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Seriously - No Feed back- Shared Responses?!

F

Faithful Servant

Member
Hey there!

Just checking in with my peeps, as our kiddos say! LOL, yes I'm losing it in my ripe old age of 41 by trying to stay young, as my precious kiddos keep reminding me that I'm not cool! ;) Anywho I'm just a little disappointed that no one is feeling led to share about their journey with pm, on more of a detailed personal note. :( Not inappropriate details mind you, just looking for those of us lovely ladies here, that felt called to pm before their dh's did. As I've shared before I seem to be in this "group, if you will," of ladies in Christ who are feeling the call to pm first in their marriages. I have also been in discussion with my dear friend Lutherangirl, who is pretty much "in the same boat," regarding this very topic that I and a few others here are or have been in. Again if my memory serves me correctly (which is debatable these days) :lol: , I believe that either Kelly Deeann or Shari or both were also in this particular situation at one point within their marriages as well.

So to wrap this mini-novel up here, I'm not looking for a 4 page essay or anything! ;) I do however feel that your shared nuggets of learned wisdom, helpful tips & any advice, could be a huge source of added wisdom and a helpful blessing to those of us who "are in this boat,as they say." Well no pressure on my part, please forgive me if I'm too pushy as I don't wish to be a hindrance to anyone here. But one of the reasons I believe that we woman come here, is for Godly/Sisterly loving and caring support & advice. Which is hard to share or receive, when no one is responding. I do realize that we all have our own personal lives to attend to, with very busy schedules & that it isn't possible to always get a response on every topic. After all, God first, family, Church(home church,etc) & then friends should be our Godly -divine order for our lives. Just thought this topic may be an important one, to the many wives, couples & families that come here in the beginning stages of their research & study of pm. Anywho, thanks for hearing me out & for your fellowship & shared wisdom in the Lord over this past year! :D Take care and keep on keeping on with Yeshua, family & friends. Go forth in His Might, Power & Love.

Warm Wishes,
FOR HIS GLORY ALONE,
Faithful(not perfect)Servant ;)
 
FS,

Well, since you know my story, I won't drag on and on. However, what I'm learning is that it is easier on this side of the fence to accept it, but when and if my husband really starts dating someone else that will be another level of emotions that won't all be easy or pleasant at first. So for right now, I've talked about it with my hubby and that is all I can do now. I would say that he is in the driver's seat (I should say passenger seat, because God should actually be driving the bus) if he wants to add a sw or two to our family.

I've received great advice from another wonderful sister-in-Christ, like yourself, here who shared that even if my family remains mono that I could still be a friend to a poly-sister-in-Christ, who might have lost friends and family by their choice to live poly.

With this great advice, I have peace knowing that God revealed the truth to me to be able to support others even if He didn't reveal for our family to live it out.

Blessings to you and, as always, I'm praying for you and your family regarding this issue!

Michelle
 
lutherangirl said:
FS,

I've received great advice from another wonderful sister-in-Christ, like yourself, here who shared that even if my family remains mono that I could still be a friend to a poly-sister-in-Christ, who might have lost friends and family by their choice to live poly.

With this great advice, I have peace knowing that God revealed the truth to me to be able to support others even if He didn't reveal for our family to live it out.

Michelle
Click to expand...

Michelle, I think that is a beautiful thought and that should not be downplayed in any way. For those of us living PM, it would be such a blessing to have friends who just support us but not necessarily living it. I really don't want to have ONLY poly families for friends, you know?!?

Heather
 
In our family, it was myself who came to the conviction of PM first. Like LutheranGirl said, it may not be the intention for us to ever live it though and our role may be just to support those who do. Either way I am fine with it.

We moved past the accepting phase a while ago and have dated a few times, though unsuccessfully. Yes, the emotions that surface during the dating part no matter how well you thought it out are a new ball game entirely. I've grown and stretched and learned from it all though and figured out how to handle the issues that arise. Yes, there will always be other issues too but I've learned how to prepare for it and how to guard my heart and how to communicate with hubby when those times come. Still, all said, if we never live PM, I am totally okay with it.

