General Let's talk Submission!

[Bria]

I put this as a ladies only thread simply because our role is different from a man's role in the household and every man seems to lead their house differently and I want this to be directed to the ladies since I am curious about their biblical findings, beliefs, challenges, and maybe advice for other ladies searching for answers!

I recently have seen the word "Biblical Submission" be tossed around by many women lately and I am on a similar journey to understanding God's design for us as wife's future/current. It is just so exciting to me that other people are wanting to dive into the truth around it! I was feeling kind of hopeless within the Church since biblical submission or just submission in general is becoming "taboo, shameful, and oppressive" to talk about let alone practice. Which from my own experience is just down right lies. Although leaning on God to change my understanding around the worldly opinions of what the women's role should be, to what God designed the role of a woman to be has been challenging but I will say the further down the path I get the more freeing and simple it is.

So let's chat!

What are some of your favorite go to verses?

What was the hardest or easiest thing for you to do when it came to the concept of Submission?

Where you born and raised around it?

Advice for those who are just starting out on this path?

What are your general feelings and findings around it?

Anything else you would like to add??

Thanks for reading!

 

[CatieF]

I’m so glad you started this thread!

My momma always respected my dad (he’s a very steady, easy to please man) and so did all of us kids. We didn’t have a problem submitting to his authority. When I got married, for some reason I thought I wouldn’t have to give my husband the same kind of respect (and obedience!) I gave my daddy (I actually told him multiple times in our first year/years of marriage that he wasn’t my daddy. Yikes!). I still thought of him as the head of the family and that he had the last say but, my heart wasn’t TRULY submissive. I still had that stubborn streak. In the last year, Nick started a study on biblical marriage and the role of husbands and wives. And boy has he taught me a lot! Lol! In the beginning, I was so scared that being submitted to my husband the way the Bible says to be was going to turn me into this docile, weak, skittish, oppressed woman (like you said, those are lies from the devil!) but, instead it has transformed our marriage. My husband is always looking at me with admiration and treating me with gentleness. I feel truly cherished... I just thought I was cherished before! We’re both happier and less stressed. It’s freeing!

There’s been a major heart change for me and I now see how much feminism had effected my thoughts and actions. Even though I would obey my husband when he said “don’t go to town today” without question, I’d still raise an eyebrow if he said we weren’t doing something or he suggested I do something different in “my domain”. Submissive heart? I don’t think so. Now I say “okay” with a smile on my face and and true (most of the time... I still struggle as we humans do) submission in my heart. I am in no way saying this has been easy (it’s been VERY difficult character growth) but the reward has been AMAZING.

My go to verses on submission are-

“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the savior of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be subject to their own husbands in every thing.” Ephesians 5:22-24

“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.” Colossians 3:18 (side note, later in the chapter Paul tells us “whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men; knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ.”)

“Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; while they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; but let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God a great price. For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: even as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.” 1 Peter 3:1-6

 

[Bria]

I realized I never answered this about myself haha so I will do that now!

For those who don't know, I am a first wife and I didn't realize just how much I was brainwashed about the concept of what a woman should be like in this modern day world. I was lucky enough to have gotten close to a couple of families that displayed a version of biblical submission when I was a teenager and it seemed attractive to me so I thought I was already there since I wanted it, and thought since I enjoyed the concept I must have figured out how to be a submissive wife. My now husband and I talked about gender roles on our second date and everything seemed to line up and it all sounded good until after we got married. Now, in hindsight I didn't realize how much trauma I had until recently but it was crazy how I thought I held the golden answer to biblical submission simply because I desired it but obviously that is not how it works!

So fast forward 5 years of marriage, bible studies, prayer, raising children, and general conviction I thought I finally had a good understanding of it. How ever there was still tension in my marriage I expected him to do things for me and the way I wanted it done and I was disappointed when it didn't happen and vice versa, he kept telling me that "submission isn't doing something because you agree to it but doing something even if you don't agree to it with a good heart" and boy did I struggle with that concept! I would get upset when I would do something for him and I was like "I am submitting to you why aren't you happy!?!" all the while bitterness lived in my heart, along with contempt, and frustration for not being applauded for being "submissive". Whoops! I am thankful my husband is such a patient, loving man and still walked alongside me through all of this! Those growing pains though helped me and helped us to learn more about submission and what it shouldn't feel like or look like which I guess even though it was hard I am thankful for that.

