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How much should fashion matter?

Lanora115

Lanora115

Member
Real Person
Female
Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.
1 Peter 3:3-4

So let me see if I got this right. Biblically, Christian women are not supposed to focus on hair, jewelry or clothes, rather we're supposed to focus on the inner self, which is what God truly values. Hmmm.

Part of me is just blown away by how much many Christian women seem to worry about their outward appearance.
Most of the young girls in my valley talk a lot about the newest fashion, the best hairstyles, whether or not they have a boyfriend, or how many boyfriends they have had (like it's a bragging Point!) These girls seem to be desperately trying to fit in.
I couldn't relate, but did notice that being around these kind of girls changed my perspective. I used to be a little self-conscious about my lack of makeup, or lack of care about fashion. Personally I prefer the fifties and sixties style of dresses if I'm going somewhere like a Contra dance and want to dress up, and I have pretty much stopped wearing any makeup. I decided that if I meet a guy, I want him to like me for the way I really look, or better yet for who I really am, not for something I can take off when I go home. I truly feel like I have gotten past the feeling self-conscious because I don't blend in.
It's so easy to just go with the flow if you're not making a conscious decision to stand against it.

There are so many things women do now to try and fit in with modern fashion, from hair extensions to fake eyelashes, fake lips, fake boobs, fake nails, and the list just goes on it seems.
So everyone just starts resembling everybody else, instead of being unique.
I feel like it helps me to be around people I admire, who have qualities I would like to have. I feel like it rubs off a bit, but I think it can have the same effect in a bad way.
I'm not in any way meaning to judge any woman who does these things I mentioned above, I just wonder why they do.
I am in no way trying to start a debate or fight, just would like to hear others thoughts.

I have been reading Debbie Pearl's book called Created to be His Help Meet she wrote another called Preparing to be a Help Meet which I ordered at the same time, but never arrived.
I don't agree with everything she says, but there's a lot I like, and I would recommend it.
I like this quote, but don't know who said it. "Tis not beauty my dear, but fine qualities that keep a husband"

Hoping to hear from others here :)
 
I've never been into fashion, just what's comfortable, practical, preferably as cheap as possible, and hopefully somewhat flattering. I don't wear make-up because A: I don't have the time, B: seems like a waste of money to me, and C: I hate the way I look with make-up, it basically makes me look like I'm 16 and that's not a good thing when I'm mid thirties with a bunch of kids!
So, I can't relate to what other people go on about with fashion and make-up either. I have to get new shoes tomorrow (the podiatrist says I have to get proper shoes, not $15 shoes from The Warehouse...), and I'm going to a decent shop's outlet store that is selling them with a huge discount because they're six months out of fashion. I mean, really, how do you have shoes that could possibly go out of fashion in a few months?! That doesn't sound very practical to me.

I spent a long time putting myself down thinking I wasn't very womanly. I didn't like fancy clothes, I didn't wear make-up, I didn't care about how my house was decorated etc. Something I've learned about myself is that it's not that I'm not womanly, it's that I'm practical. Especially in this stage of life, I absolutely need practical stuff everywhere! And in fact, it's a quality that Samuel loves about me, which makes me womenly, right?
 
Lanora115 said:
Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.
1 Peter 3:3-4

So let me see if I got this right. Biblically, Christian women are not supposed to focus on hair, jewelry or clothes, rather we're supposed to focus on the inner self, which is what God truly values. Hmmm.

Part of me is just blown away by how much many Christian women seem to worry about their outward appearance.
Most of the young girls in my valley talk a lot about the newest fashion, the best hairstyles, whether or not they have a boyfriend, or how many boyfriends they have had (like it's a bragging Point!) These girls seem to be desperately trying to fit in.
I couldn't relate, but did notice that being around these kind of girls changed my perspective. I used to be a little self-conscious about my lack of makeup, or lack of care about fashion. Personally I prefer the fifties and sixties style of dresses if I'm going somewhere like a Contra dance and want to dress up, and I have pretty much stopped wearing any makeup. I decided that if I meet a guy, I want him to like me for the way I really look, or better yet for who I really am, not for something I can take off when I go home. I truly feel like I have gotten past the feeling self-conscious because I don't blend in.
It's so easy to just go with the flow if you're not making a conscious decision to stand against it.

There are so many things women do now to try and fit in with modern fashion, from hair extensions to fake eyelashes, fake lips, fake boobs, fake nails, and the list just goes on it seems.
So everyone just starts resembling everybody else, instead of being unique.
I feel like it helps me to be around people I admire, who have qualities I would like to have. I feel like it rubs off a bit, but I think it can have the same effect in a bad way.
I'm not in any way meaning to judge any woman who does these things I mentioned above, I just wonder why they do.
I am in no way trying to start a debate or fight, just would like to hear others thoughts.