See, through the negative experiences (one who decided to go a different direction despite the love, a second who was not a fit to put it mildly, and a third we only spoke too but she turned out to be one of those girls looking to scam and she found a better sucker) I learned that hubby loves me very much and regardless of who comes our way, my place in his life is secure. However, I also learned some other very valuable lessons. For starters, to be honest, my life will not be made better by the presence of a sister wife. My marriage is great and there is no hole that needs to be filled or sadness I feel by not having one. My children are growing up and I am enjoying very much the freedom that comes with that to get out and go and do things. Honestly, the thought of starting over bothers me a LOT. It doesn't mean I could not adjust things to help a new wife with her children and I am sure hubby would be over the moon, but to be honest, I will not be a baby sitter and get stuck at home with babies again. I did my time. LOL.

I guess, while I am still willing to live this life is God sends the right person along, I don't NEED to live this life to be happy and fulfilled. Not sure if I am really making sense. I have found through the process of getting to know many poly families that the problems really tend to outweigh the benefits, especially for the women. We want to have rose-colored lenses about it but seeing the real deal and getting close to marrying, I can tell you that it is harder and more complicated. I am only still willing I think because I'm no longer having babies and enjoying the new levels of independence that comes with older children.

Most people think the sex will be the hardest part. That, to be honest, is nothing. Where the true rubber meets the road is the manipulation, time sharing, and competition. It happens, it is a reality. Those that would tell me (even those already living PM) it does not happen in *their* home are deluding themselves. Well, that or they are the ones taking top dog status so things are golden for them. No matter how much the man tries to claim he will be equal and fair, the reality is there are lots of times when he won't be and he can't be.

Even with all that, I am still willing to live it if the right person comes along. We are extremely picky having learned all that we have over the last few years and seeing what we have seen. My reasons have changed though and what I am willing to do and not do have changed too. There is a family local to us that lives PM of sorts and watching them made me think seriously about whether I wanted it. They were/are a horrible example of PM and I will be honest, if it was to be that way then I would never live PM. The man is lazy and does not work but sends his wives out to earn the money. He is not fair and equal with his time with two and now they want to bring in the third. The second wife is manipulative and controlling and is the *real* boss of the household and she treats everyone around her horribly. The kids do not get much attention really and are more like servants to the adults. They are not family centered at all... they are centered around the adult sexual relationships. After watching that unfold for several months, I was so sick that I went through several months of soul searching on whether I really wanted PM.

Luckily for me, I know many other PM families and have gotten to know them. I did find that the local family is somewhat of a joke in the poly community and what they live is not true biblical PM but a form of polyamory. However, even through my "normal" PM friends, I have learned that jealousy and a bit of competition are still going to happen. The factor that affects the success and happiness of the wives the most is not their reaction or conviction, but how the husband handles the situation. No man is perfect, but the man who takes his call seriously and goes out of his way to be available, compassionate, and not show favoritism while leading his home and not abdicating his authority, that is the man who manages to be the most successful in having all wives happy.

Yeah, this is long. I just want us to all step back and get the rose glasses off though. We must be realistic about it. Especially for those of us who as women were called first (and honestly, to me, I think that is a God thing and probably the biggest indicator of success in the end since it is not forced on us as an ultimatum), we need to evaluate the seasons of our lives and we need to evaluate if our husbands have our hearts. I suspect for most of us, our men do have our hearts and our trust or we would not be willing to consider it.

