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Around minute 14 it tells the story of a 18th century British married man who bought a wife at sale and kept her as his in house 'mistress'. So ya, more polygamy in Britain.
One of the significant issues facing men in divorce proceedings is the widespread and blatant abuse of protection orders (restraining orders)...
http://www.dvmen.org/dv-15.htm
The abuse of these is so rampant they've become routine in many jurisdictions. I've even seen footage of a county DA giving a continuing education class to lawyers recommending they file these as a divorce strategy (i.e. a spurious, illegal claim).
That is something every man should read to know what they might be up against. What the system is like.
And if you're so foolish that you think it can't happen to you because 'you're not an abuser' or 'she'd never do that' think again. Like I said, this is a routine strategy used to victimize and subjugate men that are frequently given out on the most transparently spurious grounds (and then enforced with avengeance).
http://www.dvmen.org/dv-15.htm
The abuse of these is so rampant they've become routine in many jurisdictions. I've even seen footage of a county DA giving a continuing education class to lawyers recommending they file these as a divorce strategy (i.e. a spurious, illegal claim).
That is something every man should read to know what they might be up against. What the system is like.
And if you're so foolish that you think it can't happen to you because 'you're not an abuser' or 'she'd never do that' think again. Like I said, this is a routine strategy used to victimize and subjugate men that are frequently given out on the most transparently spurious grounds (and then enforced with avengeance).
Friends of ours rented an old house a few years ago that had been built by a very wealthy family over a century ago. Alongside the master bedroom was the maid's bedroom. The maid's bedroom had two doors - one directly into the master bedroom, one outside. She could not get into the main house without going through the master bedroom. Interesting setup for a particular sort of "maid"...It also points out that keeping mistresses was common in Britain - which everyone knows is polygamy by another name but won't admit.
One way to keep the silverware safe?
Yeah, until governments and lawyers got involved and turned it into a disaster!
Greetings everyone, new here - in every way. There's a reason why they say, 'hell has no fury like a woman scorned.' The issues being discussed makes me apprehensive about marriage and even more so, plural marriage. Losing a wife would be hard, especially if they were few, but losing contact with your children would be devastating, in my opinion. Legally, males in the usa are 100% screwed in this matter. Divorce is rampant and will only get worse. Eternal/ celestial marriage, God led us together... idk if it's a spiritual thing or what, but it's bad- seems everyone is subject to divorce. Especially if a spirit of jealousy comes in, and maybe that's Common too. Another note, someone said that all therapists are anti marriage/ anti male, etc.. Not all. But almost every one, especially if they're female hate marriage, men- and will instantly label them abusers, the wives and children are victims; and they'll join with the law to screw the man to the wall.
One of the few protections seems to be a rock solid pre nuptual agreement- to give a divorce lawyer some cash and get one drawn up. Wife gets 0, 0 custody, 0 support if she walks. I don't mean that to be harsh towards the women, but it will give not incentive to stay in the relationship and work things out - IF she befriends some jealous, unhappy, divorce moved women. - Imagine how common that is! I think early on, it could be sold as- week, this is a wise case scenario, bc men have no legal protection in case of divorce. It will never Happen, we'll be together forever, but it's what I need for peace of mind. Signed, and into a bank deposit box that she could never access- you or your lawyer only. - some thoughts. I look forward to hearing what anyone else thinks. In also looking forward to some fellowship. I'm in the midwest, but am being called to the se. It sounds like there are some gatherings in the se, which is great. I was starting to think the only way to get the ball rolling was to move to utah! I'm in my late 40s, but usually get along best with women in their early 20s- last several gfs. But I'm tiring of dating and modern American female nonsense. If anyone has any resources, please let me know. I'm in fb, joined some groups, no luck yet- the women there are almost silent. Thanks for listening, many blessings! PD
One of the few protections seems to be a rock solid pre nuptual agreement- to give a divorce lawyer some cash and get one drawn up. Wife gets 0, 0 custody, 0 support if she walks. I don't mean that to be harsh towards the women, but it will give not incentive to stay in the relationship and work things out - IF she befriends some jealous, unhappy, divorce moved women. - Imagine how common that is! I think early on, it could be sold as- week, this is a wise case scenario, bc men have no legal protection in case of divorce. It will never Happen, we'll be together forever, but it's what I need for peace of mind. Signed, and into a bank deposit box that she could never access- you or your lawyer only. - some thoughts. I look forward to hearing what anyone else thinks. In also looking forward to some fellowship. I'm in the midwest, but am being called to the se. It sounds like there are some gatherings in the se, which is great. I was starting to think the only way to get the ball rolling was to move to utah! I'm in my late 40s, but usually get along best with women in their early 20s- last several gfs. But I'm tiring of dating and modern American female nonsense. If anyone has any resources, please let me know. I'm in fb, joined some groups, no luck yet- the women there are almost silent. Thanks for listening, many blessings! PD
I agree with Steve, @Haya. Prenups are intended to protect property that people owned prior to beginning the relationship. For a simple example, if the man owned a house debt-free at the time of marriage, a prenup saying "the house remains mine" would be entirely reasonable. But if a man and his wife were together for 10 years and during that time managed to save up and buy a house together, I highly doubt any court would honour an agreement that said that house belonged 100% to the man and the woman has no claim to it, even though she contributed towards its purchase (even if only by making his meals while he went out and earned all the money for it).
