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East Coast retreat: 5 weeks! Washington DC area, April 1-3

nathan

nathan

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Just FYI for those who didn't see the newsletter on Sunday (check your junk mail or Gmail "Updates" folder - everybody on the forum should have gotten it, unless you let your email account lapse):

We are having our first official retreat in over a year (wow) on April 1st-3rd, near DC. We are right by a major airport, and flights are cheap, so the entire country is welcome, but we especially hope to draw many within driving distance.

Fellowship, prayer, worship, teaching, and support will be in heavy supply. If you are interested, drop an email to retreats@biblicalfamilies.org now. (If you are a 'lurker', please tell us a bit about yourself - you'll understand if we are a little cautious before we give out details.)

Hope to see some new folks along with old friends there.

Blessings, Nathan
 
Re: East Coast retreat: 5 weeks! Washington DC area, April 1

I'm glad to hear that everyone's going to be able to get together. Like everyone else, I'd really like to go. But unless something major changes I'll always just be a "maybe next year" away.
 
Re: East Coast retreat: 5 weeks! Washington DC area, April 1

I'll be in the Washington DC area at the end of April, but unfortunately, I am in Texas during the first of April. Kind of bummed about it. Hoping to make another upcoming retreat though.
 
Re: East Coast retreat: 5 weeks! Washington DC area, April 1

"Our family really wants to thank you for holding something this close to the North East". It is a real blessing for us having to drive from northern New England. Our first retreat should be a real experience; can't wait :-)
 
Re: East Coast retreat: 5 weeks! Washington DC area, April 1

Our family really wants to thank you all for a wonderful retreat!

It has showed us how we all have some of the same core problems, and how we all approach things differently... I know that our small family has strived to do everything together in life, and that this has worked well for us, but still we miss having you all to learn from, and your unique perspectives of faithfulness to Biblical Marriage...

At the end of the retreat a message was given that the dream of a separate community was not yet ready to come to fruition, but we did take it to heart that we still need to support each others burdens, even if we live miles apart!

Here in the north we have begun to start a slow One on One campaign “asking people if they would agree to support true marriage equality”, instead of the partial version that has become law now...

Often they are naively indoctrinated that somehow marriage equality now exists, and I sincerely ask them “if King David were here today, would he be an outlaw in our country, or welcome?”

Most Christians jump to say that King David would be very welcome in their states, towns, churches, and homes, until I read them 2 Sam 12:8 and they begin to realize how big his family really was, and more importantly “who gave him all his wives”!

At this point you have people facing there is in fact No True Marriage Equality, and that we the people are just having the wool pulled over our eyes once more.

So what can we do about this in effectual volume... Our individual family is attempting to rent booth space at our local fair events, to help enlighten the public to marriage injustices, and to slowly open the minds of the voters, for that one hopeful day we publicly stand together!

Here in Maine the stereotypes run deep and stubborn, some of the most difficult in the country to overcome, but never the less my family wants a better future for all of us alike!

How can this effort here in Maine support you all, and tell you that you do matter to us? Simply by offering to back you in your state as well!

If your family becomes lead (like us) to have a public outreach of some type, to raise public awareness as to marriage inequality, we will do our best to come stand beside you! If there is a way to make your lives and your children’s lives easier, count on us to put some shoe leather to Our Gospel!

Please Friends, know that "you truly matter to us, and we will forever be in your debt for such a wonderful family experience"!

Your neighbor from the north, wade
 
Re: East Coast retreat: 5 weeks! Washington DC area, April 1

Dear Biblical Families,

Our husband asked us wives to share something that might bless the community, and the precious families we met this weekend. We’re very thankful for the retreat (April 1st to 3rd), and for meeting everyone there. We all really had a great time 

It was refreshing spending the weekend with like-minded Christians. We learned some really great worship songs, listened to Biblical teaching, and safely enjoyed each other’s company. We were able to relax and be the families God made us!

At the retreat the question was asked, how do you deal with a sister-wife when as a general rule women don’t trust other women? I am still praying about this topic, and am being lead to reply.

So far the fundamental answer The Lord has given me is that “it is a relationship based in a commitment, first to Him, then to each other”.