So, where am I... I am willing to live it if the situation arises. I still believe in PM. If I were widowed I would consider a PM. However, I will not back track to baby days and I will not be the slave of another woman's whims. I am my own person and a child of the King. I raised my children and stayed home with them and a sister wife will have to do the same. I will still go visit my friends and do the activities outside the home that I waited over a decade to do and not be relegated to a house mouse again to suit the whims of another woman. I did it and so can she... In short, I will accept her but her happiness is up to her and her relationship with our husband is between them and them alone. I have come to the understanding that while we are one family, truly the marriages are separate and I will worry about my marriage and she can worry about hers. The biggest cause for failure in this world seems to be interference of the other wife into the marriage that is not hers. No, I am not okay with living in separate houses (many reasons but financial is the big one because if I have to pay for me and my kids by myself then truly, what good is having a husband), but the family is one and the marriages are separate.

I doubt we will find the right person though. Most of the single ladies out there seem to be too young or are scam artists or have so much damage. We almost got taken by one and are thankful to have missed that by a mile. Another was too broken and damaged and was spreading her issues to my children until even hubby could not stand the sight of her anymore. Normal girls wishing to live PM... I think so very few really exist. The ones not damaged or trying to pull a con, well, I have a sinking feeling they7 go into it thinking they will take the man for themselves and attempt to displace the wife... When he won't do it, they stay because they love him but it is not what they truly wanted.

I'm jaded. Three strikes. But, seriously, it is time we were honest about the issues facing us. Just because you came to the conviction first, in the reality of things, ask yourself WHY you really want it. Don't try to paint a pretty picture because it doesn't really exist and reality will blind side you later. Consider the worst and the darkest... and only after you have decided you can accept it and trust God to grow you through it, then move forward.

Becca
 
Thanks for sharing Becca. I am sorry you have had such bad experiences but hopefully if PM is for your family, it will happen naturally and will be such a perfect fit there won't be any doubts. It is good to take off the rose colored glasses and consider the issues. I'm still new to this so I'm not the person to speak too much on it. From my experience so far though, PM really forces you to deal with your flesh...which is a good thing, but it is a painful process. I'm hoping I've worked through the bulk of that. At the same time though, I'm in the second week of having SW living with us and the benefits totally outweigh the uncomfortable moments. Hubby used to try to tell me how great this would be for me, but I couldn't get past certain things. But now, I feel so blessed to have SW here...she is such a wonderful person and I have so much fun with her. My days are flying by b/c I enjoy her company so much and of course, she is a huge help. I don't think I should ever be lonely again. Now I'm wondering, "What was my deal?" :lol: I am trying to not be naive about everything, but it does almost seem to good to be true at this moment. Right now, my only concern is public opinion. Aside from that, I can't complain.

Just thought I'd share...it always helps to hear positive things about PM, right?!?
 
Heather,

I'm here if you need a mono friend. :D

Becca,

You really put a lot of heart and soul into your post. I'm sorry that you had a few bad experiences in the past. Thanks for being so brave and open enough to share with us here. I needed to hear the good, bad, and the ugly sides of pm. I like to stay positive in my thinking and trust in the Lord in all things, but you need to hear the realities of marriage no matter what kind. You brought out points that I didn't even consider like "the woman who is top dog" and "very few women are actually ready for a healthy pm."

It's interesting that we share common factors: we brought pm up first with our husbands, our marriages are strong :D , sometimes the "Ross colored glasses" need to come off, and we are enjoying freedom from having older children :D .

No matter what turns out for all of us ladies here, I'm so blessed that the Lord has lead me to this site to learn and grow with like-minded Sisters in Christ.

Michelle
 
Yes, Becca, you wrote a thing or two with which I could identify: God has blessed my marriage with Ray so much, that I feel completely secure in Christ as He continues to knit us together. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that Ray loves me and that I love him. We are committed for life, and happy to be so! We don't NEED another woman in our lives to make us complete. We don't NEED more children in our household because of some perception that something's missing. Yet if God wants to add more (and He rarely does things to order as if He were a waiter!), then as Good Shepherd, Master, Redeemer, and King, we will embrace that, with prayer and open ears.

