I realized through bible study online with people I met who were deep into the word on this issue that this was God's way of taking care of women and children who needed it. Marriage and family is the way to really be in the church in a fundamental way. God takes care of women and children in families, not through college, carrer advancement, government assistance, or child support although there is nothing wrong with these things in and of themselves. They are just not the way that God set up to meet the needs of people in general. Families, tribes and then church is what God set up. I love this beautiful truth and it is so crystal clear to me. It did take a couple of years of ignoring it before embracing and understanding it completely. I also knew a family I was VERY close to and would think about God's logic of family building when I thought of their relationship to me. In that case the husband had some self control/anger issues that were scary for me and the wife (once my VERY good friend) had some "I will leave instantly if my husband even entertains one thought of this for himself" issues! That was ok because it was for the best.
Just being a single mom and wanting to live a Godly life and have Godly fullfillment despite my past mistakes is what led me to this very logical conclusion. I am a quiet reclusive kind of girl (that helps when I have to be away from husband cause he is busy with other wife and kids) but I love people and I don't mind sharing in general and I love the feeling of belonging to something bigger than myself. In that sense I may be "wired" for it too!