Fast forward 2 more years after doing some intense therapy and realizing I grew up in the worst possible scenario and a very Godless view of life, love, and submission still lived with me and haunted me because of that. When I began working through all of that it allowed God to expose the lies and pour truth into me. As I prayed God would give me more guidance and wisdom around submission he followed through and lead me to share various verses and articles to my husband some that we actually found on here and some that I have held onto since I first dove into "What is Biblical Submission" which I think is leading me/us to the next chapter of our lives. Giving up control of my husband and actually respecting and submitting to his authority.

The last 9 months or so when the concept of plural and the realness of plural came into our lives really opened up my eyes and his eyes to God's design for a man and a woman/women in a household. I think the craziest adjustment to plural is letting go of the control over my husband I didn't know I *thought* I had and wanted. That lovely verse (Gen 3:16) around how women will desire to control/rule over their husband kept repeating in my head and it took me a while to understand that I was living like that.

Considering plural has exposed the selfishness I had towards my husband that was hiding in my heart and how much I had my talons wrapped around my husband which was not my intention, I didn't realize I was doing this and I have apologized to my husband over and over whenever I see myself mess up. It is just crazy though how in 10 years God has transformed my understanding of the way the world tries to twist and pervert submission and other *small* things that God designed for good in such quiet ways. The women I had learned about biblical submission from some of them did not have a kind, gentle heart, and you could see that there was bitterness behind it and most of them fell apart as time tested their marriage. Bitterness is what I had and I am still working through but learning about the other side of it has amazed me by how freeing releasing my path to my God and my husband is. Sometimes it is terrifying because I am still used to feeling like I am in "control" and that I need to be in control but alas I am not and I don't need to be, for I have two incredible protectors fighting for me and along side me.
It is so surreal to see me write these words, I never thought my journey would bring me here today and I am looking forward to experience the peace and joy God has in store for my family (we don't bicker as much and it is easier for me to just come along side him, he also has found himself finding me attractive when I have a submissive heart).

I am still figuring this all out honestly but I can say so far the freedom in submission God has been revealing to me has created more peace in my heart and helping me to seek and learn how to love and respect my husband no matter what and be at peace (mostly lol I am still a bit nervous) and submit to the possibility that he may bring home another woman someday. I do not want to be a foolish wife, I do not want to tear down my household but rather build it up.

My favorite go to verses are pretty much the same!

 

[Bria]

My husband is always looking at me with admiration and treating me with gentleness

So beautiful!

 

[primrose]

Great questions Bria!

What are some of your favorite go to verses?

Pretty much the same. Particularly Colossians 3:18. Been helpful for me in keeping my respect and obedience in check when I’m just not feeling it

What was the hardest or easiest thing for you to do when it came to the concept of Submission?

Submission was difficult to put into action for me. In my mind, it made perfect sense. In consistent application, I struggled a lot. What helped was even though I kept messing up, once my mind was right, it was easier to see when I messed up, how I messed up and what I should’ve done whereas before I was blind to how wrong my habits were. I’m still working on it daily. The biggest one is understanding that my idea might be better but remaining quiet allows him the opportunities to fine tune his leadership on his own, try different ideas, and experience fulfillment in the process. Similar to what was mentioned, it’s in the moments where my views differ that I get the best chances to practice submission with a positive attitude. I typically have an opinion on everything and I can be feisty lol but at home, I work hard to submit and keep trusting in the Lord. It gets easier once I saw how much better and close our marriage became, and how content I felt.

Where you born and raised around it?

Not in my home growing up. And in reflection, I could see how that caused strife in my parent’s marriage. It was not directly spelled out but I got the impression that the ladies took over a lot in my childhood home and extended family. My decision to change came from my own desire to do things differently. It’s important to me that the man I love is happy and uplifted. God really started a work in me years back and I’m honestly loving it. At my church, I started to learn more about submission to God and hospitality toward others. From there, it was in my own devotions with the Lord where I really began to see things different

What are your general feelings and findings around it?