Lately, our children and I have been reviewing the memory verse Matthew 10:16-- "'Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves; therefore be shrewd as serpents, and innocent as doves.'" This was to the disciples as they were being sent out to preach the gospel, and to us as we strive to shine the light of Christ in a dark world, in our homes, neighborhoods, and often further. Marriage in Christ, whether monogamously or polygynously, is a huge decision, full of surrender to the Lord's plan as shown through His word and His revealing of the application of that word to each family.

As far as being spoken to first: it was only a matter of maybe two or three days for me, and obviously I was (and still am) asking, "Am I hearing You correctly, Lord?" Then Ray responded to my statement that I thought God might be calling me to open my home to such a life. So there was never any shock, argument, frustration from him, wondering what I was talking about. Maybe shock, knowing that 99.9999999% of women, including me, would normally say, "Over my dead body!" So I'm not sure I can offer too much advice about, what if your husband isn't on board. Overall, it seems it comes back to who is leading. What's a woman to do if her husband doesn't know the Lord at all, or is distant in his relationship with Him, or is not leading where she thinks he should?

There were times in my life previously to Ray, that I sensed I might be called to be a missionary. I love to talk about God, especially to a non-believer who's interested! When I met Ray, I found that he was a homebody. :D Am I unfulfilled? Compromised? No way. I was also a school teacher. We are changing the world through evangelizing and discipling our children. We are shining the light of Christ at the doctor's office, the grocery store, and at the YMCA. I am the Lord's. We are the Lord's. I don't NEED to be a missionary, and don't still pine away at what might have been in any certain country.

If God speaks to us as wives, I believe that it is to prepare us, to invite us to be ready for His lead through our husbands when and if that comes. How wonderful for him to find that we are already on the same page with him as we follow Christ together. But boy, am I thankful for the many times I had silly ideas that never panned out, and my husband either put a nix on them, or he just never led in that direction. "For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord gives grace and glory; no good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly." --Psalm 84:11. This covers all things, from basic human needs, to desires. God has bought us with the blood of Christ; He owns us, and we can trust Him at all times.

Finally, we need to take an example from Queen Esther. She had a beautiful humility and willingness to show honor to her husband. God spoke to her, but she never dishonored her nonbelieving husband. God showed her what to do, and He can show all wives specifics as to timing, and manner of carriage. Are we joyful, cheerful, and cheerleader? Or judgemental, frowning, complaining? She let her beauty shine, and it made God's ways attractive to her husband. We can have a song in our hearts, keep trusting, and see where He leads them. We can cheer them on, and support the growth of the kingdom as He directs!

Love, Kelly Deanne :)
 
Kelly Deanne,

Thanks so much for once again being so sweetly & strongly transparent with your timely shared thoughts & convictions! :D I've really enjoyed getting to know so many of you lovely Sisters in Christ here over the last year. I've learned allot through Yeshua and many others here on this journey of pm. Lutherangirl, my dear Sweet Friend & Sister in the Lord - I cannot thank you enough for your friendship and all the blessings that have come along with it! You are an Awesome, Strong, Sweet & Faithful Servant of the Lords and for your dh. I pray God's will be done in your marriage & family, as I know that you seek His will above all else. As we both seem to "be in the same boat, regarding pm and being called to it first," I so appreciate your kind heart felt/Godly shared wisdom and encouragement. As you have the art of building others up & not tearing them down. As many of the lovely ladies here also possess that fine art of encouragement & Godly advice. :)

I've also really appreciated Kelly Deanne as of late, for taking the time to connect with me on a personal note to offer up encouragement, support & advice as well. I look forward to connecting with you more in the future, Lord willing & as time permits of course. Thanks for the clarification regarding pm and how to proceed forward, especially when our dh's may not be feeling a %100 convicted or led in this way. I fully agree with your Godly advice with that, as that is how I've been trying to handle "this prompting/call towards pm." I agree with you that it isn't un-godly for those of us wives who were called first to pm, to be a Sweet, Humble, Respectful & Obedient source of encouragement to our dh's in this area. Again I agree that we should not be nags, whiners or complainers about anything, especially with pm! Also we need to be careful to keep this issue of pm lifted in prayer for Yeshuas will to be done above all else in all matters. Just as I shared about the Christian woman married to an unsaved husband, we can Sweetly & obediently plant the seeds, & then step aside and let the Lord do the work that only He can do. And then follow our dh's at all times no matter where they may lead, except not following into sin of course! ;)

