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Dating / matchmaking websites

FollowingHim

FollowingHim

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Biblical Families is set up as a discussion forum, not a dating website. However, we are aware that many people visit this site looking to find a wife or a husband. You might happen to meet someone on this website, but if this is the primary purpose of your visit you may have more success on a dedicated dating website.

Unfortunately, there are few sites that allow for polygamous dating that would be of interest to Christians looking for marriage (as opposed to secular polyamorists looking for shorter-term relationships). This thread is a place to post links to websites people may wish to consider, and brief reviews and experiences that may be helpful for others.

There are no specifically Christian polygamy dating websites that I am aware of at the time of writing.
Edit 2022:
Overtly Christian

Modernpolygamy.com
Modern Polygamy is a relative newcomer but is trying to deliver what the majority of people visiting this forum would be looking for in a dating website - a place for Christians to find serious spouses.

Other philosophies
The two main options that are usually mentioned are below, and are almost complete opposites philosophically:

Sisterwives.com
Secular, USA-based website for polygamous and polyamorous dating - ie for forming relationships that may or may not lead to marriage. Most well-known polygamy / polyamory dating website in the USA. What you'd expect from a dating website, but for polygamy / polyamory.

Polygamy.com
This is self-described as a "polygamy matrimonial service", and states "Do remember, this is NOT a dating site, neither is dating or loose talk with the opposite gender permitted. We want respect and decency.". Run by Muslims as a service to non-Muslims - sister-site to secondwife.com(for Muslim polygamy), and gomarry.com(for monogamy), both also operated under the same principles.

If you have used any of these websites, or know of others to recommend, please add your impressions and suggestions in comments below.

Please also provide recommendations of any high quality Christian-based monogamous dating / matchmaking websites you are aware of. Such websites may be ideal for any man who is looking for their first wife, and are worth investigation by any single woman also.
 
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Have used sisterwives on a regular bases, on and off. Good site, met a few nice people. A couple where good potentials, one very much so except we had different belief issues. My advise to anyone considering plural marriage, try it and see what you encounter. It is a great learning experience. I know we all want to wait for God, but there is nothing wrong with getting a little practice in before and so when the right one comes along we don't pass it up.
 
There have been multiple reports of people suspecting sisterwives of using fake bot accounts to get people to sign up for the paid plan. Not a lot of testimonies of success either. But they do seem to at least be making an effort to clamp down on spammers and bots. It's no where near as bad as some of the general popular dating sights; some of which are simply overrun with spammers and prostitutes.

On a whim last week I looked at sisterwives active accounts listing. It was running 10:1 men/couples to women and fully half the women were single mothers. And that's assuming the women are all single, as another thread mentioned some couples are posing as women. Unfortunately at that ratio the women on the site will be overrun with messages; making it hard to get their attention.
 
I have been on sisterwives.com and polygamy.com both I was approached by more Muslem men than Christian. A lot of non Christian couples that did not share my faith. And some men who were looking for a partner for their wives. Personally, I think it is a waste of time and energy. I am done looking, Yahweh may or may not bring me someone I'm ok with that.
 
I am not a supporter, but I think you might be a little hard on the sisterwives.com site. I have not seen any indication that they were supporting polyamory. You might find people there into that, as you might find some here, but there is no indication from the website owners that they support that. There are no polyamory forums on the site for example.
 
cnystrom said:
I am not a supporter, but I think you might be a little hard on the sisterwives.com site. I have not seen any indication that they were supporting polyamory. You might find people there into that, as you might find some here, but there is no indication from the website owners that they support that. There are no polyamory forums on the site for example.
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If you are responding to @Patricia C’s post, I don’t get it.
She is stating her own experience and her own decision based upon her experience. How could that translate into her being a little too hard on the site?
 
cnystrom said:
I am not a supporter, but I think you might be a little hard on the sisterwives.com site. I have not seen any indication that they were supporting polyamory. You might find people there into that, as you might find some here, but there is no indication from the website owners that they support that. There are no polyamory forums on the site for example.
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I'm not being hard on them, I'm describing them exactly how they present themselves.

From the home page:
  • "We are the epicenter for the Polygamous and Polyamorous Dating Community".
  • "We believe polygamy is a form of polyamory and welcome all approaches to relationships that bring true joy."
  • "If you are seeking a Relationship in the Polygamy or Poly Realm we are here to Help."
And on and on - I could keep quoting but I think three quotes is sufficient.

