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What do you say is biblical womanhood?

julieb

julieb

Women's Ministry
Staff member
Real Person
Female
I was asked this question a few months ago by a friend. I didn't answer her for awhile because I wasn't sure what I really thought. Unfortunately, I haven't read many books on this subject, like I wish I would have. So I thought and prayed and this is what came to me. I probably would have said something different 10 years ago and I can't help wonder what God will teach me about my relationship with Him in the next 10 years. So, tell me, do you understand what I think about it or do you have different thoughts on what it is to be a woman of God?


What, in your opinion, is true "biblical womanhood"? Biblical womanhood is all about the heart. We ladies come in so many shapes and colors that it has to be about our hearts. It is also about the journey of learning who our Heavenly Father is each day of our lives. For me being a woman of God involves trusting in Him no matter the circumstances. As we trust in our Earthly father when we are young, or at least like we are supposed to, we have to choose to trust in our Heavenly Father. I think that woman have such a powerful influence on their families. It can be a positive or negative influence, most of us are some of both. I have seen my words of frustration and pride injure my young son. I have also seen my words encourage him and hopefully make him feel loved. I want to be a woman of God that is more about peace in her heart than fear. I want to be a woman God can count on to do his work. I want to be emotionally strong but tender as I convey that strength to my children, husband and friends. I want to trust in God so fully that I can trust in my husband’s wisdom for our family no matter what it is. If I trust in my husband and he makes a wrong decision then I know that God will work it out for us in the end. I don’t have to “make sure my husband is doing it all right” because God is doing that. I want to be a woman who reflects the wisdom of God with her mouth. It is not a sarcastic mouth, a critical mouth, or a gossiping mouth. It is a mouth that has restraint, grace and goodness come from it.
As a married woman, I want to understand the role that God has given me in that marriage. It is not one of weakness but of great responsibility. My husband counts on me for many things, not as many as the Proverbs 31 woman but all the things that God has put in my skill set. I want to be a respectful wife to my husband mainly because God said that is how I should be towards him. I want to understand that submission to his leadership frees me to be the supporter that God made me to be. Can I be as Spiritually wise as my husband? Yes, of course I can. Are my thoughts important? Yes, of course they are. Does my heart want to be in control over my husband at times? Yes, it does but that is not the order of God and so it always brings confusion and fear eventually. So, I am back to putting my trust in God which allows me to trust in my husband with all his human failings. Trusting also helps me be free from the fears in my heart that I have taken on in my life. But it is a journey, and one I will never see the end of until I am face to face with my Creator.
 
Julie, my dear one,

Without smarm I would say from personal observation that you model what you have poured out in this post as your heart's desire. Perfectly? No. Do you struggle? Yes. But your heart for God, Nate, and your whole tribe, as well as us is palpable as well as mighty, and to me that makes you and the expression of your womanhood most biblical.
You are a work in progress, as are we all, but there is something intangible about you that I can only describe from a military context, again, based on observation. It is also what I long to model myself.

In older military terms, it was the "aide de campe," the one who knew the commanding officer better than he knew himself, almost. The aide wasn't about a title, getting one, moving up in the ranks, being noticed. The aide was about legitimate, trustworthy, intimate proximity to the one in charge, and being one whose wise and prudent imput was indispensible, sharp, and crucial. It was Dule Hill's character Charlie to Martin Sheen's character President Jed Bartlett in West Wing. Leo McGurry as chief of staff was the more prominent, and managed everyone else, but Charlie is the one who routinely saved the President's bacon when no one knew it except the President, and sometimes not even he. That's how I see your "hidden victories," as Steven Covey describes them, and, I agree with him when he says they always precede the public ones.

For the past 40 years I have made Pro 31 my manual while I have made "Muck your own stall" my battle cry, and as is so often the case with familiar scriptures, nothing is cooler than having something new jump off the pages.

Just a couple of days ago I realized that the very first thing that Solomon says about his mother the queen, (whom some Jews believe is the subject of this proverb,) is that "the heart of her husband doth safely trust in her." Betach is the word for "safely trust," and like most Hebrew is gloriously complex. Its root means "refuge," but it has delicious layers spread over that root. The whole picture is one of bold security almost tothe point of carelessness, confidence, hope and safety.

The best way I know how to illustrate it is by describing how relaxed things were on the Navy S.E.A.L.S/intel camp as opposed to the regular camps. They were so deadly, so good at keeping us safe, and knew us all so well that we didn't worry about having our ID out and visible at all times like we had to at the other camps.

