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Where are you on your journey?

Dahlia

Dahlia

New Member
Female
What a wonderful community God has blessed us with! I've only been here a short while but I'm happy to be here. I'm definitely learning and growing in my faith!

That being said, it seems a lot of us ladies whether single, married or otherwise are working through this big idea of what a biblical family looks like. I would love to be able to chat here on this thread about where you feel you are at! Are you completely on board no doubt about it? Are you married and apprehensive about adding another wife? Etc.

I myself am single and interested in learning more, meeting people in this lifestyle, and if God wills it, finding the right family to be a part of. Whether that means marrying a single man and beginning the search for another to join us, or joining an established couple/family.

The floor is yours ladies. :) Where do you feel you are?
 
In a word I'm resigned.
Resigned to whatever God purposes for us.
Now if you think that means I'm reluctantly accepting of the possibility of another wife you'd be wrong. I have been very positive about the idea for over 17 years now, and have finally realized in a more accepting, feel it in my heart level, that if I DON'T have a sisterwife, now or ever, it is because that is best.

I was long ago convinced that I could be very happy as a first but not only wife. That was six children ago. As much work as babies are it is probably the easiest way to grow a family.
Finding a real single woman interested in a package deal, and capable of convincing my conservative hubby she is compatible with this particular established family is a one in a billion chance....in other words a miracle if or when it happens.
I still believe in miracles....but I'm way to busy with the family I have to think much about the theoretically possible sisterwife I don't.

That's my story in a nutshell. Who's next?
:)
 
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Joleneakamama said:
In a word I'm resigned.
Resigned to whatever God purposes for us.
Now if you think that means I'm reluctantly accepting of the possibility of another wife you'd be wrong. I have been very positive about the idea for over 17 years now, and have finally realized in a more accepting, feel it in my heart level, that if I DON'T have a sisterwife, now or ever, it is because that is best.

I was long ago convinced that I could be very chappy as a first but not only wife. That was six children ago. As much work as babies are it is probably the easiest way to grow a family.
Finding a real single woman interested in a package deal, and capable of convincing my conservative hubby she is compatible with this particular established family is a one in a billion chance....in other words a miracle if or when it happens.
I still believe in miracles....but I'm way to busy with the family I have to think much about the theoretically possible sisterwife I don't.

That's my story in a nutshell. Who's next?
:)
Click to expand...

Resigned, I like that!!
I’d say I’m committed and submitted to my husband and however God will be leading him....
I don’t like change, especially when I see a lot of heartache and drama. I’m the only wife, it’s what I’ve always known I’m okay with it staying that way. ;) But, because he has loved me so well, I won’t stand in selfishness of my own preferences and deny someone else the love and leadership of a Good Man.
I’ve already ‘lost’ family for staying married to a man that believes in PM, the possibility of losing more it high. But we leave and cleave and life goes on.
Over the last 2-3 years through many emotional upheavals I have to say I am privileged to be a wife of an incredible man, who has ‘shepherded’ my heart and life, not for his own selfishness, but so we can be a united family serving Him together. I can’t imagine my life without him. If God puts another wife or more children in his home, then we continue serving Him by loving and serving each other.
I hope that makes sense...
 
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Well loved wife said:
Resigned, I like that!!
I’d say I’m committed and submitted to my husband and however God will be leading him....
I don’t like change, especially when I see a lot of heartache and drama. I’m the only wife, it’s what I’ve always known I’m okay with it staying that way. ;) But, because he has loved me so well, I won’t stand in selfishness of my own preferences and deny someone else the love and leadership of a Good Man.
I’ve already ‘lost’ family for staying married to a man that believes in PM, the possibility of losing more it high. But we leave and cleave and life goes on.
Over the last 2-3 years through many emotional upheavals I have to say I am privileged to be a wife of an incredible man, who has ‘shepherded’ my heart and life, not for his own selfishness, but so we can be a united family serving Him together. I can’t imagine my life without him, if God puts another wife or more children in his home, then we continue serving Him by loving and serving each other.
I hope that makes sense...
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That makes total sense and was beautifully expressed.
Me thinks my heart understands yours....at least in this matter. :-)
 