I also feel as others here who have shared, that I don't Need or Have to have a plural family in order to feel complete or fulfilled in this life. We are content, secure, happy & fulfilled in the marriage that God has blessed us with. We will continue on the path that God puts us on, including any new path that may include pm. I do Love, understand, respect and so value my dh, as he professes his undying love & devotion to me and our family! As it melts my heart, blesses my socks off & means the world to me! And through this declaration of his, I'm finding much security, peace & joy in my marriage & within my position in his heart. He is growing in the Lord, and desiring to be the Godly/Servant Leader of our home. As he's beginning to pray on his own about pm, seeking God's will in it all, and is even bringing the topic up with me from time to time. When he does, I do my best to just remain faithful & quite and follow his lead.

Becca, I'd also like to thank you for sharing your heart & journey with pm with us. I'm so very sorry for the turmoil and heart ache or confusion your journey with pm has caused you! I do agree with you also, that no we shouldn't go through our lives with "Rose colored glasses on," regarding any matter or issue in our lives. That's why I've so strongly felt led to open up these types of discussions here, to share, encourage , support, study together & build one another up in Christ. As through Christ, we are all able to learn from each other. You seem to be a Strong woman in the Lord, and I pray His will be done in your life. That you receive the healing, restoration & joy for your journey in this life that only Christ can give! :) I pray that you allow Him to move in and through you & your dear husband, and allow the healing process to begin. I feel so much pain in your shared testimony, mixed with much learned wisdom of course. Lets all believe together, God's best for our lives as we remain faithful, loving & obedient to Him and our dh's alone. Remain Steadfast, Faithful, Obedient, Sweet & Strong in our walks of faith & in our Godly examples to the world around us. In doing so, being open to any and all calls that Christ may place on our lives weather remaining mono or plural in our marriages. Learning, supporting and growing together as Sisters & Friends in Christ! I cannot thank you ladies enough. Go forth in His Might, Power, Love & a Sound Mind. Being a blessing to others on the path that He has placed us on, and being blessed in return for the True/Pure Motives of our hearts! :D

Warm Wishes for Yeshua's Provisions, Wisdom & Joy!
FRIENDS & SISTERS IN YESHUA,
F.S. :)

I PRAY THAT I BE NOT A HINDRANCE!
PROVERBS 3:5-8
 
My story has a bit of a twist .......... my dh asked for 'another wife' starting a few years into our marriage, and he would bring it up from time to time over the years. I always thought he was crazy - or most likely just joking! He never pressed the issue, nor went into any detail on 'why' he would ask such a thing -- so, one day (about 20+ years later) I began to research the issue for myself. I read both sides - for and against - and quickly found that the side 'for' PM is based solidly on scripture, while the side 'against' was based more on cultural beliefs and opinion than on scriptures (and most of the scriptures they use for the 'against' argument do not specifically refer to PM!) I hadn't told him I had been researching this subject for quite some time-- so, when I came to him with my 'newly-found' knowledge, it kind of 'blew his socks off' as to him it looked like I had changed my mind 'out of the blue' ..........however, unlike other 'first wives' who bring the topic up, because he had already had an inner conviction regarding PM I didn't have to do any 'convincing' (And that, my friends, is an understatement ;) )

You can probably piece together at least some of our 'journey' through other posts I have written (some when this forum first started - and some more recent)........and, I can tell you it hasn't been an easy road for any of us -- but I can also tell you that I absolutely would not trade one moment if I had to give up who I have become through it all!!! If any wife -- first, second, or so on -- has any unresolved issues in their life - I guarantee you they will surface when you begin to embrace the concept of PM, and if they are not dealt with then, you will most certainly be dealing with them once you are in a PM!

