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Reverencing Our Husbands

G

GivenMercy

New Member
Real Person
I Peter 3:1-2 "In like manner, you married women, be submissive to you own husband [subordinate yourselves as being secondary to and dependent on them, and adapt yourselves to them], so that even if any do not obey the Word [of God], they may be won over not by discussion but by the [godly] lives of their wives,

When they observe the pure and modest way in which you conduct yourselves, together with your reverence [for your husband; you are to feel for him all that reverence includes: to respect, defer to, revere him---to honor, esteem, appreciate, prize, and in the human sense,to adore him, that is, to admire, praise, be devoted to, deeply love, and enjoy your husband.]"

I was listening to a message about Loving God, yourself (in the right way) and others - and the above verse was given when referring to our loving our spouse (which, of course, is God's instruction to all wives - whether in mono or plural marriage)....... I have been thinking on this all day and asking myself just how much I apply myself to do all of the above. I am at work (late) so can't say all that is on my mind at the moment - but I am meditating on practical ways I can do the above things. (I'm not saying I don't do these things already to some degree -- I am saying I want to continually improve on what I do!) I know we have godly men who DO "obey the Word of God" - but we still should be doing the things God instructed us to do :)

I am hoping you will all share your thouhts on this topic......... more from me later

Peace & Blesings!

Shari
 
I have been thinking about this - and like anything else I believe how we treat our husbands starts in our minds (our thoughts)............ if we take the time to think on those things we admire and appreciate about them when we are apart, we are already in a better state of mind when we see them again.

Remember when you first "met"? I'll bet you spent a whole lot of time thinking about them then - and those thoughts were probably all pretty positive, too ;) And, the more you thought all those nice things - the more you could hardly wait to see them again! :D Of course, by the time you saw them, then, you were probably so excited and happy to see them that you had nothing but good things to say to them............... and I'll bet they're response was pretty positive to all that, too. 8-)

I have found that, with practice, it is possible to think about my husband like that again. In fact, since we have been together over 34 years now there are a LOT of good things I can remember and think on about him ........ and it really does make a difference when I put this into practice :)

I do have some more to share; but, I am looking for and am open to finding more ways to honor my husband -- please share your thoughts, ideas, or what you are doing in this area -- I would love to hear from any of you!

Peace & Blessings!

Shari
 
Hi Shari,

I like what you've said! Too often we forget that our husbands were these amazing men that we fell totally in love with way back when. It's so easy to go along with the crowd and talk down about your man! We should take a stand and say, "Enough! I love my hubby, he's GREAT!" :D

Okay, so this is kind of silly (maybe not...), but every now and then I like to put John's shoes on for him. Kind of serve him in an unexpected manner. He usually laughs and says thank you, but you know, it makes me feel pretty good inside. I like serving him.

My favorite example of an awesome wife is Sarah. She was a very head strong women who knew what she wanted, and yet she submitted herself to Abraham, who sometimes didn't always get it right (remember that mess in Egypt?). I want to be like her, able to stand up for myself, but revering my husband at the same time!

So, there you have my two cents worth. I want to hear some more of what you have to say in the matter!

Respectfully yours,
Onna
 
I guess it is time to put in my two cents worth. I can only begin by saying that I do try and show reverence to the Chaplain but there are a lot of times that I fail miserably. I am doing better now at respecting and reverencing him than I have in the past but I am no where near where I need to be.
In some ways his work schedule has made it harder for me and easier in other ways. He is gone a week at a time and there were times when I had to make decisions and be the "boss" and do what was needed to be done. At times I did not want to give the control back to him and I really didn't realize that I was doing that until the Chaplain pointed it out to me. We have had that conversation many times ;) . With him working the way that he does has made me stronger but sometimes I think it has made me too strong. With the way his work schedule is, the days he crew changes and is coming home allows me to feel all giddy and excited because my man is coming home. It makes my eyes sparkle and makes me smile. I am like that also when he calls. The kids say that they know when their dad calls me because they can hear my love for him in my voice and see the reactions on my face. The people I work with also comment when they hear the way I talk about the Chaplain and that he is either coming home or is coming get me to go to lunch. They roll their eyes but I can see that they wish their husband or boyfriend would come and get them for lunch.

I praise the Chaplain for leaving us for a week at a time and providing greatly for us , his family. I cherish the time we spend together and miss the times he is not here. I love the man he once was, love the man he is now and love the man he is to be. I admire the Chaplain for showing me true love and true forgiveness. I want to be the wife I need to be for him and a wife he is proud to call his. I want to honor him and show him reverence and I am learning to do those better.

I want to be strong when I have to be but I also want to be the weaker vessel when I should be. I want the Chaplain to lead but sometimes I am headstrong and I don't want to follow. I must say most of the time I don't like that he does not have to seek my opinions or feelings on things but he is gracious and loving enough to seek my opinion on matters anyway. Even when he seeks my opinions on things it still may not change his mind but it may give him a different view on things. I am thankful that he just doesn't listen to me but he hears me too. So here's to you Chaplain... I love you !!
 