I pray more wives understood the importance of submission to their husbands. I didn’t think I was doing much harm in certain situations; even thought I was helping to protect the bottom line and helping us as a team succeed. But I wasn’t. What I was doing was ripping away from him moments of confidence from success or encouragement from mishaps to build upon that never happened because I either jumped in with suggestions/solutions or argued my point through stubbornness and/or exhaustion. Those things don’t foster a strong marriage, it creates distance- the opposite of what I wanted. So I asked God to help me become better. Submission, for me, also included asking about and understanding his vision/aim/desires so I’m on the same page as him; and keeping those in mind when I do things day-to-day at home or around town. That was a big one for me to learn and one I really enjoy because I appreciate him more and more; understanding what he’s aiming to accomplish in the big picture and how thoughtful he is of our family; what an awesome provider and protector he is and how wise he is. My general feeling has been that we’ve accomplished so much more as I’ve submitted to my husband and rose up to the biblical role I was meant to have. I’m very grateful of how patient my husband was all the years prior.

 

[MeganC]

@Bria

Thank you for posting this! I love challenging questions because they make me think about things I sometimes never consider.

What are some of your favorite go to verses?

I don't actually have any for this topic. Mostly because I wasn't really a Christian when I joined my family. I confess to being more of a Doubting Thomas because faith for me came after I started living a Christian life and after I learned my place in my family and with my husband. It was only after I understood the proof of how living a Christian life improved my life that my heart opened to faith. I don't think I'm capable of feeling the sort of awestruck faith that some people demonstrate and the personality analysis I did on here kind of speaks to that. I relate more to the Centurion when it comes to my faith because I see that God and Jesus shared their wisdom with us and if we follow their wisdom our lives improve. They said it and for me their wisdom proves to be true.

For me faith is more like certainty. I know that God and Jesus are real because their mercy and grace led me to the right choices in life when it would have been so easy to choose the wrong things. And then they led someone who was indifferent to them to happiness and joy before I really understood their Word.

What was the hardest or easiest thing for you to do when it came to the concept of Submission?

Submitting to my husband on our wedding night. There was a lot for me to get over and deal with and then I made a promise to Steve. When it came time to fulfill my promise I was torn between my fears and my desires. It's probably the single most important choice I've ever made to submit to him because all of my choices after that were rooted in that moment. Before my wedding day/night I could have joined the Navy, hitchhiked to Maine, got a job somewhere, partied on Friday nights, and all that. Afterwards my choices were far more domestic.

Where you born and raised around it?

No, my parents were typical Christmas and Easter church goers. I won't even say 'Christian' because they never said much about faith around the house.

Advice for those who are just starting out on this path?

Commit to skipping birth control. Yes, I know that's huge and unless there is a medical reason not to do this then yes, you can do this. You really have no idea how to submit to your husband until you're having his baby and you've surrendered all of your options in life to be his wife and to be the mother of his children. I do not mean to criticize anyone who chooses otherwise, but submission to your husband also includes submitting to God's plan for you as a woman.

And God blessed them. And God said to them, ‘Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth’” - Genesis 1:28

Be fruitful and multiply. It's hard to submit to this commandment in the modern day but doing so can prepare your heart to submit to your husband because when you have a baby you depend on your husband. And God willing you have been blessed with a man who will rise to the moment and be the Godly man you can depend upon in all things.

And see, that's the other side of a woman submitting to her man is that he must first be a man worthy of her devotion and trust. I didn't have any Scripture guiding me when I joined my family, married my husband, and submitted to him. What I did have was my sister Christie telling me how her life had been transformed by marrying Steve, I saw the evidence of his leadership in his children, and I chose to submit to him.

Which is why I often rail when some men complain that their wives won't submit to them and then they cite Scripture to justify their demand that their wife/wives be made to submit. My constant response to them is that if they wish to be treated as a man then they must first be a man.

This is where I go back to the wisdom of God and Jesus:

When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. - 1 Corinthians 13:11

When I became a man. That's the key here is that for a woman to truly submit to a man then he must first be a man.

Does his family come before his own needs or wants?
Do his wives want for needed things while he wears nice clothes, drives the latest pickup truck, knows way too much about Polaris vehicles, and etc?
Does he lead the family by his own example?

For me with Steve when I married him I had tons of doubts about myself. I worried what he was going to be like as a husband. But I've never doubted him as a man and that inspired me to trust him and to submit to him in all things. So when I say that if a man wants his wife/wives and children to submit to him then he needs to be a man and the submission will happen on its own.

My advice to men who can't get their family to submit to them is to first go find a mirror. Then go to Scripture and learn what you should do to inspire your family to see you as their trusted leader. Be the man. Focus on being a man. Don't worry what the women think, be the best man you can be. We will see it and we will respond to manly leadership just as God ordained.

