I've read 20% of that book, and I've also read "No more mr nice guy" in the past. I do think that if you had talked to me 10 years ago, you would have been talking to a male that was basically "beta". When I think about it, I don't blame that on who I was biologically, but on what I believed was the application of good male traits. I believe biologically I do embody many of the "alpha" traits that book so highly speaks of.
Obviously I have grown, and now my application is a true mixture of the alpha/beta traits. It is true, I am not acting on my impulses to initiate anything with a second woman, but that is because I recognize the incredibly complicated ground I stand on and don't want to unneccessarily risk my relationship with my wife. I can't change my mind and deny what I see in scripture because my logical functions work, because my faith is genuine. I don't think she will ever be in "control", really, because I am very driven, and generally that makes me the leader. The reason I doubt, is because of her endurance, as we are each holding our worldviews through this, mine has changed, hers has not, yet. I can tell you, that I can't deny my discovery, (unless someone shows me a verse in context that I don't know of?), so she might eventually decide that she can't handle a man that openly believes polygyny is valid, and openly desires it.
She knows who I am and what I want. I say that with the full knowledge that I have been consistent in pointing to God and his laws. When all of this began, I told myself I would give myself a full seven years to work this out, because if Jacob can do it, so can I, but lately I have been doubting my ability to wait that long. I am less then 400 days into that and honestly, I feel my greatest mistake could be trying to move to fast.
The rewards of a polygynous lifestyle for a man don't take a rocket scientist to understand. Seriously, ideological extremest will throw their entire lives away on the promise this will be found in the afterlife to idols. As a man, it is exceptionally intuitive to me that the benefits of multiple wives, kept, known, and loved, loving me in return, offers rewards that I never could have even accepted as appropriate before. That is a lot to appropriately assimilate into my being. Then when you also consider that it is this dynamic that can produce a larger, more financially healthy, bible believing family and it really makes me want to get it together as a man and lead my family that direction.
Thanks for the suggestion, I will indeed read the book once.