Talk to a lawyer to confirm of course. And welcome to the forum!
Welcome Haya. It is nice to have you here. I had a little chuckle when I saw that you are in your late forties and like women in their early twenties.
What a strange coincidence! I'm also in my late forties and like women in their early twenties! Even more remarkable, it seems like the vast majority of men between the ages of eighteen and eighty also seem to like women in their early twenties!
Based on the study from okcupid
See attached graph below
Imagine that. Men are attracted to women in their peak years for childbearing, women at the prime age for marriage.
If I were so blessed of God to add a second wife, I would probably shoot for a thirty year old. She would hopefully be young enough to potentially bear me several children, but old enough to have some sense, and not be constantly mistaken for being my daughter.
And yes, there is a certain twenty-nine year old friend that I have in my mind.
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It's gotta be bulletproof, lawyer approved. It can happen. But an after thought: if you live in a blue state, I think your - is grass.
She is a very dear friend of ours from church. I really like her and she seems to really like me. She and my wife love each other very much. I could really see her fitting well into my family as my second wife.
It's an extreme longshot as:
1. My wife really doesn't like the idea of polygyny (though she seems to know that the Bible permits it).
I really don't want to be one of those men facing divorce.
2. This young woman likely has no idea that the Bible permits polygyny (like most Christians).
3. The church we all attend would certainly disfellowship us all were we to pursue that. I'm willing to lose our local church to gain a good wife, but my wife and this young woman might find that more difficult.
I do have one piece of advice: discuss your beliefs about polygyny very thoroughly with anyone you have an interest in, as well as with everyone in that person's life with whom you associate, long before you indicate your interest in her as a potential mate. If you get kicked out of your church, it won't be nearly as painful as if it occurs in the context of your love interest being part of the 'prosecution' or 'persecution.'
I know this reflects some of my biases, but what's the point of belonging to a club that wouldn't have you as a member if they knew who you really were? The only hope we have for any of this lies in men standing tall for everything important in their lives: for their families, for their faith, for their beliefs, for their freedoms, etc. Speaking uncomfortable truths is a tremendous way to discover who is and isn't someone one can count on to stand tall beside one when the going gets tough, and that's not really too high of a standard to have for one's potential spouse, either. Then, if, when the dragons start breathing fire, your potential love interest doesn't knuckle under to the lust for social approval or join in on enforcing it, and if she treats you with decency and respect even after the dragon breath from others has died down, and especially if you find this woman following you to one church after another as they successively invite you to become a member just long enough to kick you out for failing to fully support their extra-biblical teachings (because, believe me, if a church is condemnatory to the point of shunning or excommunication about polygamy, it will be active in condemning various other behaviors not condemned by Scripture or promoting so-called truths not present in Scripture), then you'll be in a position to expect a pretty good chance of a welcome audience for your expressions of fondness. If she waves good-bye when you get kicked out, or especially if she looks the other way or joins in on condemning you for speaking truth, your chances with her never were worth risking your present family for her.
It doesn't matter how correct you are that she would fit in well with your already-existent family or how correct you are that she and you would be a perfect couple in Fantasy Land.
I say this last thing with all the spiritual and relationship scars necessary for proving that I know what I'm talking about: it's beyond essential that you get everything straight with your 1st wife before you destroy any possibility with a potential 2nd wife. Unless you have established air-tight authority in your home, if your 1st wife "isn't on board" with polygamy, you may as well bank on your 1st wife sabotaging any effort on your part to create a plural family. Even some of the most verbally-supportive 1st wives only voice that support for two reasons: (1) because they have no confidence that you're ever going to really find some woman who will be willing to transcend the social disapproval, and, (2) in the unlikely event that you do find such a woman of steel, your 1st wife knows at an unconscious level that she can either disrupt the entry of the new woman into your household or make life miserable enough for her after she leaves that she will be able to run her off.
