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Tirtza Something that is heavy on my heart

Tirtza

Tirtza

Member
Real Person
Female
Shalom
I am new to this so please be patient. I am a massage therapist in Oklahoma. I have my own business. A year ago we meet our SW. We love her completely. She has been given to our family and it is like we have known each other forever. What is heavy on my heart is. My husband is worried about how people will see us and with me being.the provider for me and him. (Cause he got sick and had a triple bypass surgery and shoulder surgery just since November). That I will loss clients and since we rent he is worried about our landlord kicking us out or raising our rent. I'm at the point in this walk I'm good with people knowing cause it.is what I have chosen to live by and what I felt Hashem has leads us to. Do any of you ha e this worried and if so how do u over come it. Shalom
 
Blessings, @Tirtza .

What you have chosen as a lifestyle is perfectly acceptable before God. Live righteously and honorably seeking peace with others. There are many who will not understand, but what they think has no bearing on you, who you are or your value to God and His kingdom.

It is wise to be cautious in how and what you share with others, but also do not walk in fear. God is your provider and sustainer. Seek Him and let Him guide you.

Interestingly, much of the world doesn't care about your 'lifestyle,' and the few who do likely don't matter as much as we make it out to be. Their issue is with Hashem and His Word. Not you or your head.
 
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What he said/\ /\
Caution, especially when you are in business, is a good plan.
Fear is of the enemy and is the opposite of faith.

Yah has a plan and even if your worst fears are realized He is not blindsided. Walk with Him.
 
PeteR said:
Blessings, @Tirtza .

What you have chosen as a lifestyle is perfectly acceptable before God. Live righteously and honorably seeking peace with others. There are many who will not understand, but what they think has no bearing on you, who you are or your value to God and His kingdom.

It is wise to be cautious in how and what you share with others, but also do not walk in fear. God is your provider and sustainer. Seek Him and let Him guide you.

Interestingly, much of the world doesn't care about your 'lifestyle,' and the few who do likely don't matter as much as we make it out to be. Their issue is with Hashem and His Word. Not you or your head.
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Thank you u needed to hear that. Please pray for us. We feel so alone here. I had a friend for 9 years now and now she works t talk to me due to she thinks my husband is committing adulter. I tried to tell her and show her from the Torah. Her husband is like it's in Torah so what. But other friends are happy for us and said dont live in fear or hiding. That k you for you encourage words
 
Might I suggest, instead of trying to explain and reason, use scripture. But don’t tell using a personal paraphrasing. Say, ‘if you can explain this scripture to me and help me understand..’ and allow the Word, Gods live Word to speak. The Word is a living document and it will reach the heart faster than if you talked for weeks on end to that person. If they deny the Word, God will deal with their biases.
 
Phillip said:
Might I suggest, instead of trying to explain and reason, use scripture. But don’t tell using a personal paraphrasing. Say, ‘if you can explain this scripture to me and help me understand..’ and allow the Word, Gods live Word to speak. The Word is a living document and it will reach the heart faster than if you talked for weeks on end to that person. If they deny the Word, God will deal with their biases.
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Thank you.
 
I totally understand your fears.

We have fears too, we live in a small community. But we are not open about our opinions as of yet, we are still processing them ourselves.

Psalm 23 comes to mind - forgive me if I don't get the words just right 'though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for you are with me.'

Your fears are not 'meaningless' or 'invaild' but you are not alone.
 
Delta said:
I totally understand your fears.

We have fears too, we live in a small community. But we are not open about our opinions as of yet, we are still processing them ourselves.

Psalm 23 comes to mind - forgive me if I don't get the words just right 'though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for you are with me.'

Your fears are not 'meaningless' or 'invaild' but you are not alone.
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Thank you. Yes we live in a small town everyone knows everyone. It is so simple to understand. I dont fear as much as I did. You have all been so nice and encouraging me.
 
PeteR said:
It is wise to be cautious in how and what you share with others, but also do not walk in fear. God is your provider and sustainer. Seek Him and let Him guide you.
Click to expand...

Hi @Tirtza. The advice from Peter and those above is good and sound, and I would encourage you to take it to heart.