What are your general feelings and findings around it?

It is one of the great paradoxes of life that when a woman truly submits to God and to her husband that she can attain riches she never imagined she could have. To build on what I wrote earlier I can say that submitting to my husband on my wedding night directly led to going to Costco a week ago and seeing our children behaving themselves as proper young people, being polite, and then me being proud because our oldest boy put the shopping carts away and he treated those carts with respect, not smashing them into one another like so many people do. I know that sounds small but that little moment that made me proud would have never happened unless I had first submitted to my husband.

Anything else you would like to add??

Be the woman. Just like I tell the men to be the man we need to be the woman. That means putting his needs and desires ahead of our own. It means being there for him even if we're not really in the mood. Take care of the house and the children he trusts you to take care of. Do things for him that he might not notice but that would distract him if he had to do them, like ironing his shirts, cleaning his muddy workboots when he's too tired to hose them off, surprising him with new workboots when he's working too much to take time off to buy new ones, put his concerns ahead of your own.

Because when you submit to your deserving and righteous man then he has a wife who he sees as precious. The rewards come back to you.

I know Jesus never said 'Trust me and test me in this' but I'll say it as someone who struggled with submission. Test God by submitting to your husband even when you don't want to (it's easy to do it when we want to) and see if He doesn't bless you with rewards you never imagined.

 

[Mrs.HisPossession]

I put this as a ladies only thread simply because our role is different from a man's role in the household and every man seems to lead their house differently and I want this to be directed to the ladies since I am curious about their biblical findings, beliefs, challenges, and maybe advice for other ladies searching for answers!

I recently have seen the word "Biblical Submission" be tossed around by many women lately and I am on a similar journey to understanding God's design for us as wife's future/current. It is just so exciting to me that other people are wanting to dive into the truth around it! I was feeling kind of hopeless within the Church since biblical submission or just submission in general is becoming "taboo, shameful, and oppressive" to talk about let alone practice. Which from my own experience is just down right lies. Although leaning on God to change my understanding around the worldly opinions of what the women's role should be, to what God designed the role of a woman to be has been challenging but I will say the further down the path I get the more freeing and simple it is.

So let's chat!

What are some of your favorite go to verses?

What was the hardest or easiest thing for you to do when it came to the concept of Submission?

Where you born and raised around it?

Advice for those who are just starting out on this path?

What are your general feelings and findings around it?

Anything else you would like to add??

Thanks for reading!

I love this post!

My favorite verse
“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the savior of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be subject to their own husbands in every thing.” Ephesians 5:22-24

The hardest thing is doing it in front of others without fear or embarrassment. Like calling my husband master or lord in front of worldly women or Christian women who are not for biblical submission- but enjoy christian submission where all parties are equal. Easiest thing was to learn that my husband was my lord. It took so much pressure off of me to know and do everything because I only had to submit to him.

I was not born around it and I saw very little examples. However, I am a first generation American in my family so I did witness submissive women in other cultures.

Advice: Surround yourselves with women who are like minded such as this platform. There's also a group of women who fellowship on Whats App. I may put up a post to let women who want to join it get the information for it.

My feelings are I love submission. I would hope all women to be this way because it is the best way to be.

I would like to add that the most beautiful thing in the world for a woman is to be submissive!

 

[Bria]

What are some of your favorite go to verses?

I don't actually have any for this topic. Mostly because I wasn't really a Christian when I joined my family. I confess to being more of a Doubting Thomas because faith for me came after I started living a Christian life and after I learned my place in my family and with my husband. It was only after I understood the proof of how living a Christian life improved my life that my heart opened to faith. I don't think I'm capable of feeling the sort of awestruck faith that some people demonstrate and the personality analysis I did on here kind of speaks to that. I relate more to the Centurion when it comes to my faith because I see that God and Jesus shared their wisdom with us and if we follow their wisdom our lives improve. They said it and for me their wisdom proves to be true.

For me faith is more like certainty. I know that God and Jesus are real because their mercy and grace led me to the right choices in life when it would have been so easy to choose the wrong things. And then they led someone who was indifferent to them to happiness and joy before I really understood their Word.

I love how you worded this. So incredible how the same God loves us all just the way we need and it shows up differently for everyone!