Let me see if I can convey my heart properly.
My husband and I gave been wonderfully married for 27 years (August 1). We have 5 adult children and 7 grandchildren. We are empty nesters, but we both work at a hospital an hour from our home.
My husband brought PM up about 3.5 years ago. I was hurt, felt like I wasn't good enough or some how failed. He saw my hurt and stepped back, took it very slow, little at a time, reading different resources with me, etc. Now I see the blessing and am sad that we didn't see this truth earlier in our marriage. If YaHWeH decides to bless us with a SW, I am ready.
Y'all are such a blessing. My husband is such a blessing. Now I must stop, tears are clouding my vision.
 
WOW...all of you have expressed the way I feel and have felt. Right now we dealing with the loss (breakup) of a potential...but it is Yah's will so we accept it...but we still feel the pain of loss. I got along so well with her. During that courtship I really learned a lot. There are definitely levels of acceptance. Once we had a serious potential I had issue with equality. I kept thinking hubby had to do everything equally and that is where I experience jealousies. Through the love and patience of hubby I came to realize that nothing has to be equal, each relationship will be different because we are different. Sometimes I think Abba put her in my life so that I can work through the reality of PM. We are starting the process of looking again and whatever Yahweh has in store for we will humbly accept.

I have a wonderful leader and husband who has shown great patience and love.
 
Ok well I am single and I would say resigned is a great way to put it. Resigned to God's will for my life. I do feel this will be the Year I am blessed with my forever.... NOT saying I will be married this year but that I will meet him... if I haven't already. I am not one to chase a man, I like to be persued.

Since joining the forum over a year ago I have been on a roller coaster of emotions. My level of Biblical understanding of what the "Biblical Family" looks like and how it looks for me. I originally joined the forum with hopes of learning and growing spiritually. I wanted to understand what Yahweh was showing me in my own personal studies. I never joined to meet my "husband" I never came looking but i was being looked at. I was intimidated and felt like everything I said and did was under the microscope. Being in the spotlight is uncomfortable for me when my heart and emotions are on the line. I made some amazing friends here and hope to continue building this community of camaraderie. I am now open to potentially meeting my perspective husband here and pray for my sister/sisters. I know whoever Yah brings me will be perfect for me. I trust His guidance and leading me where I need to be. My trust is stronger now than ever before and my heart swells when I think of the family I will become a part of. I know I don't have to compromise who I am or change who I am because just as Yahweh has been preparing me for them, I know He is also preparing them for me. So whether we all know eachother or not at this point I i feel no anxiety over it.

I look forward to the NO PRESSURE family retreat in a few weeks to reconnect with ones I haven't seen in a year.

I am not sure if this answers your question about where I am in my journey but this is it.

I hope to see more of you on the forum.
Blessings and Shalom.
Patricia
 
My journey already has a sister wife but I thought I would comment on the mindset of adding more wives to just two. I suspect that the Lord will eventually add another wife to our family and that is okay. It didn't use to be "okay" but my journey is that God has grown my trust in Him and in my husband enough to know that if He does choose to add to our family it will be for the better and to support the purposes that He has put in my husband's heart.

P.S. A journey has different scenery, different seasons. so don't beat yourself up if you are not in the "I am totally fine with another wife!" season. There is much to learn about yourself and your marriage relationship in that season. Not to mention, ramping up the trust level in your Heavenly Father and your husband. It is all good!
 
Excited and apprehensive all tied up in one. Excited with the possibility of sharing so much apprehensive about letting someone in to our tight family. I went through a rollercoaster of emotional turmoil not long ago and worked through a lot....
 