Commitment and communication are KEY factors - which even if shaky at first, CAN be developed. If you think a mono-relationship takes work - you can more than triple the effort due to the dynamics created in a PM (it is not just 1+1=2 --- but there are many relationships within the marriage ------ two 'marriages' of 1+1=2, then the SW/SW relationship, then the three working together as a family, then the combined families of each marriage......) And that is if there are only two wives........ (and is probably why God instructed men not to 'multiply' wives for himself -- as you can see the number of relationships created by adding each wife would create more than just one more relationship!) I am not trying to state this in a negative fashion at all.........just stating the logistics - which, when taken into consideration can help someone prepare themselves better.

My second biggest piece of advice is to remember that all healthy relationships have limits and boundaries. These, along with expectations, are things that must be communicated – and, even though women take hints better than (most) men -- no one is a mind reader.

Last of all, speaking from personal experience, I believe it would be easier for both women to have their children during the same time frame. This has been probably one of the bigger struggles we have had to work through as SW's children are ages 8 - 13, and mine are all grown, with the exception of raising one of our granddaughters (who is 15 next week). The last of mine were moving out shortly after SW joined us almost nine years ago – and hers were all under five at the time. But, this difference has not made things impossible – instead of doing things like watching each other’s children to help each other out – we have each had to ‘give’ in other ways in order that each can have their needs met in ‘where they are at’ in life’s journey (For example: SW needing help with raising children who are still at home – and for me, making our grandchildren a part of our lives – so they are not all grown up before we even have a chance to get to know them). All relationships are about ‘giving and receiving’ but it is not a 50/50 thing --- it is each person giving 100% for the good of the other, and each person being able to fully receive what the other is able to give. This definitely doesn’t happen ‘naturally’ as it is human nature to be selfish – but, through Christ we CAN do ALL things!

Shari

“That I may know Christ and the power of His resurrection….” Phil 3:10
 
Hey there Lovely Ladies in Christ!

Just feel the need to extend a "Big ol Shout of Thanks to my Sisters in Christ!" I very much appreciate that you all have taken the time to be so transparent, opening your hearts by the sharing of your own personal journeys with pm. Your shared nuggets of Godly wisdom has been very timely, helpful, challenging - as a challenge to grow in the Lord, and very encouraging to say the least! :D

I do realize that we're all different & uniquely created by our heavenly father, as we each have different giftings & calls on our lives/marriages. We all may or may not be at the same place spiritually in our walks of faith either. But together, united in Christ we can all grow closer to God and one another. Learning, supporting, Speaking the Truth in Godly Love, all together in God's very diverse family! :D I also realize until we've "walked a mile in some one elses shoe's, or until the theory & study of pm becomes an actual reality," we shouldn't stand in harsh judgments of others, feeling that we need to set them straight! Unless someone is in gross moral sin of course. Thankfully here for the most part, I've received nothing but Godly wisdom, love, support & encouragement! So in this season of quite surrender unto the Lord, for His will to be done in my marriage, and through this time that He's blessing me with the study & soulful preparation of pm, I'm very thankful to all of you here for your kind help along my path of discovery with pm! :D Take care, being God-lead & being blessed!

Warm Wishes,
FRIENDS & SISTERS IN CHRIST,
F.S.
 
very interesting responses,d with lots of wisdom from others who have gone through things. I myself was against the whole idea and frantic when my husband was presenting the info. Not to say the least, I began to be convicted and found out I should pray deeply about the issue, just like anything else God shows us, then the whole transformation process began.
God changed my mind, and helped me to realize more about man, and how He created them. I'm thankful for this wisdom, because I at an early point in my marriage wondered about why it mentioned about multiple wives in the bible, but yet I never hear or see anything about it today.
Well I believe God showed me that and opened my eyes then, because I wanted to know, just to scared to ask. God was steady working on me, planting things in my heart. Then later after husband and I researched I later found this site, which was a tremendous help. Thank you ladies for sharing your journey's. I have some of my own... as well. but nothing to serious, I don't know if we will ever find a women who will agree upon plural marriage, but God willing it will happen. So far no luck, getting them to understand is not easy.
 