What struck me was that being that safe place for our menfolk, as you and I have talked about face to face, trumps the list of all her other accomplishments, no matter how virtuous. In fact, as often happens in Hebrew literature, the converse is presented for the purpose of strengthening the original point. "So that he shall have no need of spoil." It's like saying, she is so safe that he'll never have to even THINK of....." fill in the blank.

The word for spoil is fascinating, too, as it has an application to self as well as others. Shalal can mean to either plunder or spoil another, or make oneself a prey. In other words, she is such a safe place that he doesn't need to protect himself in any of the usual ways, nor strategically make himself a target so that he can actually, ultimately prevail against her. She gives him no alarm, for any reason, even if she is not perfect. She can screw up all day long, but because he knows her through and through, he might be annoyed, but is not nervous that there is a fifth column in his own household.

I 'm not saying that she should make a career of screwing up, but if she is on top of it in the production department but does not have his back, she might look virtuous on the outside, but her den belongs to the spider.

So, having blathered along here for awhile, now if someone were to ask me what I think is the definition of biblical womanhood, I'd start by saying, "Be a refuge to all, especially your husband, and be as deadly in the tent as Yael to the enemy." For what it's worth, that's how I see you, and have no doubt that you'll have more of your heart's desire as you delight yourself in Him. :D
 
Would it be too self serving to say, "amen" to that? :D Thank you for your wonderful thoughts, Ali. I don't think I have ever thought of it in that way...being a woman who is safe. I like it!
 
"Amen" away, Julie B!! I won't charge you royalties.... ;)
 
I took some time to absorb Julie's words and then Ali. I do not go with my
first thoughts, but let it sink in and then I start to answer in my head.
I was made to be a helpmeet. I am lost right now. I don't have to be accountable to any or have help in decisions. I am in a boat with no oars or motorin the middle of the lake ( I hate boats). :( I just feel sadness. God neverintended this for the woman. I believe thats why He had other male family members take the widow back to the loving protection of a family.
I am sure you all know the yearning to be under the enveloping arms of a man and family. The yearning is so deep in my heart that it hurts to think
about it.
My kids are wonderful, but they have full lives just trying to raise their children. All I can do is pray and ask God to bring my family to me.
Let me be that biblical woman please. I'm sorry this is a downer, but it is from my heart dede
 
Oh, Mo, how well I remember that feeling of "lostness." Your post is not a downer, it is just honest, and YHWH is afflicted with you in all of your affliction. May you find the support here to give you strength for your undeniably painful present situation. If I may quote from a friend who was a guy and who looked out for me a little over 20 years ago when I was going through it, "It won't always be like this." I believe with all my heart that healing, in whatever form God may bring it, is your birthright and will come in remarkable ways.

Today I was at a business lunch for the newspaper, and a wealthy, married, successful business woman joined us. She told us through tears how God had told her daughter, (who is a college student and was at Tuscaloosa) to go downstairs. By the time she did, the top half of the house had blown off, a door hit her and partly pinned her to the floor, and her dog sat on top of the door until the storm passed. No doubt the pooch saved her life. The garage with her car in it blew away, and she emerged from the storm with only a bloody nose, and pretty shook up emotionally.

Once it was light and she and her family could begin to dig through the rubble, they found a magazine laying open on the only thing that remained of the house, which was the set of cement steps. Part of the magazine was torn, and all they could see was that it was a publication from 1987. But what was on the torn page for all of them to see was a picture of Jesus with His arms open wide! This young woman is going to make a shadow box as her "storm keepsake." She is going to put a shingle from her house, the picture of Jesus and a few other keepsakes in the shadow box, and as she is very creative, I am sure it will be lovely.

Your heart has a "bloody nose," and as you heal, you and Yeshua will make a shadow box which will commemorate His extraordinary, careful tender provision. When people "see it," you'll be able to say, "Remember that EF 5 twister that hit my life? Well, let me show you what He has done since then." It won't always be like this, m'dear. Yeshua is in the restoration business, and may He keep you safely tucked under while you rebuild something that will become part of the Kingdom.
Shalom to you, dear dede
 
thank you for reminding me that God says "my grace is sufficient" I know
that in my head, but I do need reminding that He will never leave me or forsake me.
Thanks also for the great chat last night. It was fun. ;)
 
Thanks for posting this. I have been struggling with trusting God and my husband lately and I really needed encouragement in this area.
 
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