Listenerofgod88
New Member
Does anyone have any advice on how to be a second wife when the first one isn't to happy about it?
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How do you deal with being a second wife?
- Thread starter Listenerofgod88
- Start date
My first advice would be to try to put yourself in her place. Try to understand what she is feeling. I don't know your situation but the reality is that most women feel jealousy and feel like they are being replaced until they come to a full understanding of the truth. Your husband has a great deal of responsibility here. Really, it is his responsibility to share the truth with her, both about polygamy and the biblical truth and also about his relationship with her. She needs to feel loved and wanted. She needs to feel like she isn't losing a husband but is gaining a sister.
I would advise you to try to become friends with her. Be steady and available to her. Help her out with things that she needs or wants help with. Give her a reason to want you around. Even if she doesn't need you or like the idea of you, she may come to respect you for who you are and relationships can be built. Be unfailingy polite to her. Make sure that you have the right motives. Make sure that you are reflecting your desire to be part of something bigger, not take him away from her.
Relationships take time to build. Let yours build. Make sure that you guys spend time together as a family. Maybe even go on a few girls nights out to get better acquainted with each other. It may be that she truly is a best friend in the making. And it may be that you are too. You need to give each other time to adjust to each other. Polygamy in theory is hard. In real life, when you combine different personalities, it can be even more challenging.
Remember that she has spent years (maybe a lot) dealing with him. She may feel like you get treated better than she does because she doesn't understand that your relationship is different than hers.
I wish you patience and love.
Lissa
I would advise you to try to become friends with her. Be steady and available to her. Help her out with things that she needs or wants help with. Give her a reason to want you around. Even if she doesn't need you or like the idea of you, she may come to respect you for who you are and relationships can be built. Be unfailingy polite to her. Make sure that you have the right motives. Make sure that you are reflecting your desire to be part of something bigger, not take him away from her.
Relationships take time to build. Let yours build. Make sure that you guys spend time together as a family. Maybe even go on a few girls nights out to get better acquainted with each other. It may be that she truly is a best friend in the making. And it may be that you are too. You need to give each other time to adjust to each other. Polygamy in theory is hard. In real life, when you combine different personalities, it can be even more challenging.
Remember that she has spent years (maybe a lot) dealing with him. She may feel like you get treated better than she does because she doesn't understand that your relationship is different than hers.
I wish you patience and love.
Lissa