Most of the time I'm fine with our husband going out and doing things with my sister-wife, or when it's not our night to spend time together. A lot of the time I need a break because our husband has such a huge vision from God that he needs extra help. It's less stress on everyone. I enjoy having someone to help with the kids and having someone to help manage the everyday household items, but recently things have been rough. We own a house that we left almost three hours away and my sister-wife went down south to help with construction. I couldn't go because I have another job besides the business we all own. So I spent 12 days away from my husband during one trip and then he came back for less than a week and then spent 16 days away from him for the second trip.
During those two trips, my husband and sister-wife spent lots of time together and I took care of the kids and helped run the business. So when he came back, less than a week ago, I spent a lot of time (four days) and went on two trips to visit gyms to do Jiu-jitsu. It was great. Then today he takes my sister-wife to a movie, and it rubbed me the wrong way. I felt jealousy creep up and started thinking "well she spent all that time with him this past month. Why does he have to take her out to a movie just because I took two small trips with him out of town?" It's all in my head I know, and it's this idea of fairness I deal with in my head. I know there can't be fairness between the two of us. I have a special needs daughter who needs more attention and can't always be around my husband as much as my sister-wife when he needs someone. I have a second job to support us while we are in this transition phase so my sister-wife is more available.
I still get jealous though and think in my head "well he just spent all this time with her. It's not fair!" I don't want to think this way and I know it's Satan trying to take away my joy and peace that I should have. It took me a couple of years in our marriage to get over the thought of him and her having intimate relations, but now I'm happy they have a healthy happy balanced marriage and it doesn't bother me. I guess I'm venting and just asking for advice or just support. I feel better getting it all out. The last thing I want to do is hold it all in and explode! It's just a trying time and things will be better in the future I know. I love my sister-wife and husband and would not want to be in the marriage alone just being the only wife of my husband. I will keep praying and seeking God for comfort and peace.
During those two trips, my husband and sister-wife spent lots of time together and I took care of the kids and helped run the business. So when he came back, less than a week ago, I spent a lot of time (four days) and went on two trips to visit gyms to do Jiu-jitsu. It was great. Then today he takes my sister-wife to a movie, and it rubbed me the wrong way. I felt jealousy creep up and started thinking "well she spent all that time with him this past month. Why does he have to take her out to a movie just because I took two small trips with him out of town?" It's all in my head I know, and it's this idea of fairness I deal with in my head. I know there can't be fairness between the two of us. I have a special needs daughter who needs more attention and can't always be around my husband as much as my sister-wife when he needs someone. I have a second job to support us while we are in this transition phase so my sister-wife is more available.
I still get jealous though and think in my head "well he just spent all this time with her. It's not fair!" I don't want to think this way and I know it's Satan trying to take away my joy and peace that I should have. It took me a couple of years in our marriage to get over the thought of him and her having intimate relations, but now I'm happy they have a healthy happy balanced marriage and it doesn't bother me. I guess I'm venting and just asking for advice or just support. I feel better getting it all out. The last thing I want to do is hold it all in and explode! It's just a trying time and things will be better in the future I know. I love my sister-wife and husband and would not want to be in the marriage alone just being the only wife of my husband. I will keep praying and seeking God for comfort and peace.
