Love in a Marriage

[Chaplain]

How is Love expressed in your marriage??? Is it in the way you act??? Is it in the way you speak to your wife/husband??? Is in the way you look at each other???

For me, Love is expressed when I come to bed late and my Rose comes and snuggles up to me. It is expressed in the times that she just slides her foot and touches mine. Other ways are when she just touches my hand as I am driving or in the way she kisses me. Her Love was expressed in having my 4 children and trying her best to raise them in a way that was pleasing to my God. Her Love is expressed in how she looks at me. There are other ways but one that is important is that she has joined me in understanding what God has to say about Covenant Relationships. She expresses her Love in excepting the fact that I also am in Love with her best friend J and that I wish to have a Covenant Relationship with her. She expresses her Love in understanding that my relationship and any alone time with our future Covenant partner is between J and I, just as my relationship and alone time between Rose and myself is between the 2 of us. There are other ways but will let her share if she so wishes.

I Love my Rose and have Loved her for a very long time. I try and express my Love for her in many ways and not just in word alone. I know that we as men usually have a hard time sharing our Love with those that we care about. We may share it by lightly touching our wives in a Loving manner at night when we go to bed. We may say it in the deeds that we do. Another may be in the way we give and give to our wives and children and not expect anything in return. It might be in going to work when we are hurting in some manner when we really should be at the doctor. ( I can attest to this on many occassions )

Love in a marriage is a very important thing, that at times we lose site of it with all of the activities that we as husbands and wives are involved in. Love in a marriage is not just about sex or how much of it you can have. Love is the driving force behind the actions we take to care for those within our families, even if we have more than one wife. For us men, that Love is enlarged to encompass not only our children but all of our wives as well. God has allowed a man to have a heart of Love like HE has. Just as we strive to do that which is best for our families out of our Love for them, so too has and does my God do those things for us out of HIS Love for us....even offering HIS only son to die for you and me.

To my Chaplains Rose-----I say this ( or rather write this :lol: ) without reservation and do not care who knows it--------I Love you my dear and have always Loved you and will not stop Loving you------ no matter what. I thank you for allowing me to share my Love for you with J, thus enlarging my ability to Love even more. My Love for you is differnt than my Love for J though I Love you both. Thank you again and don't forget-----I LOVE YA

 

[Chaplains Rose]

What can one say when they read a post like this? They can think of how special a love this man has for his wife or how this touches me. But what can you say when it is written for you by your husband? i sit here speechless, breathless with tears streaming down my face trying to get my thoughts straight. I will try and be coherent when I am responding.

You love me when I am unlovable. I have caused you much pain and heartache but yet you reach down with your strong hand and pull me up from the deep and dark hole I have fallen into. You dust me off, wipe the tears from my face, hold my hand and let me walk along beside as your wife. You put your pain aside to make me whole again. You forgive me even though I have hurt you. You trust me again when I have broken that trust. You love me even when I don't love myself. You hold me accountable for my mistakes but don't hold them against me.

I, like most women, like to hear "I love you too" when I say I love you or like to hear you say "I love you " out of the blue. I like to hear it several or many times a day BUT when I don't think I hear it enough I fuss, complain and pout. You have told me when you say something so much it loses it meaning. I think I finally got it through my hard head what you have been trying to tell me. When you say something so much and expect to hear it in return it is just a response that becomes routine. You writing this is so special and touching and it makes me grateful to have a husband like you and it makes me strive to be the woman and wife God wants me to be.

Another reason I know that my Chaplain loves me is because he loves God and Jesus with his whole being. I don't believe that one can fully love others until they accepts God's Love and the sacrificial Love that Jesus has for us. Even though you can love others you can't love fully until you see how much you were loved. What better love to pattern yours after than to pattern it after the Love our Heavenly Father showed to us when He gave His only begotten Son for us. Not only was did God love us but Jesus loved us so much that if you or I had been the only sinner He still would have died for just only one person. As we grow to understand God's Love it is only then that we can have open our heart to love more people instead of loving ourselves. We will of course never love as fully as God or Jesus do but what we can strive to love as fully as we can. I believe that is how we can as parents love more than one child as how as one husband can love more than one wife. The more love we give away the more love we have to give away. True Love also covers a multitude of sins. When others hurt us it is the love inside of us that allows us to see past the hurt and so we can continue to love them.

You can show someone you love them by your actions and gestures. We can be in the same room and I can feel your eyes upon me and I look up and see you and we can communicate with just a look. When you are at work you call every night and you listen to me rant about my day and have me ask the same question twice because I didn't listen the first time. When you are home you come and pick me up for lunch or you come and pick me up when I work late. When its been a long night and it's cold outside you have the bathroom warm so I can take a long hot bath. You like it cold and I like it warm but when it is cold outside you will get up in the middle of the night and cover me with an extra cover because you know I am more than likely cold. I feel you pat me in or touch my hair in the middle of the night and it makes me feel safe.

You show love to our children by giving of yourself and by working hard to provide them things you never had. You performed the marriage ceremony between our son and daughter in law. You walked our daughter down the aisle and gave her away to another man. You are there for our other two daughters when their hearts are broken or they have good news to share. You show them through your love what kind of man our son should be and what kind of man our daughters should marry.

You show your love to me by loving my best friend and wanting to provide for , care for her and love her. I was rebellious when you first brought up that you wanted a Covenant Relationship with J. But i have come to understand that it comes from a love that only God could have given you for her. I support you in having J join us. She will have to make the choice if and when to join us. You have shown her that all men are not like her father and her ex husband. You have shown her that you are a true Man of God and a Man of Honor through your love for me and our children.

I love you the man you were in the past , the man you are now and the man you are to be. To the world you are big and gruff but those of us who know the real you see a man who gives of himself and who is a true Man of God. i pray that God will guide you and bless you and direct the paths that you as well as we need to be on.

This has been hard for me to write not because I did not want to respond but because satan didn't want me to respond but God did want a response from me. I have written this three times. My first response did not go through because I got booted off the site because i took too long to write it. My second response I hit something on the computer and I lost everything. The third time finally went but i hit enter too many times and had a big space with no writing but finally got that fixed..... God also woke me up early so I could add a few more things but now hopefully I have shared all that God wanted me to share .
I love you and your love makes me stronger.

 

[Deanne]

I had posted under “Practicing Polygyny Legally” (in this section) a concern for living a “legal” life, under the radar of the state, while giving a witness of an amoral life to neighbors and friends. I concluded that posting with a sarcastic statement that “surely Hugh Hefner is not the model for Biblical Families”. I find in the above two posting from Chaplin and Chaplin’s Rose the model for Biblical Families, whether in a monogamous or plural marriage.

May God grant the two of you your heart’s desire and may His Son always shine on your faces!

Ray

 

[sweetlissa]

Surely you two are inspired by God. He is truly a member of your marriage and I am so please that you are my friends, and that you are on our board. You both bless me so much. The words you two so lovingly speak to and of each other are certainly written by angels and put in your hearts.

All I can say is that in 30 years, if Randy, T and I are still as caring of each other as you two are, I will count our life to have been a good one. Thank you both for your inspirations.

Love you both.

Lissa