Solomon made it plain when he said, there is nothing new under the sun (Eccl. 1:9). You aren't the first and certainly won't be the last to have these thoughts and difficulties. My wives and I are in something of a similar battle with families and ex-friends. Some have - and still are - doing their best to make life difficult for us; destroying my business and investments, while spreading lies and slander about me. What I've learnt out of all this is it's those claiming to be Christians who are by far the most condemning while being unable to prove the accusations they make. When I have confronted them and asked them to show me from the Bible where I have broken God's law on e.g. adultery; asking them to define their terms biblically, they can't but falsely proof-text and make excuses for their lack of ability. This life in plural marriage is a very revealing lesson in the state of churchianity today and especially in regard to who genuinely believes what is written in the Bible. Stand steadfast in the truth and God will bless you for that. If you haven't done it already, I would encourage you and your family to memorize Psalm 1, and particularly the first three verses as it is the promise for God's blessing. It reads (NKJV); "Blessed is the man Who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, Nor stands in the path of sinners, Nor sits in the seat of the scornful; But his delight is in the law of the LORD, And in His law he meditates day and night. He shall be like a tree Planted by the rivers of water, That brings forth its fruit in its season, Whose leaf also shall not wither; And whatever he does shall prosper" (Psalm 1:1-3).
Shalom
 
frederick said:
Hi @Tirtza. The advice from Peter and those above is good and sound, and I would encourage you to take it to heart.

Solomon made it plain when he said, there is nothing new under the sun (Eccl. 1:9). You aren't the first and certainly won't be the last to have these thoughts and difficulties. My wives and I are in something of a similar battle with families and ex-friends. Some have - and still are - doing their best to make life difficult for us; destroying my business and investments, while spreading lies and slander about me. What I've learnt out of all this is it's those claiming to be Christians who are by far the most condemning while being unable to prove the accusations they make. When I have confronted them and asked them to show me from the Bible where I have broken God's law on e.g. adultery; asking them to define their terms biblically, they can't but falsely proof-text and make excuses for their lack of ability. This life in plural marriage is a very revealing lesson in the state of churchianity today and especially in regard to who genuinely believes what is written in the Bible. Stand steadfast in the truth and God will bless you for that. If you haven't done it already, I would encourage you and your family to memorize Psalm 1, and particularly the first three verses as it is the promise for God's blessing. It reads (NKJV); "Blessed is the man Who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, Nor stands in the path of sinners, Nor sits in the seat of the scornful; But his delight is in the law of the LORD, And in His law he meditates day and night. He shall be like a tree Planted by the rivers of water, That brings forth its fruit in its season, Whose leaf also shall not wither; And whatever he does shall prosper" (Psalm 1:1-3).
Shalom
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Double like.

I have written elsewhere that polygyny is a sieve or sifter of all who touch or are touched by it. The mere mention quickly reveals a person's heart. Personally, I believe it is a scalpel in Abba's hand for dividing bone and marrow while exposing error, falsehood and righteousness. I see it over and over again. One friend and acquaintance after another has been sifted. Most were found lacking. Those that remain are worth their weight in gold.
 
T
frederick said:
Hi @Tirtza. The advice from Peter and those above is good and sound, and I would encourage you to take it to heart.

Solomon made it plain when he said, there is nothing new under the sun (Eccl. 1:9). You aren't the first and certainly won't be the last to have these thoughts and difficulties. My wives and I are in something of a similar battle with families and ex-friends. Some have - and still are - doing their best to make life difficult for us; destroying my business and investments, while spreading lies and slander about me. What I've learnt out of all this is it's those claiming to be Christians who are by far the most condemning while being unable to prove the accusations they make. When I have confronted them and asked them to show me from the Bible where I have broken God's law on e.g. adultery; asking them to define their terms biblically, they can't but falsely proof-text and make excuses for their lack of ability. This life in plural marriage is a very revealing lesson in the state of churchianity today and especially in regard to who genuinely believes what is written in the Bible. Stand steadfast in the truth and God will bless you for that. If you haven't done it already, I would encourage you and your family to memorize Psalm 1, and particularly the first three verses as it is the promise for God's blessing. It reads (NKJV); "Blessed is the man Who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, Nor stands in the path of sinners, Nor sits in the seat of the scornful; But his delight is in the law of the LORD, And in His law he meditates day and night. He shall be like a tree Planted by the rivers of water, That brings forth its fruit in its season, Whose leaf also shall not wither; And whatever he does shall prosper" (Psalm 1:1-3).
Shalom
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Hank you I will. Yes my family has disowned me and my family but they dont know about.my s/w. And people at my business doesn't know. But.the one friend that does is against this and so we dont.talk
 
