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Shiloh introduction

S

Shiloh.F

Member
Male
Hello everyone, been lurking on here for a few weeks now. I rarely put myself out on the internet but the quality of the discussions on some very meaty topics as well as the apparent enthusiasm of the believers here was too good to pass up.
I’ll start by saying that the overview of the verses and arguments for plural, (biblical), marriage on your home page was a huge blessing for me. It not only confirmed many of the verses I was looking at and how I was coming to understand them, but connected many other dots and scriptures that likely would have taken me years to put together on my own. So thank you.
I am married, my wife and I are in our early thirties and have been blessed with multiple boys and are expecting our second girl! A couple years ago when God first started putting the subject of polygamy on my heart we had a very good academic discussion about it. Since I have found this forum and really come to understand new things, anytime I have tried to renew said academic discussion she has responded with the emotions most people get from their first wife it seems. (Almost as if the Enemy senses some kind of threat and is stoking fear in my beloved’s heart, hmm…)
Anyway, I have prayed for wisdom, which is promised to those who ask, and patience to lead my family whatever direction He has for us. I look forward to gleaning more of the wisdom and experience found here.
The peace and mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you all.
 
Shalom and welcome!!
 
Thank you, @Shiloh.F, for your thoughtful and thorough introduction -- and welcome here. I very much look forward to getting to know you and pray we will have many opportunities to contribute to you and be contributed to by you.
 
Welcome!
 
Welcome to Biblical Families!
If your wife is interested, we have a ladies chat on Monday nights, 7.30pm Eastern time. The chat is at the top of the page. She'll need her own account to access it. We're there to listen and to chat as needed, about poly, or anything else. Many of us have been where she is now, emotional and afraid.
And congrats on the pending wee girl! We have 5 boys and 2 girls :).
 
Keith Martin said:
Thank you, @Shiloh.F, for your thoughtful and thorough introduction -- and welcome here. I very much look forward to getting to know you and pray we will have many opportunities to contribute to you and be contributed to by you.
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Thank you sir! My prayer as well, I believe I remember you writing somewhere on here you have a hard time trusting people that don’t post picture and/or use their real name, hoping you can look past my current lack of a selfie and any initial vagueness lol
 
FollowingHim2 said:
Welcome to Biblical Families!
If your wife is interested, we have a ladies chat on Monday nights, 7.30pm Eastern time. The chat is at the top of the page. She'll need her own account to access it. We're there to listen and to chat as needed, about poly, or anything else. Many of us have been where she is now, emotional and afraid.
And congrats on the pending wee girl! We have 5 boys and 2 girls :).
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Thanks @FollowingHim2, I’ve been thinking about how bring it up to her. She’s followed me through several challenging life choices and directions before, but” Hey babe, I think we should get involved in a polygamist ministry!” Is probably going to be taking it to the next level with her.
 
Welcome! Glad you found us and introduced yourself.

Just a few thoughts regarding your wife, this magnitude of thought change takes time so I would encourage you to start talking about it sooner than later. You know the hard moments are coming so you might as well have them sooner so to hopefully make the time spent in being of like mind longer. Second, when the time is right I highly recommend attending a retreat (well, once we actually have one) so your wife can see that she is not alone in her strange new journey. I generally don't say so much on an Introduction so forgive me if this seems like bombardment, just felt like it needed to be said to encourage you to be proactive. I am sure the Lord will direct your steps in it all.
 
julieb said:
Welcome! Glad you found us and introduced yourself.

Just a few thoughts regarding your wife, this magnitude of thought change takes time so I would encourage you to start talking about it sooner than later. You know the hard moments are coming so you might as well have them sooner so to hopefully make the time spent in being of like mind longer. Second, when the time is right I highly recommend attending a retreat (well, once we actually have one) so your wife can see that she is not alone in her strange new journey. I generally don't say so much on an Introduction so forgive me if this seems like bombardment, just felt like it needed to be said to encourage you to be proactive. I am sure the Lord will direct your steps in it all.
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Bombardment is not the vibe I have gotten here, more like welcoming and encouragement from everyone so far. Seems like good advice I will definitely take into consideration.
 
Shiloh.F said:
Thank you sir! My prayer as well, I believe I remember you writing somewhere on here you have a hard time trusting people that don’t post picture and/or use their real name, hoping you can look past my current lack of a selfie and any initial vagueness lol
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I am always of a mind to start off having no bias whatsoever toward those who prefer to remain anonymous. In fact, my assumption is that being anonymous is often the best strategy, especially when one is just getting the lay of a new land. Trust is built in increments, and it's built in a number of ways. Just the nature of your introduction inspires me to begin trusting you, @Shiloh.F, and I'm generally one who overtrusts rather than undertrusts, if that makes sense. The comments you're referring to about not trusting those who won't share their name or photo are actually directed towards folks who also make me wonder about trusting them when it comes to the comments they make here (or anywhere in my life).

Some of us regularly attend retreats. Some others attend more sporadically but it is a matter of having many considerations that get in the way of attending. The retreats/conferences/gatherings/whatever-one-calls-them are the actual Heart of this organization, and it is where the most substantive fellowship occurs. I was glad to hear that you weren't saying, "No," to attending a gathering, because @julieb is spot on: they are not just opportunities for the already-supportive to fellowship; they are also opportunities for hesitant wives to learn that they aren't alone in their reactions and their journeys.

Anyway, once you meet people in the flesh, it makes it easier to trust them. People can write anything that comes into their minds here online, but when you know you're going to see someone in person it changes the way you approach writing to them. And it makes it easier to trust them. The bottom line of what I'm saying is that, when I know I'm never going to meet someone, when they don't share their photo, and when I don't even know their name, that combination makes it much more difficult to trust them, but then when it becomes difficult to tell if they're here to be part of building each other up or here to sow division, discord and doubt, I just end up finding myself wondering if there's anything my soul can grab ahold of to justify trusting them.

You, our new friend, do not fall into that category. Please feel absolutely no pressure to tell us who you are or what you look like!

And, again, welcome!
 
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What he said!:)
 
^^^Makes perfect sense to me! I’ve heard several times about the ladies weekly discussions, (which my wife seemed willing to consider taking part in at some point, @julieb @FollowingHim2 , likely after the new year as we have family coming in town). Do the men have anything similar? Or are we all too stoic, or busy, for such things?
 
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