Please clear about what I am saying and what I'm not saying:
What is called for these days is what Jason Whitlock is trying to pound into our heads: the culture is dominated by people for whom the destruction of masculine males is their primary objective, so the only strategy that stands a chance of turning the tide is for strong men to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with each other on a whole host of issues. Become the patriarch of your family, but also start forming alliances with other men who are doing the same thing. Pledge yourselves to each other to have each other's backs about that whole host of issues, up to and including being willing to take those men and their families into your home should those men find their lives entirely turned upside down for taking the stands they take. The Adversary thrives based on the sheer numbers of people he's able to agitate against the truth in order to protect their tenuous conformity, so the only real earthly weapon we have against that is to become a band of brothers.
I know this reflects some of my biases, but what's the point of belonging to a club that wouldn't have you as a member if they knew who you really were? The only hope we have for any of this lies in men standing tall for everything important in their lives: for their families, for their faith, for their beliefs, for their freedoms, etc. Speaking uncomfortable truths is a tremendous way to discover who is and isn't someone one can count on to stand tall beside one when the going gets tough, and that's not really too high of a standard to have for one's potential spouse, either. Then, if, when the dragons start breathing fire, your potential love interest doesn't knuckle under to the lust for social approval or join in on enforcing it, and if she treats you with decency and respect even after the dragon breath from others has died down, and especially if you find this woman following you to one church after another as they successively invite you to become a member just long enough to kick you out for failing to fully support their extra-biblical teachings (because, believe me, if a church is condemnatory to the point of shunning or excommunication about polygamy, it will be active in condemning various other behaviors not condemned by Scripture or promoting so-called truths not present in Scripture), then you'll be in a position to expect a pretty good chance of a welcome audience for your expressions of fondness. If she waves good-bye when you get kicked out, or especially if she looks the other way or joins in on condemning you for speaking truth, your chances with her never were worth risking your present family for her.
It doesn't matter how correct you are that she would fit in well with your already-existent family or how correct you are that she and you would be a perfect couple in Fantasy Land.
I say this last thing with all the spiritual and relationship scars necessary for proving that I know what I'm talking about: it's beyond essential that you get everything straight with your 1st wife before you destroy any possibility with a potential 2nd wife. Unless you have established air-tight authority in your home, if your 1st wife "isn't on board" with polygamy, you may as well bank on your 1st wife sabotaging any effort on your part to create a plural family. Even some of the most verbally-supportive 1st wives only voice that support for two reasons: (1) because they have no confidence that you're ever going to really find some woman who will be willing to transcend the social disapproval, and, (2) in the unlikely event that you do find such a woman of steel, your 1st wife knows at an unconscious level that she can either disrupt the entry of the new woman into your household or make life miserable enough for her after she leaves that she will be able to run her off.
Please clear about what I am saying and what I'm not saying:
- I'm not saying that you're unworthy of being a husband of more than one wife; and
- I'm not saying that there are no real potential 2nd wives out there; but
- I am saying that our 1st wives are very often the greatest potential obstacle to creating plural families.
What is called for these days is what Jason Whitlock is trying to pound into our heads: the culture is dominated by people for whom the destruction of masculine males is their primary objective, so the only strategy that stands a chance of turning the tide is for strong men to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with each other on a whole host of issues. Become the patriarch of your family, but also start forming alliances with other men who are doing the same thing. Pledge yourselves to each other to have each other's backs about that whole host of issues, up to and including being willing to take those men and their families into your home should those men find their lives entirely turned upside down for taking the stands they take. The Adversary thrives based on the sheer numbers of people he's able to agitate against the truth in order to protect their tenuous conformity, so the only real earthly weapon we have against that is to become a band of brothers.
I would recommend a two year betrothal, longer if she is under thirty, in order to make sure that it is relatively solid. Sex free.
But no, we are going to play Russian Roulette with 2-3 chambers loaded.
Pull that trigger, guys. You have the rest of your life to clean up the mess.
edit:
That two years of betrothal would include the man dating other women and possibly becoming additionally betrothed during that time.
You have to admit, it would definitely help sort out depth of commitment.
But no, we are going to play Russian Roulette with 2-3 chambers loaded.
Pull that trigger, guys. You have the rest of your life to clean up the mess.
edit:
That two years of betrothal would include the man dating other women and possibly becoming additionally betrothed during that time.
You have to admit, it would definitely help sort out depth of commitment.
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