Lol i
Tirtza said:
T

Hank you I will. Yes my family has disowned me and my family but they dont know about.my s/w. And people at my business doesn't know. But.the one friend that does is against this and so we dont.talk
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Meant tank you
 
Tirtza said:
My husband is worried about how people will see us and with me being.the provider for me and him. (Cause he got sick and had a triple bypass surgery and shoulder surgery just since November).
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I want to address something I don't think others have: while it is generally the case that it is the role of the patriarch/husband to be the financial provider, exceptions are not only acceptable but also prove the rule. Sometimes circumstances or personalities necessitate role reversals. Clearly you are still respectful of your husband's headship, and this is the important consideration. It is only appropriate that you would step into the breach to protect your family. I applaud you and wish you grace, wisdom, strength and success in your current endeavors.
 
PeteR said:
Double like.

I have written elsewhere that polygyny is a sieve or sifter of all who touch or are touched by it. The mere mention quickly reveals a person's heart. Personally, I believe it is a scalpel in Abba's hand for dividing bone and marrow while exposing error, falsehood and righteousness. I see it over and over again. One friend and acquaintance after another has been sifted. Most were found lacking. Those that remain are worth their weight in gold.
Click to expand...
Hmm...I had wondered about this. Couldn't agree more. Just another level of refinement I sense...
 
Tirtza said:
Shalom
I am new to this so please be patient. I am a massage therapist in Oklahoma. I have my own business. A year ago we meet our SW. We love her completely. She has been given to our family and it is like we have known each other forever. What is heavy on my heart is. My husband is worried about how people will see us and with me being.the provider for me and him. (Cause he got sick and had a triple bypass surgery and shoulder surgery just since November). That I will loss clients and since we rent he is worried about our landlord kicking us out or raising our rent. I'm at the point in this walk I'm good with people knowing cause it.is what I have chosen to live by and what I felt Hashem has leads us to. Do any of you ha e this worried and if so how do u over come it. Shalom
Click to expand...

Well ultimately it’s your husbands decision to keep it quiet or not so you should obey his wishes. But I agree with @PeteR


PeteR said:
Blessings, @Tirtza .

What you have chosen as a lifestyle is perfectly acceptable before God. Live righteously and honorably seeking peace with others. There are many who will not understand, but what they think has no bearing on you, who you are or your value to God and His kingdom.

It is wise to be cautious in how and what you share with others, but also do not walk in fear. God is your provider and sustainer. Seek Him and let Him guide you.

Interestingly, much of the world doesn't care about your 'lifestyle,' and the few who do likely don't matter as much as we make it out to be. Their issue is with Hashem and His Word. Not you or your head.
Click to expand...
 
