I've gotten part of my brain back and I've been pondering, lol. Here's my musings, again.
One of the things that people expect to happen when you add another child into the family is for the first child to get jealous. There are all sorts of horror stories, and also advice given, on what to do when your first meets the new baby and realises they are not the centre of attention anymore.
We just added a new baby into the family, and I've noticed something. There is no jealousy coming from my children. There is no selfishness. There's no tantrums.
When we had our second I thought there might be some problems, but I wasn't sure. For 2 days James wouldn't look at me or talk to me and seriously pushed the boundaries. Well the rules and consequences remained the same, I still loved on him just as much, and 2 days later he was fine, that was the end of it. James now is the most excited child out of the lot when he finds out I'm pregnant again.
We've added another 5 children since then, and never had any problems. In fact, watching how my children all react to number 7 is fascinating. My second youngest (20 months) will throw tantrums because she can't cuddle him. All she wants to do is cuddle him all day long.
So, why do so many people have problems with jealousy in their older children? Because they expect it. I expected it would probably be the case with James, and I suppose it is harder going from 1 to 2. They think that it will be hard for their kids, and they subconsciously teach their children to be selfish. Because people are inherently selfish. Instead of thinking about how wonderful it is to add to the family, they're thinking about what is being taken away from the older child. Often our thoughts go to the negative or the worst case scenario. Society is filled with people who are thinking only about themselves, even though they may not realise that's what they're doing.
So, what happens when you teach your children that having another child is a blessing from YHWH and that it's a wonderful thing to expand the family? You remove selfishness. And what does it get replaced by? LOVE.
I see only love in they eyes of my children as they look at their new brother, as they laugh at the toddler, as they bring me nappies and cloths and cuddle a new born for me.
I've often heard women in plural marriages say that you need to die to self, and now I understand more what they mean. Adding to the family is not about taking away from anyone, and it can't be about selfishness. It's about love.
There's my waffle for the day, I can hear a little munchkin waking up for a feed
.
One of the things that people expect to happen when you add another child into the family is for the first child to get jealous. There are all sorts of horror stories, and also advice given, on what to do when your first meets the new baby and realises they are not the centre of attention anymore.
We just added a new baby into the family, and I've noticed something. There is no jealousy coming from my children. There is no selfishness. There's no tantrums.
When we had our second I thought there might be some problems, but I wasn't sure. For 2 days James wouldn't look at me or talk to me and seriously pushed the boundaries. Well the rules and consequences remained the same, I still loved on him just as much, and 2 days later he was fine, that was the end of it. James now is the most excited child out of the lot when he finds out I'm pregnant again.
We've added another 5 children since then, and never had any problems. In fact, watching how my children all react to number 7 is fascinating. My second youngest (20 months) will throw tantrums because she can't cuddle him. All she wants to do is cuddle him all day long.
So, why do so many people have problems with jealousy in their older children? Because they expect it. I expected it would probably be the case with James, and I suppose it is harder going from 1 to 2. They think that it will be hard for their kids, and they subconsciously teach their children to be selfish. Because people are inherently selfish. Instead of thinking about how wonderful it is to add to the family, they're thinking about what is being taken away from the older child. Often our thoughts go to the negative or the worst case scenario. Society is filled with people who are thinking only about themselves, even though they may not realise that's what they're doing.
So, what happens when you teach your children that having another child is a blessing from YHWH and that it's a wonderful thing to expand the family? You remove selfishness. And what does it get replaced by? LOVE.
I see only love in they eyes of my children as they look at their new brother, as they laugh at the toddler, as they bring me nappies and cloths and cuddle a new born for me.
I've often heard women in plural marriages say that you need to die to self, and now I understand more what they mean. Adding to the family is not about taking away from anyone, and it can't be about selfishness. It's about love.
There's my waffle for the day, I can hear a little munchkin waking up for a feed
.