As a younger woman I prayed for a husband who would love only me, but as a married more mature woman, The Lord changed my mind about other women and how our marriage was set up. Yes, God gave me to a man as a helpmeet and soul-mate, and then after about twelve years of marriage, God let me know that I was not the only one.

So how do I deal with being a sister-wife?
First I pray, a lot. Then I remember the message The Lord had given our husband over ten years ago… “Is what I am doing or about to do, saying or about to say accomplishing the glory of God?”
If the answer is no, I throw out the words and actions that will harm Jesus.

There is no room for the feelings of bitterness or strife in any relationship. When issues arise, we work them out with respect and dignity! Matthew 18:15-17 is the foundation we build on.

Following these Scriptures as closely as we can closes the door to the feelings of bitterness and strife, and gossip and backbiting, and allows us to work out any issue with love, kindness, patience and self-control.

In a recent devotion we read… “A practical help in keeping your personal purity unblemished in your relations with other people, is to begin to see them as God does. Say to yourself, “That man or that woman is perfect in Christ Jesus! That friend or that relative is perfect in Christ Jesus!” And this is how the ladies in our family deal with being sister-wives.

Thank you again so much for a wonderful Biblical retreat!
We look forward to seeing all of you in the future, God Bless and Take Care, my extended family...

Your sister in Christ, trilby
 
Re: East Coast retreat: 5 weeks! Washington DC area, April 1

Thank you Biblical Families for hosting this Virginia retreat! It is such a blessing to our family to meet everyone that was able to attend!

There were several great topics that came up during our time together… but the one that stuck out to me was the topic of learning to “put God as the head”, rather than putting our husband on a pedestal above everyone else.

This struck a personal note with me because in the beginning of our marriage I put my husband’s needs/wants/desires first, before I even considered Jesus. I was about making “the man” happy rather than being a good wife and serving God. Sadly, I even got to the point of thinking that it didn’t matter what my sisters wanted, because “I was doing what my husband wanted”. Needless to say, it was not what God wanted from this marriage. God’s design for marriage is the same for everyone… what He has put together no man shall cast asunder. Jesus literally does not want us to be cast into separate parts, pieces, or places.

As plural families, God wants us to take the “One Flesh” vow seriously. According to what He has shown us, our family is not made up of separate self-sufficient marriages… it is made from the husband & wives who promised to uphold Biblical marriage together.

So, as a wife, it is my duty to make sure that my husband’s needs are met… AND my sister’s needs are met. I can not pick and choose who I want to take care of. I am my brother’s (and sister’s) keeper!

At the retreat we shared one thing that really helped our marriage, which is this simple yet endlessly deep question God gave our husband many years ago;

“Is what I am doing or about to do, saying or about to say, accomplishing the Glory of God?”

We can use this question with each member of our families, to make sure that what we are doing, or how we are treating them, is going to accomplish God’s glory.

I struggled with this at first. It might sound silly, but I would do petty things like jump to offer our husband a drink and get myself one, but make the ladies get their own. Once I started fighting that separate-couple mentality and offered drinks to my sisters as well, I saw that we ladies really could be kind to one another! Instead of taking care of me and MY husband, I have learned to take care of OUR family… even if it started with something as small as serving drinks to everyone; it has had a snow-ball effect and allowed our family to grow in love, respect, honor and obedience to God’s design for marriage.

We are truly grateful for the time spent with other like-minded families this past weekend! It was refreshing to be able to relate to some of the struggles we go through in fighting our own self-centered nature. I know that we are not the only ones with past hurts and battles… I also know that “Time” does not heal wounds, Jesus does… and we CAN overcome anything, knowing that each of our family members are perfect in Christ Jesus.

As a second wife I truly cherish all your support, and pray that I can return the blessing some how.

In Christ’ Sincere Love,
aria
 
Re: East Coast retreat: 5 weeks! Washington DC area, April 1

Greetings Biblical Families! We miss you already...

Thank you so much for all of your faithfulness to put on this retreat; it was quite a blessing to be a part of it!

Being in a place where we were all free to be who God made us, and surrounded with other people that have been made very similarly, was amazing! Seeing other families out there like ours (with similar achievements and struggles) makes it seem like we aren't quite so alone.

One of the questions that I was asked was if I thought I'd have grown in the same ways without being a part of a plural family....The answer? A resounding, “No”...