Everyone else addressed the poly wife thing, so I won't add to that, that's clearly one of the things on your heart, but I also heard in between the lines that you feel stuck financially. Maybe I misread that, but we often feel more free to obey Him and walk the way we want when we are free to and FEEL FREE to. You are a business owner, which is very freeing in many ways, you can make your own schedule, decide what you are paid, don't have to worry about the boss firing you tomorrow, etc... Do you do what you do because you feel like you have to in order to support your family, or because it's your calling, or both? Would you change something in your business if you didn't have bills to pay? Would you feel more free if you didn't have a landlord and owned your own home? Is money keeping you from owning your home? If money could change your life, or make you financially independent, what would you change? Would you change or is everything perfect financially? If you feel enslaved, I recommend the Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey. Biblical principles to financial freedom. Don't feel trapped. There is hope. He blesses our finances and we reap what we sow. If you have debt, Dave will use the Bible to show you hope to get out of it fast. If you want to save for a house but don't think you could save the money, he offers hope and ideas for that, too. We've been there, lived in a tiny trailer that was worth less than most people's cars, with 2 kids, but we knew it was temporary, and we saved to build a nice house with cash. If you don't owe rent to anyone, you won't sweat as much if you have a few clients dump you. If you had a passive income, like a few rentals, or some cash reserves in a ROTH IRA, wow, and you had a paid for home? You would have no worries about what to eat or where to live! I agree, you shouldn't fear, you're not immoral because there is a SW, but I would be wise as a serpent and not advertise it. Being discreet because of other people's reaction to it causing them to sin isn't a bad thing, because it does seem to make them sin, just like the Bible does. I'd die for the Bible, proud to get rocks thrown at me for that, but don't know if I want to die for the right to be in a SW household, not that I wouldn't be in a SW household, just wouldn't brag about it or put it in anyone's face. If people are dumb and try to ruin you, though, it helps if you have used wisdom to be proactive and make provisions for your household for such storms...
 
enlargeourtent said:
Everyone else addressed the poly wife thing, so I won't add to that, that's clearly one of the things on your heart, but I also heard in between the lines that you feel stuck financially. Maybe I misread that, but we often feel more free to obey Him and walk the way we want when we are free to and FEEL FREE to. You are a business owner, which is very freeing in many ways, you can make your own schedule, decide what you are paid, don't have to worry about the boss firing you tomorrow, etc... Do you do what you do because you feel like you have to in order to support your family, or because it's your calling, or both? Would you change something in your business if you didn't have bills to pay? Would you feel more free if you didn't have a landlord and owned your own home? Is money keeping you from owning your home? If money could change your life, or make you financially independent, what would you change? Would you change or is everything perfect financially? If you feel enslaved, I recommend the Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey. Biblical principles to financial freedom. Don't feel trapped. There is hope. He blesses our finances and we reap what we sow. If you have debt, Dave will use the Bible to show you hope to get out of it fast. If you want to save for a house but don't think you could save the money, he offers hope and ideas for that, too. We've been there, lived in a tiny trailer that was worth less than most people's cars, with 2 kids, but we knew it was temporary, and we saved to build a nice house with cash. If you don't owe rent to anyone, you won't sweat as much if you have a few clients dump you. If you had a passive income, like a few rentals, or some cash reserves in a ROTH IRA, wow, and you had a paid for home? You would have no worries about what to eat or where to live! I agree, you shouldn't fear, you're not immoral because there is a SW, but I would be wise as a serpent and not advertise it. Being discreet because of other people's reaction to it causing them to sin isn't a bad thing, because it does seem to make them sin, just like the Bible does. I'd die for the Bible, proud to get rocks thrown at me for that, but don't know if I want to die for the right to be in a SW household, not that I wouldn't be in a SW household, just wouldn't brag about it or put it in anyone's face. If people are dumb and try to ruin you, though, it helps if you have used wisdom to be proactive and make provisions for your household for such storms...
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Thank you. But.i love my job. I'm self employed I own my own massage Therapy . I will look into the debt thing we are not.in debt except our car. Which has one.more year. But Hashem put me in my business to help people.
 
Tirtza said:
Shalom
I am new to this so please be patient. I am a massage therapist in Oklahoma. I have my own business. A year ago we meet our SW. We love her completely. She has been given to our family and it is like we have known each other forever. What is heavy on my heart is. My husband is worried about how people will see us and with me being.the provider for me and him. (Cause he got sick and had a triple bypass surgery and shoulder surgery just since November). That I will loss clients and since we rent he is worried about our landlord kicking us out or raising our rent. I'm at the point in this walk I'm good with people knowing cause it.is what I have chosen to live by and what I felt Hashem has leads us to. Do any of you ha e this worried and if so how do u over come it. Shalom
Click to expand...

I spoke to an attorney who advised that as long as we don't file taxes together or cause any problems, for example domestic violence, that there's very little likelihood we would ever be prosecuted for polygamy.


It's a very difficult balance for us all...but still worth it!
 
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