And God blessed them. And God said to them, ‘Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth’” - Genesis 1:28

Be fruitful and multiply. It's hard to submit to this commandment in the modern day but doing so can prepare your heart to submit to your husband because when you have a baby you depend on your husband. And God willing you have been blessed with a man who will rise to the moment and be the Godly man you can depend upon in all things.

Amen!

My constant response to them is that if they wish to be treated as a man then they must first be a man.

Such a simple yet powerful phrase! I love the way my husband talks to me about submission, calm, collected, and encouraging me through it all. Studying the word together, sharpening each other and praying together so God can help us understand His true idea of a man and a woman's relationship. Submission from my understanding and experience is to be freeing not to be forced by man but it is an intimate relationship with Christ, and I have found that if I align my heart with Christ it is much easier to follow my husband.

That means putting his needs and desires ahead of our own.

In my recent prayer time when I was struggling with letting go of something I was reminded this, along with 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 and yes this is a really good thing to remember and act on daily. It is definitely hard sometimes though

Because when you submit to your deserving and righteous man then he has a wife who he sees as precious. The rewards come back to you.

I think 1 Peter 3:3-5 really hits it on the head!

Thank you for sharing all of this!!

 

[Mrs.HisPossession]

1 Peter 3:4 says we must submit even if our husband is not obeying the Word. You can't wait until he is a righteous man to submit to him. We must do this regardless...

 

[MeganC]

1 Peter 3:4 says we must submit even if our husband is not obeying the Word. You can't wait until he is a righteous man to submit to him. We must do this regardless...

True. But we also have the choice not to marry such a man in the first place. Nor should we.

2 Corinthians 6:14-18

Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? What accord has Christ with Belial? Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever? What agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are the temple of the living God; as God said, “I will make my dwelling among them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. Therefore go out from their midst, and be separate from them, says the Lord, and touch no unclean thing; then I will welcome you, and I will be a father to you, and you shall be sons and daughters to me, says the Lord Almighty.”

 

[Mrs.HisPossession]

True what you said as well. However, just like you were also a new convert 'after' meeting and marrying your husband, some women marry men who are not in the faith but want to learn- or - some women come into the faith before their husband does. Some people take years to perfect their walk with TMH and in that case, a husband may not be great leader right away, but may become one with time as Yah works on changing his heart. Just like what happened with you Which is beautiful.

 

[Leslie Pease]

I've been wanting to weigh in on this page for a few weeks now but I figured I should probably relook at the scriptures and pray and talk to my husband before I shared my understandings of it. So here it is..

Biblical Submission
This is what God has taught me about submission so far, (I say so far because I think I will keep on learning how to be a better and submissive wife till the day I die). This is the kind of stuff though that makes the women in the American Church cringe when they hear it. Women worry about how they will be treated if they submit to their husband like scripture says, but I propose.. What if you just obey God and let Him be your protector? What if you just have faith in Him and His plan for marriage whether or not your husband is a good bible following man(1 Peter 3:1), (1 Peter 4:19)&(1 Peter 5:6-7)?

I approach being a wife from the perspective of how I teach my children. You can only control your actions..you can't force your husband to be a biblical man, whether he is or he isn't. You can't make him do something anymore than my child can make a kid on the playground be nice to him. What you can do is focus on yourself and who God wants YOU to be.. Which is being the best wife that you can be for your husband. Whether he's a believer or an unbeliever..whether he's nice or harsh.. In the end.. we aren't living for ourselves right? No, we are living to please our heavenly master and that means doing what He says. YOU are responsible for your obedience to God. God says that those who love Him keep His commandments(1 John 5:3). Do you believe the scripture that says "all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose"(Romans 8:28)? So do you love God? Your husband whether good or bad cannot make you do what God says or not, only you can decide to obey the Lord.

So when it comes to submission to your husband..

1Peter 3:6
as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror.
(Another interpretation for Lord in that verse is Master)

(In 1 Peter 2:18 it talks about how a slave should behave towards their earthly masters)
1 Peter 2:18
Servants, be submissive to your masters with all fear, not only to the good and gentle, but also to the harsh.
(Most women in America would say, "but wait! We aren't slaves to our husbands!" I would say, but aren't we? Didn't we choose to willingly serve only him for the rest of his life? To show my point, I point you back to the model of Christ and the church, the specific model for marriage.)