Try using their "find a match" tool on the left side of their home page. You can say you're a couple looking for a female - or a couple looking for a male - or a female looking for a group - or a couple looking for a couple... Or whatever.

They deliberately, overtly, cater for everybody in the polygamy / polyamory spectrum. And it is NOT being hard on them to point this out, as this is exactly what they are trying to achieve, and they have no problem with it. They overtly accept all forms of "poly"-type relationships, and allow anyone to use their site to meet up. They may do this for economic reasons (wider market), or philosophical reasons, I have no idea. But that's what they say about themselves.

That isn't to say the site can't be useful for Christians. As @Cap has pointed out, there are people on there who are compatible with our views. But as @Patricia C has pointed out, they are certainly not all like that, there's a broad range of people. And that's to be expected, because it is not a Christian website.
 
This is all the problem with the sisterwives site, there is a lot of bad mixed in with the good, but it's the only site that has value if someone wants to try and see what it's like to meet someone who may be interested in the polygyny life. You will see a lot but you have to pick through it. One of the most interesting things to experience, for those who have not crossed the line of a wife truly accepting PM in reality as apposed to spiritually, is the what happens to your wife when you start taking to a woman. Things reveal themselves, even though she states she believes in PM. That's why I think that site, or any place that can offer an initial excersize into plural relationships is a good one. It's one thing to say you believe in PM, it's another to actually meet someone else and intertain the possibility, just as it's all the more different to actually live it.
 
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Key quote from one of those links, as it's a review of various sites:
Sol said:
Responses to our profiles on these various sites over the course of several months were as follows (I am listing but a few);

1. OKCupid - No response at all
2. Plenty of Fish - 80% scammers & 20% from married woman wanting short term sexual gratification
3. Polygamy.com - One legitimate response, which was not a match for us. Very low female user count.
4. BiCupid.com - Low user count and again the main interest is in short term sexual liaisons.
5. Polyamorydate.com - Users are only interested in kink, fetishes and immediate sexual gratification.
6. Sister wives.com - low user count and high ratio of couples / males to females. One response which was not a match for us.

In addition to the websites listed above, we must have tried half a dozen others which were geared towards monogamous relationships. In every instance it was a matter of receiving no response or being pawed at by a scammer.
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Not a poly site, but I was nevertheless delighted to discover https://www.calledtogether.us. Unlike normal "Christian dating" <sigh> websites, the profiles there are not as much about favorite movies and flavors of potato chips, but about the various kinds of ministry folks are active in or passionate about, in various parts of the world. In other words, it is for missional-minded disciples rather than nominal or sleepy Christians.
The site might've been great for someone like me if not for my potentially plural situation. Nevertheless, I figured, hey, let's try an experiment. I made my polygyny-is-better-than-divorce position unapologetically clear and upfront on my profile. Who knows, maybe I'll be kicked off when my profile gets flagged by aghast users? We'll see. As many of you can testify, being kicked off Christian websites is business as usual around here. (Although I must say that my "coming out" experiences with family and friends so far have all been quite pleasant.)
Feel free to connect with user "Zach" if anyone wishes to pop over there and check it out.
 
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Zach said:
Unlike normal "Christian dating" <sigh> websites, the profiles there are not as much about favorite movies and flavors of potato chips, but about the various kinds of ministry folks are active in or passionate about, in various parts of the world. In other words, it is for missional-minded disciples rather than nominal or sleepy Christians.
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I love this! It's more like "Here's where we can team up for God" rather than "Here's some random things I like to do in my spare time".
 
I suggest we get a link to that site over in the singles category. Looks like a good idea!
 
Zach said:
Nevertheless, I figured, hey, let's try an experiment. I made my polygyny-is-better-than-divorce position unapologetically clear and upfront on my profile. Who knows, maybe I'll be kicked off when my profile gets flagged by aghast users? We'll see. As many of you can testify, being kicked off Christian websites is business as usual around here. (Although I must say that my "coming out" experiences with family and friends so far have all been quite pleasant.)
Feel free to connect with user "Zach" if anyone wishes to pop over there and check it out.
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Keep us informed how it goes for you on the site please.
 
We had a tornado situation last night, and I was in the middle of doing something. My script was missing a closing quote. Sorry about that. Working on ways to make this less likely to occur.
 
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