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Gods calling

Jessie

Jessie

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Real Person*
Female
I'd love some womens perspective on this. More so women that have been exactly where I am. So the question is...
If God actually called my husband to marry more than me after 10 yrs why is it that I cannot easily throw up my hands, submit to it without so many feelings and emotions involved??? When does that part get easier ladies??
If yall only KNEW what basic training I'm putting myself through to be that diamond in the rough, if you will. Pinterest will have a new category after I am done. "DIY submitting wife in training. Totally self taught in 5 weeks or less. After walking through fire, brokeness and whatever other fresh hell comes along to attack you, your mental state through thick callus won't feel a thing ever again and you and your sisterwives and husband will be on a journey of a lifetime!"
Sign me up!!!
 
Jessie said:
why is it that I cannot easily throw up my hands, submit to it without so many feelings and emotions involved???
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Because it's human nature. Not only do we live in a culture where poly is viewed as abusive and unloving but I also think it just goes against human nature. I don't think the women in the OT just rolled with it without any emotions or feelings. It was the norm, but I think human emotions are the norm too. I have a feeling some probably struggled too. Our flesh tends to be the opposite of what love is described as, so even if poly was more normal then, it still rebels against the sin nature living within us.

Jessie said:
"DIY submitting wife in training. Totally self taught in 5 weeks or less. After walking through fire, brokeness and whatever other fresh hell comes along to attack you, your mental state through thick callus won't feel a thing ever again and you and your sisterwives and husband will be on a journey of a lifetime!"
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I don't think there will ever be a "That's it I'm finished. I will no longer be a victim to feelings or emotions because I have transcended them." We are continually being worked on by our Master and at His timing. He is always refining us and will do so until we die. I still have emotions in my marriage with my hubby (had a misunderstanding about disciplining children last night) and was frustrated. So if after 16 years of marriage I can still feel frustration, I think it is reasonable for me to acknowledge that bringing a new wife in will probably stir my emotions too. It's a goal to always be trying to be better, just expect to still be working on that goal until He takes you home. It will get easier. How long has it been since it's become a serious topic for you guys? I'm on about year 4 of it becoming a reality in my life. And it's gotten easier. :)
 
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If you expect to reach a point where this is not a struggle—you need to readjust your expectations.
My husband and SW have been married almost three years and I STILL deal with emotions.
Granted, if you were to pull back and see it now compared to what it WAS—then, sure, I’ve come a long way.
But, there is never a day where I don’t have to at least check myself and my emotions.
With that said, I offer you encouragement that it DOES get easier.
There will be actual moments where you’re—dare I say it—enjoying the blessings (ask @WifeOfHisYouth how long it took me to admit there actually WERE any of those) that comes with poly.
Follow God, follow your husband, study the word, grab a friend or two to help you when you just need someone ELSE to tell you you’re a selfish woman, and realize that there’s no use wasting what precious moments you have on things you can’t control. :) ;)
 
RainyLondonFog said:
How long has it been since it's become a serious topic for you guys? I'm on about year 4 of it becoming a reality in my life. And it's gotten easier. :)
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We have been talking about it for 2 yrs. But SERIOUSLY since the beginning of this year. I already feel like it's getting better teeny tiny baby steps at a time. I get over stuff a lot quicker too. Work in progress but I will get there.
 
Jessie said:
We have been talking about it for 2 yrs. But SERIOUSLY since the beginning of this year. I already feel like it's getting better teeny tiny baby steps at a time. I get over stuff a lot quicker too. Work in progress but I will get there.
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Getting over stuff quickly is a blessing! It can be a process, but a willing heart is much of the battle I think! You're doing great!
 
I’m going on year 4 (I think) of knowing about plural and that it’s something my husband wants. Just when I feel like I’m getting better with things, something or someone enters the picture and it’s a whole new area of digging deeper and working through more things I thought I was ok with. It will continue to grow you and make you learn more about your wicked heart. I never realized all the junk I had to face until this. There are lots of us that can relate and understand the deepest feelings you feel.
 
And yes, there comes a point when the blessings and benefits start to outweigh the negatives and insecurities but only when you let your mindset shift.
 
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