The things you go through as a part of a plural family are vastly different than a one-to-one family, and nobody's really prepared for such a challenge.

In a non-plural family you have just one husband and one wife to contend with...you only need to know you, your spouse, and your Lord! Once you go plural, with each new wife comes a whole new bag of tricks to learn.

Each time a new member is added you basically have to rework your entire family structure; its starting from scratch every time, because the things that worked with the founding couple don't work once you add a second wife, or a third (in my case)...the “rules” have to adjust and conform to what the Lord is requiring for your life together. This is what I can share as a third wife.

One of the things that we've been working at, that was brought back to the forefront after this weekend, is to not live in the past and hold a record of wrongs.

We've been through a lot as a family (things that, statistically, are known to tear “monogamous” families apart) but, we're still fighting ourselves to stay together.

Each one of us knows that we belong together!!! If we stayed stuck in the past and holding on to the hurts that we caused each other, I would shudder to think of how horrible life would be...

We've learned and grown from our past mistakes and have each chosen to follow Christ instead of our feelings.

I don't know if this will help anybody else, but we like to use the T.H.I.N.K. Method that our husband shared with us many moons ago.

We T.H.I.N.K. Before we speak-

Is this Truthful? Is what I am doing or saying truthful in God's eyes?

Is it Helpful? Is what I am doing or saying truthful and helpful in God's eyes?

Is it Inspiring? Is what I am doing or saying truthful, helpful, and inspiring in God's eyes?

Is it Necessary? Is what I am doing or saying truthful, helpful, inspiring and necessary in God's eyes?

Is it Kind? Is what I am doing or saying truthful, helpful, inspiring, necessary and kind in God's eyes?

The key being, “In God's Eyes”... We need to make sure that we look at everything through God's eyes and with His perspective.

Another thing that has helped our family more recently is realizing that everyone is perfect in Christ. We read a devotion (My Utmost For His Highest by Oswald Chambers- March 26th) that talked about how we need to see others the way Jesus sees them- and that they are perfectly made in Him! It isn't up to us to judge whether or not they are living their life right or not. The truth is; we can only judge ourselves and work out our own salvation with fear and trembling before the Lord.

Remembering, what we do to each other we do to Him, helps keep things in perspective. Every word we say, every thought we think...is linked directly to Christ...and when those words and thoughts are kind and loving He knows that we're His.

Again, we just want to thank you all for the hard work you do for Christ to put these retreats together, and we are looking forward to being a part of more!

In His Love,
amanda
 
Re: East Coast retreat: 5 weeks! Washington DC area, April 1

Wade, it was such a pleasure to finally meet your family. Thank you for making the effort to come to retreat and share your lovely wives with us.

Trilby, Aria, and Amanda- What wonderfully written thoughts. Thank you! I enjoyed and was encouraged by each post. I know the ladies on this site would love to hear more from each of you.

Blessings to your family!
 
Re: East Coast retreat: 5 weeks! Washington DC area, April 1

What she said!

And Wade, I love that you're out mixing it up in your community. Represent! Would you please private message me your email address? I'd like to chat with you a bit more about the work you're doing there.
 
Re: East Coast retreat: 5 weeks! Washington DC area, April 1

We are so sorry for the late response everyone... We will be much more faithful in our electronic communications as soon as we get back to modern civilization again, we promise!

My family and I have been spending most of the last month +, trying to plan and retrofit my brothers new house on cape cod, with grab bars, rails, walkways, and handicap accessories...

After the last tumble, I realized it was just a matter of time before someone seriously gets hurt; and knowing that neither him nor his wife could do the safety upgrading, my family and I nominated ourselves to do the work.

Why an elderly man with M.S. would buy a multi-level house, is beyond my understandings, but I know he loves the area and everything that came with the house... So that is where our heart is until the whole house renovation is completed, but unfortunately internet service is considered a luxury in his home (I have to admit that I am going through technology withdrawals)... What we do for family, is sometimes very life disturbing, but I'm glad for what has been done for me!

Like I tell everyone who usually asks why I am helping, when it appears that there is nothing in it for me, "my Boss is a Jewish Carpenter who paid me over 2000 years ago, and I still have plenty to share with everyone!" :-)

We are sincerely sorry for the late response, God Bless you and your families,
In His Name,
wade
 
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