friends.
 
Rainy,
You are blessed to have someone close to talk in addition to the friends you meet here. I had a wonderful friend at work I could talk to about my journey daily. She was always there to help me look at problems from a different point of view and helped me not to be so stuck in my view and also cheer things on when things were good. She was so encouraging even though she said she could not be in a PM. She has taken another job elsewhere, but I know God put her there to help me through a rough time. She, like the friends here will support, encourage and can help you look at things another way that may fit better. PM will definitely grow your faith. But isn't that what God wants in all of us?
 
@Patricia C , Feeling better. Sometimes that loneliness strikes where I long to just be another normal sheep in church like all the rest of His flock, but Paul did say he had learned to be content in all and I'm making headway on that. :) Unfortunately I haven't seen that friend since but her family is going through a lot and they're usually a pretty busy family anyway so I hope it's just that and that I haven't completely weirded her out. I don't think so though, it's the norm in our friendship that sometimes we don't see or talk to each other for months.

Unless God moves in a big way for us to go to the retreat we won't be able to. Too many things going on for the rest of the summer but maybe some time we can make it. It would be nice to meet you too, I have enjoyed reading your comments. :)

@BeingHeld, that makes me so happy to hear of your success of having an accepting friend too! Yes I agree it's a blessing! It's so funny how the world is so accepting of all the sinful lifestyles out there and can't get their heads around this. It makes me happy to hear of accepting. I agree that PM will grow ones faith! And yes I think that He does desire that in all of us. :)
 
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