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in need of a mentor

irishprincess09

irishprincess09

New Member
You know the saying about how if you want to hear God laugh, tell Him your plans? Well, I have concluded that I must provide some serious entertainment for Him. :mrgreen: After my "intro" into PM and all my struggles that followed..I concluded that this was not for us and never would be. I declared this a lot actually. But every time I did, within a few days, I would find myself praying about it and feeling the need to continue preparing myself and my heart for this journey ahead of me.
Last week, through a series of events that now seem providential, I met a woman who is seeking to be a SW. We have hit it off very well and have had a great time getting to know one another. Given my past experience with all of this, I am taking extra cautions along the way to not let my guard down to fast or rush anything. Hubby and I have been praying about this and truly feel that God is leading us toward building a relationship with her that will result in her being my SW. Which brings me here. I am looking for other women that I can join with about this for prayer and wise council. I am looking for mentors. I very much would like to talk to other FW's about their experiences in a PM, what brought them here, what they have learned, what advice they wish they had been given, etc. I would also like to talk with second wives, third wives, etc so that I can have an understanding of what things are like from their point of view also. I think that getting to know women from both perspectives will help me to better understand my sister wife (to be) as well as myself and give everyone the best start to this relationship possible. I have always loved the support and encouragement that I found here and am looking forward to growing more in the journey ahead of me with the fellowship of the women that I have met here along the way.
 
I am a first wife and would be honored to answer any questions you may have. I can give you lots of excellent advice on what NOT to do, as I have plenty of experience in that!

Katie
 
IP,

I am a champion of your desire to reach out to women who have been successful in their marriages. It shows wisdom and growth, and you go, girl!

I think, though, that there is something that you need to remember about relationships. Problems in them always stem from fear, pride, insecurity and jealousy, and those can show up in all kinds of ways, Husband to baby, mother to daughter, etc etc. We are just plain fallen and in great need of great grace!

Soooo, my point is, God promises wisdom to those who ask, and will give it liberally, so start askin', and remember that there is no temptation that overtakes you that isn't COMMON to man, and He will give you a way of escape.

I'm proud of you for getting back in the ring.
 
Firstwife here too, with plenty on what not to do ;) The first year and half was the hardest for me, although I didn't have any time ahead of time to prepare mentally, so a lot of that probably took longer than it needed to. We're 3 years or so in, and I still struggle, though not nearly as much as I did before. Now it's more logistical aspects of having to actually live with someone else. If anything, she is doing worse now than I am, but a lot of that is her own immaturity.

The more you and her are able to communicate about things in general, specifically basic logistical things, as well as just being able to relate to eachother, the better.

I can't believe I'm actually saying this, but there are some days that I wish hubby would find another sisterwife who is more compatible with me, because the sisterwife I have now is not on the same page about most things with me. And she's young so that makes it tricky. And trust me, that's a looooong way from where I was a few years ago ;)
 
First off, thank you all for your words of wisdom so far. :) Thank you Ali for your support and encouragement. I fought the idea of getting back in the ring pretty hard to be honest.. lol I have heard people talk before about how they tried to avoid something that God had put in their path, but in the end had to submit. Now I know what they were talking about. :mrgreen: But anywho... I just wanted to pop in and say thanks to everyone. I will message each of you privately with my e mail address so that we can chat more personally. I really look forward to getting to know each of you better.
 
Hi!

I was just reading this thread, and I'm really interested in hearing from you about life with a sister wife from a first wife's point of view. My husband and I are currently considering and praying about plural marriage for our family, although we are just barely getting started with it. We are no strangers to having God in our lives, as we were both raised in the church. I'm just trying to grasp the concept of a plural marriage. Any insight or do's/don'ts anybody might have would be welcome!

p.s. I'm also going to join the ladies chat tonight :)
 
IP you and I have had similar experiences with Plural Marriage.

I am a strong proponent of mentors among sister wife groups. First wives helping other first wives and so forth..

I also support a "training camp" if you will for single women who desire to be a sister wife by joining an established marriage.
I think it would help women know more about the lifestyle about what to expect from a sw or a family in general.
Teaching communication skills, basic homemaking skills (for those who don't have them), basic budgeting skills and basic child care.

I hope that as a group we can put something together to help our community build healthy happy marriages!
 
I think all marriages could use that type of support :) So little of it is taught or passed down anymore. I didn't know how to budget, plan meals, clean house, etc. when I got married. Now adding another person into the mix who is 10 years younger, and even less experienced than I was, it's making things difficult. (her somewhat antisocial nature doesn't help either sometimes). It's frustrating for me, because I am a social person, but thanks to the women who raised me (mom and grandma), I also have a tendency to want to be in control to a certain degree, sometimes without realizing it.

When I got into this too, I didn't really have any support of anyone I could talk to, I still haven't told my family, but they live in another state thankfully :)

At this point though, I could easily mentor someone on home keeping skills, cooking, etc. And raising kids. 7 kids and I've got a decent idea of what's going on ;) Well, most days. Considering they're all boys, and I never had siblings... it gets interesting to say the least :)
 
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