Well loved wife said:
Resigned, I like that!!
I’d say I’m committed and submitted to my husband and however God will be leading him....
I don’t like change, especially when I see a lot of heartache and drama. I’m the only wife, it’s what I’ve always known I’m okay with it staying that way. ;) But, because he has loved me so well, I won’t stand in selfishness of my own preferences and deny someone else the love and leadership of a Good Man.
I’ve already ‘lost’ family for staying married to a man that believes in PM, the possibility of losing more it high. But we leave and cleave and life goes on.
Over the last 2-3 years through many emotional upheavals I have to say I am privileged to be a wife of an incredible man, who has ‘shepherded’ my heart and life, not for his own selfishness, but so we can be a united family serving Him together. I can’t imagine my life without him. If God puts another wife or more children in his home, then we continue serving Him by loving and serving each other.
I hope that makes sense...
Click to expand...

I'm curious about why he needs a second wife.
 
Proverbs3.5 said:
Let me see if I can convey my heart properly.
My husband and I gave been wonderfully married for 27 years (August 1). We have 5 adult children and 7 grandchildren. We are empty nesters, but we both work at a hospital an hour from our home.
My husband brought PM up about 3.5 years ago. I was hurt, felt like I wasn't good enough or some how failed. He saw my hurt and stepped back, took it very slow, little at a time, reading different resources with me, etc. Now I see the blessing and am sad that we didn't see this truth earlier in our marriage. If YaHWeH decides to bless us with a SW, I am ready.
Y'all are such a blessing. My husband is such a blessing. Now I must stop, tears are clouding my vision.
Click to expand...
Like I asked another: why does your husband need a second wife?
 
@Quest my husband and I had this conversation about why he might want another. It came down to a couple of things, like we don't have all the same interests so having someone who shares some of the things we both like might be a value. If you think about it as his other wives are your family too, it would be an added sense of security should something happen to him, or even in that case, either of you, and would give me someone other than him to spend time with.
 
For our family, we are just discovering the idea of PM and entering into conversations as to why it might or might not suit our family. I would say we are open to the idea, but still unsettled one way or another.
 
Hi Delta, welcome to the forum! It would be great if you could do a post in the introductions section so we could get to know you a little better too :).
Delta said:
For our family, we are just discovering the idea of PM and entering into conversations as to why it might or might not suit our family. I would say we are open to the idea, but still unsettled one way or another.
Click to expand...
Give it time. If you decide that this is right for your family, don't do it. Give yourself a year or two at least past that point. You'll find that you swing back and forth a bit and will have bad days where you think it's definitely a no go. It does take your mind a wee while to wrap your brain around it. It's much harder going through that process when there is another woman in the picture, for all parties involved!

Is your husband signed up yet? This is a great forum for him to chat to the men, I highly recommend him becoming a member if he isn't already.
 
Quest said:
I'm curious about why he needs a second wife.
Click to expand...
Though woman was created for man and some men are content to be single, why is it restricted to ‘why does he need another wife?’
That’s our culture’s cereal box. Blah!
What about a good woman wanting to raise a godly family with a good man and is able to contribute to the Man’s vision?
I don’t know that any husband needs another wife, any more than a woman needs more than one child, but why stand in the way of letting him be a blessing and protector to her as he has been to you? We women are taught to see other women as wolves, only out to devour our men. Many women are precious souls that we can bless by .... following, loving and obeying our husband’s.
 
Well loved wife said:
Though woman was created for man and some men are content to be single, why is it restricted to ‘why does he need another wife?’
That’s our culture’s cereal box. Blah!
What about a good woman wanting to raise a godly family with a good man and is able to contribute to the Man’s vision?
I don’t know that any husband needs another wife, any more than a woman needs more than one child, but why stand in the way of letting him be a blessing and protector to her as he has been to you? We women are taught to see other women as wolves, only out to devour our men. Many women are precious souls that we can bless by .... following, loving and obeying our husband’s.
Click to expand...
Nicely stated
 
Delta said:
@Quest my husband and I had this conversation about why he might want another. It came down to a couple of things, like we don't have all the same interests so having someone who shares some of the things we both like might be a value. If you think about it as his other wives are your family too, it would be an added sense of security should something happen to him, or even in that case, either of you, and would give me someone other than him to spend time with.
Click to expand...
So...he needs a buddy? And you need a buddy? But...sex?!!!
 
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