I have some thoughts on polygyny I need to work through, and I'm very busy in my personal life right now so I thought I might restrict this to the ladies section. I'm mostly insterested in female responses right now anyway.
Also, I'm Eastern Orthodox, so my theological perspective may be different. Please bear with me.
I hadn't had to really think about polygyny until it became a real potential reality for me.
My first Biblical reference that sprung to mind wasn't any of the verses on marriage, but Psalm 113:9
Possibly this first came to mind because I'm childless, and not by choice, but it also really fit within the theology that defines my faith.
Israel had covenants with the Lord, but with the Incarnation those covenants became fulfilled via adoption: we became sons of the Father when the Son willingly took on humanity to heal us.
And the description of God as bridegroom doesn't really have a monogamous connotation. in many places it's polygamous in language. Even the Song of Songs can be best understood as describing a relationship, but not an exclusive one.
The portrayals of the problems in polygamy (Sarah and Hager, Leah and Rachel) can't really be taken as criticisms of polygamy any more than the issues portrayed in apparently monogamous relationships can be taken as criticisms of monogamy. The Bible is in some ways a chronicle of flawed humans, with only Christ Himself representing perfection and true goodness.
It seems to me the repeated injunctions to care for widows, orphans, and the poor necessarily imply polygamy and adoption. To give someone alms is a temporary and fleeting gesture. To make them family is to give them a future.
As Christians we are to emulate Christ, and so if salvation is adoption, then that heavenly pattern must play out in our earthly lives.
You don't divorce a child. It's a lifelong unbreakable connection, even when estranged.
So perhaps the idea is that the covenant of marriage is fulfilled in Christ with something greater, more akin to adoption. And just as you don't put away your firstborn with the birth of a new child, or find that the love of one child disappears with the advent of anew birth, so love increases among wives.
And just as there can be an excess of polygyny (such as Solomon) there can also be an excess of celibacy or monogamy (see Tamar). So while our hearts are called to be capable of more, they are also called to wisdom and moderation.
And the idea of polygyny as akin to adoption is a bit sobering for everyone involved, because it doesn't imply a social or romantic experiment but a deep and lasting commitment of an entire family. This isn't just a man and woman agreeing to something between the two of them. This is a family commitment that outlasts the first flush of emotion.
Just as our being adopted as sons of God by the Father elevates humanity, so polygyny elevates women in that they are valued and cherished family members regardless of the romantic component of marriage. They are sisters, mothers, grandmothers, aunts. The family connection is greater than the marriage itself alone. In the same way, our place in the Kingdom is greater than if we're "feeling it" when we pray and worship. Our identity is not rooted solely in emotion. A friend of mine once told me "love is liturgical" and I think there's some wisdom in that.
We can't adopt everyone as family, but in making that commitment to someone we have engaged in an important part of our journey to salvation, as we are called to be greater in response to greater responsibilities and commitments. Because adoption is not kindness in passing, but a daily call to charity, love, forgiveness, and mercy. A daily call to gratitude.
Anyway, that's my thinking right now. I'm curious what other women think? Am I missing something? Am I getting something right?
Let me know...
Also, I'm Eastern Orthodox, so my theological perspective may be different. Please bear with me.
I hadn't had to really think about polygyny until it became a real potential reality for me.
My first Biblical reference that sprung to mind wasn't any of the verses on marriage, but Psalm 113:9
Possibly this first came to mind because I'm childless, and not by choice, but it also really fit within the theology that defines my faith.
Israel had covenants with the Lord, but with the Incarnation those covenants became fulfilled via adoption: we became sons of the Father when the Son willingly took on humanity to heal us.
And the description of God as bridegroom doesn't really have a monogamous connotation. in many places it's polygamous in language. Even the Song of Songs can be best understood as describing a relationship, but not an exclusive one.
The portrayals of the problems in polygamy (Sarah and Hager, Leah and Rachel) can't really be taken as criticisms of polygamy any more than the issues portrayed in apparently monogamous relationships can be taken as criticisms of monogamy. The Bible is in some ways a chronicle of flawed humans, with only Christ Himself representing perfection and true goodness.
It seems to me the repeated injunctions to care for widows, orphans, and the poor necessarily imply polygamy and adoption. To give someone alms is a temporary and fleeting gesture. To make them family is to give them a future.
As Christians we are to emulate Christ, and so if salvation is adoption, then that heavenly pattern must play out in our earthly lives.
You don't divorce a child. It's a lifelong unbreakable connection, even when estranged.
So perhaps the idea is that the covenant of marriage is fulfilled in Christ with something greater, more akin to adoption. And just as you don't put away your firstborn with the birth of a new child, or find that the love of one child disappears with the advent of anew birth, so love increases among wives.
And just as there can be an excess of polygyny (such as Solomon) there can also be an excess of celibacy or monogamy (see Tamar). So while our hearts are called to be capable of more, they are also called to wisdom and moderation.
And the idea of polygyny as akin to adoption is a bit sobering for everyone involved, because it doesn't imply a social or romantic experiment but a deep and lasting commitment of an entire family. This isn't just a man and woman agreeing to something between the two of them. This is a family commitment that outlasts the first flush of emotion.
Just as our being adopted as sons of God by the Father elevates humanity, so polygyny elevates women in that they are valued and cherished family members regardless of the romantic component of marriage. They are sisters, mothers, grandmothers, aunts. The family connection is greater than the marriage itself alone. In the same way, our place in the Kingdom is greater than if we're "feeling it" when we pray and worship. Our identity is not rooted solely in emotion. A friend of mine once told me "love is liturgical" and I think there's some wisdom in that.
We can't adopt everyone as family, but in making that commitment to someone we have engaged in an important part of our journey to salvation, as we are called to be greater in response to greater responsibilities and commitments. Because adoption is not kindness in passing, but a daily call to charity, love, forgiveness, and mercy. A daily call to gratitude.
Anyway, that's my thinking right now. I'm curious what other women think? Am I missing something? Am I getting something right?
Let me know...