(Here's a few slaves of Christ verses although there's so many more)
*1 Corinthians 6:19-20-bought with a price
*Romans 6:22-23-you have become slaves of God
*Luke 17:5-10-unprofitable servant
*2 Timothy 2:3-4-good soldiers don't entangle themselves with the affairs of this life

I really like the literal translation of the YLT bible (Youngs Literal Translation bible) in this verse.. It puts what the wives are actually supposed to do in perspective.
*Ephesians 5:22-24
The wives! to your own husbands subject yourselves, as to the Lord, because the husband is head of the wife, as also the Christ is head of the assembly, and he is saviour of the body, but even as the assembly is subject to Christ, so also are the wives to their own husbands in everything


Since the kind of subjection the church is to have unto Christ is as a slave to a master-I apply that straight over to a wife to husband relationship.
Ask yourself what place did God make for women?
1 Corinthians 11:8-9 - For man is not from woman, but woman from man. Nor was man created for the woman, but woman for the man.
Genesis 2:18 - And the LORD God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.”
(So women in these verses are said to be for man, for companionship and for helping him.)
You are owned by your husband, you are his possession just as the church is Christ's possession. And in turn you are to obey everything that he would ask of you unless you know it to be something that disobeys your heavenly master who is your husband's master as well.
An example of the authority that your husband has over you is the whole chapter of Numbers 30.. (When a woman makes a vow it is bound to her soul. Your husband at any time can break that vow.. A father, only if you're a youth living in his house, can only break your vow on the day he first hears about it. A husband can break your vow at any time.)

So to bring this all together we are submissive to our husbands because we are being submissive to Christ and doing what Christ has asked us to do. If we love Christ we will do what He says, if He is our Lord we will do what He says(1 John 5:3 & Luke 6:46).
Ephesians 6:5-8
Bondservants, be obedient to those who are your masters according to the flesh, with fear and trembling, in sincerity of heart, as to Christ; not with eyeservice, as men-pleasers, but as bondservants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart, with goodwill doing service, as to the Lord, and not to men, knowing that whatever good anyone does, he will receive the same from the Lord, whether he is a slave or free.

You chose for your husband to be your master or lord just as you chose Christ to be your Master or Lord. So to please our God we must do what He says and obey our husbands. This isn't to say if something is bothering you that you can't mention it to your husband but then be willing to accept what your husband decides to do without arguing with him.

The fruit of following this..God tells us the servant who does His will is called His friend so I compare this relationship to us and our husbands..that our actions of obeying God to be submissive like Sarah will cause a positive reaction from our husbands of friendship.

So this is how I've understood these scriptures so far.. Please if anyone has any critiques or additions let me know.
Btw.. I use nkjv and ylt usually for my studying in case anyone was wondering what translations I pulled from. Thanks for reading

 

[MeganC]

You can only control your actions..you can't force your husband to be a biblical man, whether he is or he isn't. You can't make him do something anymore than my child can make a kid on the playground be nice to him. What you can do is focus on yourself and who God wants YOU to be..

I agree. But I can also say that had my husband not been the responsible man he clearly was I would not have married him.

You are owned by your husband

I agree! But like you observed there are some conditions to that ownership that some people tend to ignore:

And in turn you are to obey everything that he would ask of you unless you know it to be something that disobeys your heavenly master who is your husband's master as well.

Meaning that my obligation is to obey my godly man. But if he strays then my obligation is to God first.

 

[Leslie Pease]

I agree. But I can also say that had my husband not been the responsible man he clearly was I would not have married him.

Yes MeganC, I believe it is very very important to chose the right man. My sister was very concerned about the choice of single men around and was willing to just be single because she was not willing to compromise on her standards of godliness from the man she knew a good husband must have to lead her and her children well.

Meaning that my obligation is to obey my godly man. But if he strays then my obligation is to God first.

Yes your obligation is always to God first but I would say that when it comes to going against your husbands authority you should always pray about it and have specific scripture to back it up and just because he (in some choices) became more ungodly, we see that we are to be submissive even to an unbelieving man. So an example of the difference would be if an ungodly husband asked his wife to go to the store to get him food and she didn't want to she should still go because there is no scripture that says that's wrong and she should be submissive to her husband, on the other side if a husband(godly or ungodly) asked his wife to have sex with a different man she should say no because that's adultery and the bible specifically says that that is wrong.

 

[Bria]

I love this post!

Yay!

