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Three Hearts, One Love by Daniel Carter

Verifyveritas76

Seasoned Member
Real Person
Male
Just finished this book. I've read several books on poly now from multiple perspectives. This is my favorite to date! It is written from a closet LDS polygamist perspective. There are some Mormon references in it, but they are in no way overpowering or offensive. This book is simply a polygamist's autobiography of how he came to be polygamist while in the LDS and managed to still remain a member in good standing for apparently over 20 years as a polygamist. Great story! I could'nt put it down.
 
Will order it. Good sales job.

Funny thing, though, speaking of closet LDS.

In my search for areas of the country to move to, I searched homes on Zillow in SLC area in UT. So funny to see in many of the older homes in the area a "separate" entrance to an "apartment" within the home or in the basement with full kitchens, bathrooms, etc.

Bet there were/are many more closet polygamists in the LDS than we realize!
 
I read this book a while ago, but I can't say I had the same sort of positive reaction to it.

To me, it read like an idealized account of plural marriage. Guy is led to the principle by his angelic first wife giving him young hottie second wife, they endure the typical (external) hardships of a plural family, and live harmoniously in their home as one. Later on, their family is rocked by the arrival of young hottie third wife, but the second wife's nay to husband and first wife's yay is quickly resolved and forgotten. Life continues happily. I mean, really? The conflicts described in the book don't begin to touch on the reality experienced by myself and other families I know.

I imagine, if the book is genuinely nonfiction, that it was started by the husband and finished by a wife to be a sort of love story for their family rather than a deep, personal, and honest account of their experience in plural marriage. That is fine, but in the end it was just a light read for me.
 
The conflicts described in the book don't begin to touch on the reality experienced by myself and other families I know.

I'd be interested in your story. I'm very curious as to the reasons for family strife whether mono or poly.

I noticed the lack of fussing in the book but just attributed it to a cultural background that was a bit different from the normative American father/mother co-authority model. In most LDS families there is a baseline of patriarchy because the father is recognized as holding the priesthood for his family.
 
As I see it, every family and every marriage has its struggles. In the book, it seemed like the conflict arose primarily from external sources. Disapproving parents, disapproving church, etc. I find it hard to believe that there weren't major issues to touch on in the family relationships. I may be forgetting something since the last time I read the book was several months ago, but I don't recall seeing issues addressed. The only one I can remember was glossed over. As my husband pointed out to me just now, it was a picture painted with one-dimensional women, wives without depth.

I don't have a lot of conflict in my marriage, but there are issues that arise here and there. It's natural in the process of becoming a family, especially in a plural marriage. Every time you add a wife, you are shaking up the equation that has worked for you in the past.
 
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