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Weddings and Rings

Nikismom

Nikismom

Member
Could I get some suggestions on types of ceremonies and rings you ladies have seen, had or received?

Hubby wanted me to help him plan a wedding for he and A so that it will be very romantic and intimate. He wants us to make a commitment to Serve the Lord together, and serve each other, and he wanted me to help pick out a ring.

I wear a gold band and that is it. She said she would like a ring to be simple. I was wondering do any of you have rings that are similar to each other's or that match or is each wife's ring completely different?

Also does anyone have a sample of some vows?
 
I am interested to hear the answers to this question. I have heard mention of a "family ring" though I have no real idea what that is. This may be a good general discussions quesiton, as the Men may also have valuble input.

Amy
 
we are planning a family service, where all 4 of us will be joined together as a body. We chose a simple band with each of our birthstones in it. They all 4 will match. That way its fair. My sisters have their own engagement rings, and they are very different. I haven't gotten mine yet, nor do I care if I get one.

As far as vows go, i'd love to see some ideas too!
 
Dear Nikismom,

Sorry for the late reply. I have attended three plural marriage ceremonies over the years. They were all different! One was close to what we would call a modern wedding, except for the first wife being the bridesmaid. Another one was a simple ceremony with vows exchanged, that they had written, with witnesses all around supporting them. The first wife had to attend via phone for various reasons. The last one was just a celebration of commitments made prior between the man and these two ladies. It was the "reception" if you will. All of these families exchanged rings. My point is, that you should do it the way you find meaningful, beautiful and fun. Some ladies really want that public or at least family recognition while others are not so concerned about that. It really just depends on the personallities of the ladies and the financial abilities that the family has.

There is no right way or wrong way to show to each other and the world that you are committed to each other. One last commit though...be sure to communicate well with each other, be truthful and sensitive to all that are involved about what is important.

Blessings,
Julie
 
Hi Nikki'smom,

We kind of have this tradition in my family. Mind you though that I was not raised polygyn. However, all the women have a traditional celtic wedding band as we come from an Irish background. The ring is called a Claddagh Court ring and the husbands ring does match.
I am placing a link so you can look and see what they look like.

http://www.celtic-weddingrings.com/Clad ... t-P33.html

I hope that this helps with some ideas.
Liz
 
Thanks ladies. The Claddagh ring is quite popular and I do love it. I think will discuss it with whomever God chooses for my sw! :) I'm really looking forward to seeing that happen!
 
Yes the Claddaugh is quite popular and in my family all the women have them other than myself. Coming from an Irish background I love the History and culuture and what the ring symbolizes. I pray that the Lord guides as you seek after His will for your life.
Liz
 
Isn't that the ring they had on Sisterwives?

I would want to avoid it, the last thing you want is to be told 'you're just following a poly fashion' by the Poly Fashion Police, they are really strict!!! :o

;)
 
Yes they do have them on sisterwives but the Claddaugh has been worn worldwide for decades. Also, the Claddaugh is a very popular ring right now because of the symbolism and especially for people like myself with an Irish background.
 
I am well aware of its symbolism yes. I am just saying that to do so NOW would look like following them, whereas doing it before, might have been seen to be more genuine. That is the problem whenever anyone publicises something isn't it? You always run the risk of people thinking you are following a trend.
Which is kind of annoying if you were wearing certain things for a long time and some other person swoops in, makes a big show of something and everyone assumes that you are doing it because of them.
 
Yes, and unfortunately a lot of poly families want all this matching stuff, which kind of bugs me anyway. Why not be unique and do it based off of personality? Maybe the incoming partner won't prefer yellow gold whereas existing partner does... so, let existing partner keep their gold band and get something in white gold or silver or platinum or whatever the preference of the partner is. I don't like diamonds, I won't wear one... she might like them. I prefer sapphires and emeralds.

I think the symbolism bit is over rated to all match. I'm unique and I don't particularly want to match. Heck, to be honest, hubby's wedding ring from me looks nothing like mine either. His suits his personality more. I have a simple band and don't even care much about that (not a jewelry person to be honest). I would be fine with no wedding bands.

For those that want them, just let the choice be determined by the individual and their preference. Just because they were able to be convinced to join a plural marriage doesn't mean they gave up everything about who they are.

I don't know, just thinking out loud a bit.

~Becca
 
Indeed it does beccablue and currently I don't have mine as it got lost or something like that lol. I am just know that I love the symbolism and thats really the reason I would want to wear one.
Liz
 
:) And that would be what you would choose then, for that reason. But that doesn't mean you need to have matching rings with a sisterwife. :)

I think the most awful thing for the women would be to expect to be "similar". There is a reason for that saying "opposites attract"... Simply, too much similarity in personality especially would cause more clashes than cohesiveness. Besides, I would much prefer a partner who has different strengths and weaknesses than myself.

I've a bit of Irish background as well and I certainly understand the draw to the cladaugh rings. Now if I could ever convince myself to be girlie enough to wear jewelry, LOL, that would be a different story. We are considering a hand fasting rather than traditional wedding though, so, my bents are a tad different anyhow. LOL.

I think the closest we would ever come to "matching" is hubby's band has yellow, white, and rose gold. My band is yellow gold (plain), so I suppose a partner could consider a white or rose gold band if that suited her. That would sort of match.

This issue, frankly, reared its head for me when we dated one girl. In the process of discussing the ring bit, I was struck with how I just really don't want to give up my band and what that means to me and replace it like starting over. I was kind of surprised to realize that being asked to get rid of my band and start with a new one, well, it felt like I was being asked to ignore the last 16 years of my marriage as if it never existed at all. I wasn't okay with that.

I told someone once, that yes, we have a lot of history (me and hubby) and the incoming would not have that, but I can't go back and erase those years and don't want to, she would just have to build her own history with him. So, to me, the rings exchanged should fit the needs of the individuals because what it does symbolize is her beginning in the family and she builds from there.

Just mulling stuff around.

~Becca
 
I absolutely agree. Also, I would never want a sisterwife to have the same ring I have simply for the fact that that is my personal taste and what I like and what I am drawn too. Nor would I ever ask another to give up their ring for my benefit as I find that absurd and ludicrous to expect that. Nor do I desire to be a replica of the other wife.

Duplicating someone else is the fastest way to work yourself out of a marriage in my opinion. Opposites do attract and I think from experience that guys do not always desire the same kind of woman for the SW as they did in the FW. Just my own feelings and I agree with a lot of what you have said. I think that this has lead to a rather interesting discussion.

Liz
 
A couple of years ago I watched "Fiddler on the Roof" and noticed that they put the ring on the index finger. I asked on the board and someone told me that the Jewish custom was to wear the ring on the index finger. Cannot remember which hand, but for some reason I think it was the right hand. That may have some people confused.

SweetLissa
 
sweetlissa said:
A couple of years ago I watched "Fiddler on the Roof" and noticed that they put the ring on the index finger. I asked on the board and someone told me that the Jewish custom was to wear the ring on the index finger. Cannot remember which hand, but for some reason I think it was the right hand. That may have some people confused.

SweetLissa
Click to expand...


In some parts of Europe the wedding band goes on the right hand.

B
x
 
Wow Very educational! Thank you for posting that. I think I now want to research this more just because I like to learn! LOL ;)
 
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