“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the savior of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be subject to their own husbands in every thing.” Ephesians 5:22-24

Such an important verse! We had a fellow brother in Christ trying to push that equal submission is a thing and God's design, which is so far from the truth. Men and Women were created differently with different roles. In this world it can be so so hard to fight but God knew what He was creating!

The hardest thing is doing it in front of others without fear or embarrassment. Like calling my husband master or lord in front of worldly women or Christian women who are not for biblical submission- but enjoy christian submission where all parties are equal. Easiest thing was to learn that my husband was my lord. It took so much pressure off of me to know and do everything because I only had to submit to him.

It is a very humbling mindset when calling a husband lord, it is beautiful, sometimes challenging but also can bring peace and calmness to the heart... well at least from my experience haha Do you default to calling your husband lord and master all the time? You don't need to answer if you aren't able to or don't fell comfortable sharing. I am simply curious.

I was not born around it and I saw very little examples. However, I am a first generation American in my family so I did witness submissive women in other cultures.

Advice: Surround yourselves with women who are like minded such as this platform. There's also a group of women who fellowship on Whats App. I may put up a post to let women who want to join it get the information for it.

Very neat! Yes please! I struggle with feeling discouraged around by the lack of biblical submission being taught and practiced in the Churches around me. I have been craving, praying and hoping to find a mentor to help me on this journey and to find a good example! (Although i just realized I uninstalled Whats App due to the recent privacy updates or something like that.)

My feelings are I love submission. I would hope all women to be this way because it is the best way to be.

I would like to add that the most beautiful thing in the world for a woman is to be submissive!

So beautiful! Thank you for sharing! I also love your profile name

 

[Bria]

I've been wanting to weigh in on this page for a few weeks now but I figured I should probably relook at the scriptures and pray and talk to my husband before I shared my understandings of it. So here it is..

Biblical Submission
This is what God has taught me about submission so far, (I say so far because I think I will keep on learning how to be a better and submissive wife till the day I die). This is the kind of stuff though that makes the women in the American Church cringe when they hear it. Women worry about how they will be treated if they submit to their husband like scripture says, but I propose.. What if you just obey God and let Him be your protector? What if you just have faith in Him and His plan for marriage whether or not your husband is a good bible following man(1 Peter 3:1), (1 Peter 4:19)&(1 Peter 5:6-7)?

I approach being a wife from the perspective of how I teach my children. You can only control your actions..you can't force your husband to be a biblical man, whether he is or he isn't. You can't make him do something anymore than my child can make a kid on the playground be nice to him. What you can do is focus on yourself and who God wants YOU to be.. Which is being the best wife that you can be for your husband. Whether he's a believer or an unbeliever..whether he's nice or harsh.. In the end.. we aren't living for ourselves right? No, we are living to please our heavenly master and that means doing what He says. YOU are responsible for your obedience to God. God says that those who love Him keep His commandments(1 John 5:3). Do you believe the scripture that says "all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose"(Romans 8:28)? So do you love God? Your husband whether good or bad cannot make you do what God says or not, only you can decide to obey the Lord.

So when it comes to submission to your husband..

1Peter 3:6
as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror.
(Another interpretation for Lord in that verse is Master)

(In 1 Peter 2:18 it talks about how a slave should behave towards their earthly masters)
1 Peter 2:18
Servants, be submissive to your masters with all fear, not only to the good and gentle, but also to the harsh.
(Most women in America would say, "but wait! We aren't slaves to our husbands!" I would say, but aren't we? Didn't we choose to willingly serve only him for the rest of his life? To show my point, I point you back to the model of Christ and the church, the specific model for marriage.)

(Here's a few slaves of Christ verses although there's so many more)
*1 Corinthians 6:19-20-bought with a price
*Romans 6:22-23-you have become slaves of God
*Luke 17:5-10-unprofitable servant
*2 Timothy 2:3-4-good soldiers don't entangle themselves with the affairs of this life

I really like the literal translation of the YLT bible (Youngs Literal Translation bible) in this verse.. It puts what the wives are actually supposed to do in perspective.
*Ephesians 5:22-24
The wives! to your own husbands subject yourselves, as to the Lord, because the husband is head of the wife, as also the Christ is head of the assembly, and he is saviour of the body, but even as the assembly is subject to Christ, so also are the wives to their own husbands in everything


