Questions

[Anonymous]

Ok so I am trying to figure out what I believe about polygyny.

In all the studies I have done on the subject, there is not one place that I can find where the Bible condemns this as sinfulness.

Can someone please help me understand this?

 

[Heidi Lee]

Polygamy is very Biblical. Clearly in God's Word He does allow it and it is another form of a Christian marriage.
God allows it but it's not for everyone at the same time. When my husband & I first started looking into it I
had the same feelings that you have now. It took a lot of prayer and it was a process for me to get to the place
now where I'm completely fine with the idea of sharing my husband with a sister-wife. Part of what made me feel
o.k. about it was that I've gotten very close to our future sister-wife and feel like I'm close freinds with her. As you
take the time to bond with a potencial sister-wife that helps those feeling to go away.
Do not ever enter into a polygamist marriage unless both of you are 100% sure you want this and it's
what God wants for you too. It is a journey filled with ups and downs but the reward of having a loving sister-wife
by your side out-ways it all. Feel free to e-mail me any time if you ever want to talk.
tlfhfl@verizon.net Blessings,
Heidi Lee

 

[sweetlissa]

I would have to agree with HeidiLee. It is a wonderful relationship, but it has so many different angles than a regular monogamous relationship.

For instance, we all know how to try to make our potential mate happy. How to please him and surprise him. Well, I think that in a family that is poly the wives should be doing the same for each other. Like, for instance, I know that T loves surprises, so anytime I see something I just know she would like I get it and give it to her. We talk for hours because we both love to talk.

The important thing to remember is that you are not competing for the man, you are sharing him. The goal is for everyone to be satisfied most of the time. This means that as women, we need to be satisfied in ourselves, not just in the reflection of our man. Because logistically, there will be times that we will need him and he won't be there, we have to be somewhat self-sufficient while at the same time submissive.

T and I have come to care a lot for each other. We keep finding ways that we are more and more similar to each other. We enjoy talking together, dreaming of the future, shopping and hanging out with the grandkids. We haven't lived together yet, but we have pretty much ironed that out in our minds. We know that there will be times of adjustment and maybe some stress, but we both know that we want to work it out and therefore we know we will.

That is the biggest challenge and the biggest key to this. Everyone must want it to work out. Just like in a monogamous relationship, both parties must want to work it out, the same is true here, only with all of the members of the family. If there wasn't mutual trust this would never work.

When we are all working together we can do anything that God asks us to do.

Welcome to the board and feel free to ask anything you want.

Sweet Lissa

 

[julieb]

Nicely put, Lissa!

To add to that I would say that each of us has a different method of understanding the things of God in our lives. The Plural Marraige idea is such a change of mind set for most women that it takes a lot of time to put it into our thought patterns. The fear of the unknown is real, therefore I recommend that time is made available to read this list, e-mail certain ladies that you feel a connection to and spend time reading the Bible and other good books on Biblical Marriage. One of the biggest fear busters is coming to a retreat to meet people of like mindedness in person. I sound like an advertisement but it's reall y true. I believe that it gives people a tangible experience of something that has only been in their spirit. It can also confirm that plural marriage is not for you if that be the case.

For me the fear of having to give up my "dream" of what I thought my life ought to be was very hard. I had to make a decision to trust God completly with my "dreams". This all takes time and God sending the special scriptures and moments of revelation to our hearts from His. But doesn't that apply to anything God asks us to do that is contrary to our "flesh".or worldly attitude that we have learned. If God has plural marriage in your game plan then it will be a blessing to you. Is not our God, a good and gracious God?

Hope for the future,
Julie

 

[sweetlissa]

Julie,
The more I live in God's word, the more convinced I am that to be in God is to be the opposite of the world. Once you start thinking like that it is so amazing the revelations that come to you. Like giving your last little bit of money, or turning your cheek for someone to slap instead of slapping back or getting all hurt. Like giving up your life to have eternal life and like not having to earn our way to heaven through works, but through grace.

I am glad you brought up that aspect of it. Every problem that people see in polygamy is also a problem in the world. God wants us to be in the world but not of it.

Sweet Lissa

 

[Anonymous]

Thanks for all the help ladies.

Each of you seem to have different perspectives that are all helpful. I appreciate your posts.

I am thouroughly enjoying the research I am doing and hope to figure out more and more as I go. It is a great experience and I love the study. It is always so exciting to dive into God's word and look at it and see what it says for itself rather than trying to make it say what we want it to.

I would love any resources you have that would aid me.

In His Loving Grace.

 

[Joleneakamama]

I found a very good bible study on polygamy at gospel ministries here is a link.
http://www.gospelministry.net/Study_polygamy.html
It is on tapes but you can read the first message at the web site.
I think it is the best I've seen on the subject. (We got the tapes)
I hope this helps, Jolene