I'm excited to see that I am not the only one! PM was placed on my heart first & after much prayer and thorough studying did I suggest it to my DH.

A little background on us: High school sweethearts that married at 20 and have been married for 12 years. We have three incredible children. After our last son fractured both of my hips during delivery, I am no longer able to have children. We'd have more in an instant if we could! Extremely active in our non-denom church and lead a marriage communication course there as well. We have a strong view of what marriage is and in the recent past have become more aware of the realities of the need for Plural Marriage in our society that is severely lacking two parent homes (at the least). We are fairly main-stream/modern but do stand out because we've chosen to home school our children. We also stand out because we're among the few (at least in our parts) that believe a mother's place is in the home, so I am a "homemaker".

Plural Marriage has ALWAYS intrigued me and I have always "secretly" desired to live this way. Only after a persistent "nudging" did I really start searching for biblical back up, if you will. Boy oh, boy, was I surprised! Pleasantly so! So what did I do, you ask? I prayed some more!!! I prayed until I couldn't even think of denying what was being opened up before me. Finally, it was time to approach my Darling with the "back up" I had found along with the flat out, incredible peace and "knowing" that our life will likely go this direction. So, it was a huge disappointment to me when he said "NO WAY!". I have to say that I wasn't at all surprised. In his words, he couldn't imagine trying to love someone else and certainly had no desire to start completely over. He agreed to begin including it in our prayer time with me and would read all that I had found. Low and behold, he came home from work exactly one week later and said that he can't deny that it's truly a form of biblical marriage. At that point we began praying for direction, discernment, and clarity. Soon after we began praying for our next wife. We pray for her today, whoever she is, where ever she is. We came close little while back and it was very upsetting when it fell through. It's taken some months to heal and now we're bock out looking again. And by "looking" I mean open to what Heavenly Father has in store for us and Praying! Praying! Praying!

My parents know where we stand on the issue and agree that it's biblical. We've not told them exactly that we are moving in that direction, we will when the time comes. DH's family will FLIP if/when they find out. We are preparing for that. We did confide in our best friends last year and tragically have not heard from them or been able to contact them since. That has been very difficult. We do know that this is an absolutely sacrificial way of life on many different levels and we accept that wholeheartedly. I looking forward to making lifelong friends through this amazing site!
 
i am not practicing p m - in fact i'm a widow. i am LDS/Mormon - but i try to put Jesus before sectarian differences as is expressed in Romans 14 - whole chapter - i am friends with a household, not on here, that practice polygamy - the Husband used to be a Deacon in His church but recently mentioned he is no longer. i don't know if that's because he resigned or because he was asked to leave, perhaps due to the p m. i'm sure when they want to tell me they will. And i am trying to be supportive of his first woman - the legal wife - who is a good e-mail buddy of mine.

i want to say that i have learned so much from all kinds of sisters-in-Jesus practicing p m. i have a character trait of being insecure which can result in jealousy and i've taken to reading books, watching t v shows, etc. on p m because i think i can learn a lot from you all about overcoming that particularly nasty shortcoming.

i just want to say i think you all have great courage - not only for the P m but for being public about it on this web-site.

(i am remaining LDS/Mormon because my late Husband was a Priest and Elder in that faith and i know that is what HE wanted me to do - and we did practice the wives submission to the Husband idea in our marriage. i also am not dating or remarrying because that is what he wanted and with good reasons too, so i accepted that and promised him i would do that.

anyways, i just want to try to support my dear friend in what her and her husband -the former deacon - are doing.
(MRS) judith LABONTE ("Granny" Matrika / Rolling Buffalo Woman) p s pardon my capitalization, my 'shift' key on my computer keyboard has gone a bit crazy!
 
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