Since the kind of subjection the church is to have unto Christ is as a slave to a master-I apply that straight over to a wife to husband relationship.
Ask yourself what place did God make for women?
1 Corinthians 11:8-9 - For man is not from woman, but woman from man. Nor was man created for the woman, but woman for the man.
Genesis 2:18 - And the LORD God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.”
(So women in these verses are said to be for man, for companionship and for helping him.)
You are owned by your husband, you are his possession just as the church is Christ's possession. And in turn you are to obey everything that he would ask of you unless you know it to be something that disobeys your heavenly master who is your husband's master as well.
An example of the authority that your husband has over you is the whole chapter of Numbers 30.. (When a woman makes a vow it is bound to her soul. Your husband at any time can break that vow.. A father, only if you're a youth living in his house, can only break your vow on the day he first hears about it. A husband can break your vow at any time.)

So to bring this all together we are submissive to our husbands because we are being submissive to Christ and doing what Christ has asked us to do. If we love Christ we will do what He says, if He is our Lord we will do what He says(1 John 5:3 & Luke 6:46).
Ephesians 6:5-8
Bondservants, be obedient to those who are your masters according to the flesh, with fear and trembling, in sincerity of heart, as to Christ; not with eyeservice, as men-pleasers, but as bondservants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart, with goodwill doing service, as to the Lord, and not to men, knowing that whatever good anyone does, he will receive the same from the Lord, whether he is a slave or free.

You chose for your husband to be your master or lord just as you chose Christ to be your Master or Lord. So to please our God we must do what He says and obey our husbands. This isn't to say if something is bothering you that you can't mention it to your husband but then be willing to accept what your husband decides to do without arguing with him.

The fruit of following this..God tells us the servant who does His will is called His friend so I compare this relationship to us and our husbands..that our actions of obeying God to be submissive like Sarah will cause a positive reaction from our husbands of friendship.

So this is how I've understood these scriptures so far.. Please if anyone has any critiques or additions let me know.
Btw.. I use nkjv and ylt usually for my studying in case anyone was wondering what translations I pulled from. Thanks for reading

This is close if not pretty much the same as my understanding so hopefully we are all onto something! Lol I have so many questions for you lol but I don't know if you feel comfortable with me asking publicly or not

 

[MeganC]

Yes MeganC, I believe it is very very important to chose the right man. My sister was very concerned about the choice of single men around and was willing to just be single because she was not willing to compromise on her standards of godliness from the man she knew a good husband must have to lead her and her children well.

Yes your obligation is always to God first but I would say that when it comes to going against your husbands authority you should always pray about it and have specific scripture to back it up and just because he (in some choices) became more ungodly, we see that we are to be submissive even to an unbelieving man. So an example of the difference would be if an ungodly husband asked his wife to go to the store to get him food and she didn't want to she should still go because there is no scripture that says that's wrong and she should be submissive to her husband, on the other side if a husband(godly or ungodly) asked his wife to have sex with a different man she should say no because that's adultery and the bible specifically says that that is wrong.

My obligation is always to God first. If that means that sometimes I will object to my husband on important matters then my husband knows that I don't ever object to him for trivial reasons. Like he prefers Skippy peanut butter over any other and that's what I get.

With regards to your last example that's an example of what I mean when I say pick a good man and you don't need to worry about that kind of thing.

 

[Leslie Pease]

This is close if not pretty much the same as my understanding so hopefully we are all onto something! Lol I have so many questions for you lol but I don't know if you feel comfortable with me asking publicly or not

I have no problem answering you publicly Bria. It really has been my hope to help any women who the Lord would put in my life to teach and I also love to learn from other women as well Ask away!

 

[Bria]

I have no problem answering you publicly Bria. It really has been my hope to help any women who the Lord would put in my life to teach and I also love to learn from other women as well Ask away!

So I apologize for not responding right away. I read your response and then I chickened out I see I can start a conversation with you now so maybe I will do that and ask my questions there! Lol

 

[Joleneakamama]

I appreciate this discussion. We each are learning and life is a journey. After years of marriage I had learned some things. Like when your hubby is doing something and you suggest "Why don't you ______" it's the same as saying you're doing it wrong.
Communication is important. I have always wanted to have a traditional, the man is head of the house family. That said, it takes a lot of humility at times for the heart intent to get across to the dear husband.
It is easy when corrected or criticized to get defensive, but that doesn't help.

If you want a good leader, you need to be a good follower.

Thanks to all discussing this. It encourages me to work on myself.