I wonder if any of you feel like you want to quit this lifestyle? Take heart, most of us have felt like quitting, sometimes or even many times. But never give up! It will get better as time goes by with Jesus on your side and He is! You must have patience with yourself and the other wives.
I know you often feel that whatever you try to do is not enough, or is not right with someone else, or that someone is picking on you (or complaining about you)again, or that your husband spends more time with 'her' than with you, or that you are not loved, or you are always having to pick up after 'so and so', or you are never appreciated by the others when you are really trying, etc. (You fill in the blanks)
We each go through these feelings, often! But we have learned to go to the husband with our feelings and he helps calm us down and then, in our nightly get together for a Bible Study, we discuss the situations (usually without naming names, unless one starts to lash out at another one) and usually come to a solution to the problem. We took many years to work out this course of action. We are so lucky that Ron listens to God!
We have made a list of which nights Ron is with us(each of us gets 2 nights), and the next day that wife makes dinner and cleans up (if she used the dishwasher, she empties it). We share chores and you will have to set a schedule as to who cleans the kitchen and when, who mops or vacumms the house and who dusts, etc. We try to follow these simple lists, sometimes the lists become blurred in our minds, but most often they work.
As women, you must keep in mind the hormones (or lack of them) can cause anyone to be critical of the others, be super sensitive, easily angered, or discouraged, etc and overwhelmed by the demands of the family. This will work itself out and, yes, it will give you patience!
Sometimes it seems as though there is no hope for succeeding, but you can do this thing, living this lifestyle. I think that if you find yourself in a poly home, that God has placed you there for a reason. You will discover that reason when you continually seek and ask God for it.
It takes time, it is not easy, but the rewards are many and wonderful if you try and wait on the Lord. You know that this all will depend on how the husband treats each of you. 'The buck stops with him.'
I know you can do this! Be of good cheer, God is there for each of you and, most important, never give up!
Here is a poem that I have kept in my mind and heart and it has encouraged me over the years:
"Don't you quit
When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit-
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.
Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a fellow turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out.
Don't give up though the pace seems slow -
You may succeed with another blow.
Often the goal is nearer than
It seems to a faint and faltering man;
Often the struggler has given up
When he might have captured the victor's cup;
And he learned too late when the night came down,
How close he was to the golden crown.
Success is failure turned inside out -
The silver tint in the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It might be near when it seems afar;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit -
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit. "
I know you often feel that whatever you try to do is not enough, or is not right with someone else, or that someone is picking on you (or complaining about you)again, or that your husband spends more time with 'her' than with you, or that you are not loved, or you are always having to pick up after 'so and so', or you are never appreciated by the others when you are really trying, etc. (You fill in the blanks)
We each go through these feelings, often! But we have learned to go to the husband with our feelings and he helps calm us down and then, in our nightly get together for a Bible Study, we discuss the situations (usually without naming names, unless one starts to lash out at another one) and usually come to a solution to the problem. We took many years to work out this course of action. We are so lucky that Ron listens to God!
We have made a list of which nights Ron is with us(each of us gets 2 nights), and the next day that wife makes dinner and cleans up (if she used the dishwasher, she empties it). We share chores and you will have to set a schedule as to who cleans the kitchen and when, who mops or vacumms the house and who dusts, etc. We try to follow these simple lists, sometimes the lists become blurred in our minds, but most often they work.
As women, you must keep in mind the hormones (or lack of them) can cause anyone to be critical of the others, be super sensitive, easily angered, or discouraged, etc and overwhelmed by the demands of the family. This will work itself out and, yes, it will give you patience!
Sometimes it seems as though there is no hope for succeeding, but you can do this thing, living this lifestyle. I think that if you find yourself in a poly home, that God has placed you there for a reason. You will discover that reason when you continually seek and ask God for it.
It takes time, it is not easy, but the rewards are many and wonderful if you try and wait on the Lord. You know that this all will depend on how the husband treats each of you. 'The buck stops with him.'
I know you can do this! Be of good cheer, God is there for each of you and, most important, never give up!
Here is a poem that I have kept in my mind and heart and it has encouraged me over the years:
"Don't you quit
When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit-
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.
Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a fellow turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out.
Don't give up though the pace seems slow -
You may succeed with another blow.
Often the goal is nearer than
It seems to a faint and faltering man;
Often the struggler has given up
When he might have captured the victor's cup;
And he learned too late when the night came down,
How close he was to the golden crown.
Success is failure turned inside out -
The silver tint in the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It might be near when it seems afar;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit -
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit. "
