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Boise, Idaho retreat! June 28th-30th, 2013

Greetings,

My wife and I had a wonderful time. Yes the motorhome acted up on the way back. Found the issue to be fuel boiling (vaporlock). The engine wasn't hot but the fuel was getting too warm. That is what happens when it is 110. It was so nice to be able to put faces with names.

When I first showed up I actually felt a bit out of place (as I only have one bride), though for those of you who met her she has enough quality for 3 women. I love that girl! It was nice, to see the "norm" changed to polygyny rather than monogamy or single men with unmarried women. Laura also felt blessed to talk to other 1st wives (interesting discussion possible on first vs last issue :o ) It helped her "process" her feelings. Something I still dont understand.

I enjoyed hassling you all. Hopefully I was not "harsh."

God bless you all.

Jonathan M Cooksey

(just don't feel the call to hide my obedience to God, so there is the full name)
 
FollowingHim said:
Now I'm worried. You "consummated" many friendships? What on earth went down in Idaho! :shock:
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Lol!

Well, I intended the general definition of consummate: "to bring to a state of perfection; fulfill," as opposed to the more specific and shocking meaning that pertains to a marriage. Context is important here Samuel!

Indeed, even before we come to the meaning that pertains to marriage, we must consider the possibility of: "to complete (an arrangement, agreement, or the like) by a pledge or the signing of a contract: The company consummated its deal to buy a smaller firm."
 
I'm just teasing! Of course, if someone did have a friendship that was consummated in Idaho, that would be a cause for congratulations... :D
 
"to bring to a state of perfection; fulfill,"
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how this can apply to a friendship escapes me. a contract, marital or otherwise, I can understand.
to meet an online friend face to face would bring a friendship to a new level, but a friendship is never fulfilled or brought to a state of perfection, imo.
 
steve said:
"to bring to a state of perfection; fulfill,"
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how this can apply to a friendship escapes me. a contract, marital or otherwise, I can understand.
to meet an online friend face to face would bring a friendship to a new level, but a friendship is never fulfilled or brought to a state of perfection, imo.
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To the emboldened, this is a separate definition of consummate in the dictionary. Thus, at least the writers of dictionaries see a difference they deem worthy of a separate definition.

In my case, a friendship with someone whom you've never met seems incomplete or imperfect. Thus, it feels to me as though a friendship is more complete or more perfect once physical presence has been included in the relationship.

Perhaps it is useful to look at the synonyms and antonyms of the word as well:

Synonyms
1. complete, perfect, finish, accomplish, achieve.

Antonyms
4. imperfect, unfinished.

Consider now the antonym "unfinished." A friendship whereby physical presence has never obtained seems "unfinished" to me. Likewise, consider synonyms "complete" and "finish"; which seem apt descriptors of meeting a friend for the first time with whom a relationship has already been established.

In any case, though we're all free to choose our own words, it surprises me that folks would be befuddled by this usage. I suppose using the word "intercourse" to describe a discussion would then be out of the question on this forum because everyone would leap to the conclusion, in contradiction to context, that a specific kind of intercourse was intended eh? ;-D
 
Oreslag said:
I suppose using the word "intercourse" to describe a discussion would then be out of the question on this forum because everyone would leap to the conclusion, in contradiction to context, that a specific kind of intercourse was intended eh? ;-D
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I suppose intercourse could be used in such a manner as it denotes a beautiful blending harmony. It also works well to describe the act of love in a happy marital union. It certainly works better than "discourse" in the marital context. Lol! :lol:
 
Y'all are too funny!

"It depends on what the definition of 'IS' is." -- Clinton :lol: :lol:
 
sorry, we can choose our own words but we cannot choose our own meanings.

one of my favorite sayings is "words mean things".
please understand that I am one of the biggest abusers of the English language, and one of the worst word-maker-uppers. but I do it fully aware of my decisions. I am just a truck driver, but am married to two editors (one of them owns, edits, and publishes a newspaper). "words mean things" is pretty much of a family game due to my insistence that everyone understand what they are actually communicating.
con·sum·mate (kns-mt)
tr.v. con·sum·mat·ed, con·sum·mat·ing, con·sum·mates
1.
a. To bring to completion or fruition; conclude: consummate a business transaction.

b. To realize or achieve; fulfill: a dream that was finally consummated with the publication of her first book.

2.
a. To complete (a marriage) with the first act of sexual intercourse after the ceremony.

b. To fulfill (a sexual desire or attraction) especially by intercourse.

adj. (kn-smt, kns-mt)
1. Complete or perfect in every respect: consummate happiness. See Synonyms at perfect.

2. Supremely accomplished or skilled: "Sargent was now a consummate master of brushwork" (Roberta Smith).

3. Complete; utter: a consummate bore.
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a marriage changes from being a theory, a betrothal, to a reality when it is consummated.
a purchase contract is consummated when the conditions are fulfilled and the property changes hands.

the change that occurs in a friendship when meeting the person for the first time is only an improvement, the desire to meet them is consummated. but the friendship itself is not consummated and never can be.

intercourse is a legitimate word for the exchange that we are presently having. I am not exactly a prude. :D
 
consummate jerk....
consummate bore....

been there, done that, but they dint gimmee no t-shirt ;) :roll: :lol:
 
steve said:
sorry, we can choose our own words but we cannot choose our own meanings.
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Lol, chose my own meaning? Hardly.

con·sum·mate
verb (used with object)
1. to bring to a state of perfection; fulfill.
2. to complete (an arrangement, agreement, or the like) by a pledge or the signing of a contract: The company consummated its deal to buy a smaller firm.
3. to complete (the union of a marriage) by the first marital sexual intercourse.

ful·fill
verb (used with object)
1. to carry out, or bring to realization, as a prophecy or promise.
2. to perform or do, as duty; obey or follow, as commands.
3. to satisfy (requirements, obligations, etc.): a book that fulfills a long-felt need.
4. to bring to an end; finish or complete, as a period of time: He felt that life was over when one had fulfilled his threescore years and ten.
5. to develop the full potential of (usually used reflexively): She realized that she could never fulfill herself in such work.

As I declared previously,
Oreslag said:
A friendship whereby physical presence has never obtained seems "unfinished" to me.
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As far as I'm concerned, the emboldened words or phrases above accurately express the realization of this previously unrealized potential in a friendship. Note particularly the similarity of the italicized emboldened example to my usage (i.e. compare the given phrase to: "a meeting that fulfills a long-felt need"; which is a restatement of what I expressed).
 
I agree that you consummated your desire to meet them face to face. that you fulfilled your desire for a deeper friendship. that by doing so you are developing the potential of the relationship. I agree that doing so satisfies something within a person.
 
I give up...
 
You gave up, maybe in the future I need to enlist her help. hehehehhehee
 
Indeed!

Actually, after learning (perhaps, for the umpteenth time) at the retreat that I'm sometimes perceived as poking people in the eye with a stick, I've decided I have to let go sooner; which I'm finding to be a real challenge. There is a reason that even my lovely Bride uses 'oblivious' on a list of attributes that come to mind when she thinks of me, and I suppose I should do something about it ;-)

Perhaps also noteworthy, one of the things I seem to recall her saying on numerous occasions is "but it doesn't bother me because I know that it is just Steven." I suppose there is something for me to pay attention to there too, but I've yet to figure it out. Lol's.
 
Sorry could not make it from California because just found you all last month but so happy you're doing these get-togethers!

So great to see Christians supporting other Christians in spite of the amazing breadth of Christian backgrounds.
 
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