During the Florida retreat I was talking to someone about what submission is. Can't remember right now all the details but what we came up with was that our husbands need us to depend on them, but at the same time they need us to be able to stand on our own two feet. Easier said than done, I know. But the long and the short of it is, that we need to respect him and trust him to lead us, but still be able to function when he is not here. And when we function, we need to do it with him in mind, keeping our eyes focused on the family goals or vision. Meaning that we will always make good decisions if we do it according to what our family has decided are its priorities.

Like Onna, I like to surprise daPastor every now and again by serving him in some unexpected way. It doesn't happen often and usually it is quite by accident but I will see a look of surprised pleasure on his face that is reward enough for any effort.

Lissa
 
Thank you all for sharing! I like the idea of "unexpected" surprises to serve our husbands - even if it is in a seemingly "small" way (Thanks Onna for the idea!) I think the way Chaplain's Rose gets all excited when she gets a call from 'her man' (or is about to see him again) is yet another way we can actually honor our men! It honors them to our children and the others who see how much they mean to us. One of the things I do when Don comes to see me at work - usually for lunch -- is walk him out and blow him a kiss and wave 'bye' and watch until he is out of sight ------ one day someone commented - in not the nicest tone -- do you ALWAYS do that?! And, of course, I said that I did - even at home. (And you are right about others sort of "looking down" on us for it - by rolling eyes or muffled laughter - but I agree with you --I think they are actually sort of jealous)

I agree with you, too, Lissa - that to be able to make decisions when our men are not right there - based on what we know to be family values and priorities - is definitely honoring to them!

I am at work - so will have to write more later. I really do appreciate the responses ------ I, too, am not where I want to be in this -- but am far from where I used to be. I really hope to hear some more from everyone - b/c that's what we as a "body of believers" do -- encourage one another in God's Ways of living our lives :) I will share one thingI have learned NOT do do -- and that is to "correct" my husband in front of others (not even grammer in speech - or exact time or dates of events - or any other way) --- I do all I can with God's help to NOT do this! (Being a teacher at heart - and being "detail oriented" I almost 'correct' without thinking - but God has helped me to catch myself most of the time BEFORE I open my mouth 8-) ).

Thanks again for sharing -- I hope to hear more so we can continually grow to be the "help-meet"(s) God intended for us to be :D

Shari
 
This topic has got me thinking, and remembering.

I am reminded of one time I offended John by not honoring him. :oops: We were having some car trouble and I asked my dad if he would be able to look at it for me without asking John first. When John found out he was glad that I was thinking about the car, but offended that I didn't go to him first or ask him to fix it first. He explained how he feels that it's his job to take care of problems, like the car, (and he's right) and that by asking my dad first I was, essentially, telling Dad that John was not in control of the situation or our family.

Boy, was that an eye opener for me! It made me think of how such a little thing like that could make my hubby feel small and insignificant, and not really the head of the house. By letting John deal with these problems instead of taking control of them myself, I am submitting myself to him, and you know what? I really like it! :D

Onna
 
sweetlissa said:
During the Florida retreat I was talking to someone about what submission is. Can't remember right now all the details but what we came up with was that our husbands need us to depend on them, but at the same time they need us to be able to stand on our own two feet. Easier said than done, I know. But the long and the short of it is, that we need to respect him and trust him to lead us, but still be able to function when he is not here. And when we function, we need to do it with him in mind, keeping our eyes focused on the family goals or vision. Meaning that we will always make good decisions if we do it according to what our family has decided are its priorities.

Like Onna, I like to surprise daPastor every now and again by serving him in some unexpected way. It doesn't happen often and usually it is quite by accident but I will see a look of surprised pleasure on his face that is reward enough for any effort.

Lissa
Click to expand...

Lissa, I really liked what you said about when we function when hubby isn't there we should keep him in mind and the decisions can be based on our family goals and priorities. This will never steer us wrong.
One of the things I like to do and have just started is when hubby comes home from a hot day working I have a cold iced drink waiting for him so all he has to do is greet the fur babies and sit and rest in his chair, I only recently thought to do that and was surprised to note that one day when I forgot to do it, he brought me his glass and asked for the cold drink. Clearly he has noticed and appreciated the new thing I have done in reverencing him.

Kara
 
I love learning new ways to reverence hubby and am going to enjoy this discussion very much. One book that I truly love to read and believe to have really helped our marriage is Debi Pearl's book Created to be His Help Meet. There is a chapter in there about reverencing the husband. Although I do have some beliefs that are different from her writings, for instance I believe that you can revere hubby by dressing modestly, and covering when out in public and also I believe in scriptural polygyny and she doesn't I have found this to be a wonderful book full of lots of knowledge that is very helpful.

Kara
 
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