Hi Pastor Steve,
Like you, I struggled with this question, and more often than not relied on the traditions of men as to the interpretation of key verses for qualification for those in leadership in the church. I came to terms with these through intense study, fellowship and communication with other 'Berean' believers, and a strong witness of the Holy Spirit.
So let's get started....
1. "It appears that Pastors cannot have more than one wife"
Where in the New Testament are the qualifications for "Pastor" given? Not trying to be nit-picky, but often when we quote pastoral qualifications, we are actually using those for Bishop or Deacon. In Ephesians 4, the calling of 'Pastor' is listed alongside those of Apostle, Prophet, Evangelist, and Teacher. However, no where does it list the qualifications of ANY of those callings, except for the recognition by a body of believers to that calling.
Can one be a Pastor without being a Bishop or a Deacon? Sure.
But, I know having been a pastor for more than 12 years myself, that is NOT what you were asking....
2. "Paul wrote that Overseers must be "the husband of one wife."
If by the term Overseer you mean Bishop, then let's list ALL the qualifications:
1 TIM 3................................TITUS 1 (Appointed, NOT elected.....hmmm)
Blameless.................................Blameless
The husband of a/one wife............The husband of a/one wife
Vigilant...................................Just, holy
Sober......................................Sober
Good behavior............................Good behavior (a lover of good men)
Given to hospitality......................Given to hospitality
Teachable
He can drink, just not too much........He can drink, just not too much
Not a fighter or a bully...................Not a fighter or a bully
Not obsessed with money................Not obsessed with money
Patient......................................Patient (not soon angry), temperate
Satisfied with what he has
Manages his household well..............Manages his household well
The father of more than one child......The father of more than one child
Well behaved children.....................Well behaved children
Experienced in faith........................Experienced in faith (holding fast the faithful Word)
A good report from those in the world
Pastor Steve, do you think that Paul was issuing a checklist of qualifications for the office of Bishop, or was he giving guidelines to the church as to the CHARACTER of those who hold that office? For instance, according to this list, ALL bishops must not only be MARRIED, but they also must be FATHERS, and they must also have MORE THAN ONE CHILD. If that is the case, then perhaps Paul disqualified himself, not to mention JESUS!
. (Sidebar: just to stir us some extra trouble, according to these passages, ONLY MEN can serve in positions of leadership)
Are we equating the five-fold ministry gifts (Apostle, Prophet, Evangelist, Pastor, Teacher) with the qualifications of 'Overseer'? If we are, then let us recall every missionary/apostle who is single or widowed or childless. Let us ask to step from the pulpit every pastor with only one child, because they do not qualify. Let us also ask for the resignation of every Sunday School teacher or Bible study leader who is unmarried, or has no kids. If we are going to hold to one portion of this passage (husband of one wife), then you have to hold to ALL OF IT. My Dad used to say, "If you are in for a penny, you are in for a pound."
But....once again, I KNNOOOWWW that is not what you are asking....you are asking this:
3. The husband of ONE wife
First of all, all three passages relating to 'qualifications' (1 Tim 3:2, 1 Tim 3:12 and Titus 1:6) seem to be placing an emphasis on the bishop/deacon being a husband and a father, and not a specified numeral setting of the word ONE (mia in the Greek).
Second, to see how the word is used here, it is a good idea to see how it is used elsewhere. In this case, the word MIA is used as: "a", "any", "other", "certain", "one of two or more", or "first", as well as "one" both singular (as in 'one day') or plural (as in 'one flock'). What is of particular note about the word MIA is its ability to denote both singular and plural nouns.
There is a much better, more commonly used word for a singular 'one' in the New Testament, and that is the word HEIS. It means ONE and ONLY ONE. In fact, Paul commonly uses the word HEIS all over the place, yet in these three particular passages he uses a differing word....the question is, therefore, WHY? Paul could have saved us all a lot of trouble here just by using a different word that meant ONE AND ONLY ONE.
But, Paul was a master craftsman of the text. He always says what he means to say, and the Greek language can be a very unique tool at getting a particular point across. So, let's use the differing meanings of MIA to determine what Paul was saying:
The husband of A/ANY/OTHER/CERTAIN/ONE wife: redundant-we already know that a husband has a wife.
The husband of ONE OF TWO OR MORE/ONE (PLURAL) wife: does not work. wife is SINGULAR here in the Greek.
The husband of a FIRST wife: means that the man is married, to how many we don't know, but he is for SURE married to his FIRST wife (he therefore cannot be divorced OR WIDOWED from his first wife).
So we have come down to two possible definitions. Either Paul was saying you had to be married to ONE (numeric) wife, or still married to your FIRST (wife).
No where in either the Old or the New Testament is plural marriage condemned by God, the prophets, Jesus, the Apostles, etc. Now suddenly we have what appears to be a restriction on plural marriage....or is it?
Let us think back to the passages. Each of them outlines CHARACTER traits of that potential leader. So let's ask a character question. Who would you rather have in a ministry position:
a man married to more than one wife, but still to his first wife, who manages his household well?
a man who is divorced from his first wife?
Throughout the New Testament, divorce and all its implications is condemned again and again. No where, no where, not one place at all, is plural marriage condemned.
Therefore, it is my humble opinion that Paul was not addressing the question of polygyny is these qualification passages, but the question of DIVORCE. It fits right in line with the rest of passage, especially as it relates to the question of 'managing his household well.'
Once again, I would like to just say that in my heart and spirit I do not believe that Paul was writing out a list of 'must haves' for these offices. If that were the case, there would be no room for forgiveness or repentance. Instead, I believe that Paul was simply giving some guidelines as to the general character of leaders. And that, my dear brother, fits into the awesome character of a merciful, forgiving Father who desires us to pursue Him with passion!
I am sure that you will have plenty more responses, but Pastor to Pastor, I just wanted to get in first!
Blessings,