I have been reading Debbie Pearl's book called Created to be His Help Meet she wrote another called Preparing to be a Help Meet which I ordered at the same time, but never arrived.
I don't agree with everything she says, but there's a lot I like, and I would recommend it.
I like this quote, but don't know who said it. "Tis not beauty my dear, but fine qualities that keep a husband"

Hoping to hear from others here :)
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I am unapologetically me. I have dreads, I wrap my hair, sometimes I don't, I wear makeup but don't stress when I don't which is most of the time. I can be ultra feminine and a little Tom boy. I love tools and ribbons and pearls. It is my love for Christ that makes me ok with who and what I am. When appearances, boys, and material things become more important that the relationship one has with God then that is when I see it is a problem.

I don't like fake bujie women and "plastic bujie Christians" are the most difficult to deal with imo. With that said there are things I would fix if money was not an issue but NOT to impress anyone or for the glamor but for health.

But I am not a fanatic and I don't have an issue with women who wear extensions or jewelry etc. To each their own just be true to your self and spiritual convictions
 
FollowingHim2 said:
Something I've learned about myself is that it's not that I'm not womanly, it's that I'm practical. Especially in this stage of life, I absolutely need practical stuff everywhere! And in fact, it's a quality that Samuel loves about me, which makes me womenly, right?
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Right!
When you are a mom to a houseful it is probably best that things be kept in perspective. When a young boy decides to test his pocketknife on the back of the sofa you are glad it was not part of a high dollar matched set!
No eye make up means you can cry or rub your eye without looking like a raccoon! :-P
I like practical! I'd rather think about coats for the children then cashmere shawls for me.
 
I believe some women pride themselves in their plainness and piety and others in their fancy clothes and makeup. Both are equally wrong. I like to wear makeup, but not all the time. It depends on the situation. My husband is very visual. It makes him feel like I care about him when I doll up. So on dates, military balls etc, I go all out in a way that I know pleases him. If your hubby likes you dolled up, then do it. If he prefers plain, then do that
 
Jennifer said:
I believe some women pride themselves in their plainness and piety and others in their fancy clothes and makeup.
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This is so true! I've seen it in the headcovering movement in some women (not all, definitely no one on here!). Women get all judgemental, and instead of it being about "I've got a fancier dress than you." it's "I cover more of my hair than you, therefore I'm a better Christian/more plain than you".

I dislike judgement with a passion. I so wish women would build each other up. I love how that's what happens on here! I just wish it translated into real life or even other places online.
 
Jennifer said:
I believe some women pride themselves in their plainness and piety and others in their fancy clothes and makeup. Both are equally wrong. I like to wear makeup, but not all the time. It depends on the situation. My husband is very visual. It makes him feel like I care about him when I doll up. So on dates, military balls etc, I go all out in a way that I know pleases him. If your hubby likes you dolled up, then do it. If he prefers plain, then do that
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I agree one hundred percent.
I always love it when mom dolls up for dad :)
But for are lifestyle it's kind of hard to muck out pens in a dress (even though I love them) mom and I tend to stick to practical wear round the home place.
 
For some reason this post reminded me of a funny moment at work. It was a day I woke up late, so no time for makeup. I also had a very important meeting that day at 2. At lunch time I was feeling drained and decided to lay my head down on my desk to get some rest instead of eating because I felt rest would do more good than eating. Well, my boss must have thought I needed the sleep because I woke up almost two hours later and had to rush to my meeting. I usually only sleep for 10 minutes at most in public. He said I looked like I needed sleep that day so he didn't wake me up (probably the no makeup). I didn't bother to check the mirror before rushing off to the meeting. This was with the neurocognitive department, mind you, so psych docs and cognitive scientists! I kept getting stares and one person asked me if I was feeling okay. I was actually feeling pretty good after a two hour nap! After the meeting, I went to the restroom and I noticed my bangs were standing straight up and I had some hair glued together from drool and hairspray mixing, and part of my hair was straight and the other trying to curl from getting wet with drool. It was the worse bed head you have ever seen, on top of no makeup. They had never seen me like that, and my boss didn't give me a warning to look in the mirror either!
 
For the most part I wear dresses/skirts. I own no makeup and haven't used any for wow going on 10 years. I do what pleases my husband. Am I perfect? Absolutely not! I am very practical as well, I always have been. To a lot of people I look dressed up all the time, which humors me, especially to those who don't know me. I also own jeans and sweat pants lol We farm as well though I'm not out there as much as I used to be I've chased animals in a skirt before.. it doesn't usually end well for me. All the same, I ask my husband if it's okay to do so.
 
Foxlily said:
For the most part I wear dresses/skirts. I own no makeup and haven't used any for wow going on 10 years. I do what pleases my husband. Am I perfect? Absolutely not! I am very practical as well, I always have been. To a lot of people I look dressed up all the time, which humors me, especially to those who don't know me. I also own jeans and sweat pants lol We farm as well though I'm not out there as much as I used to be I've chased animals in a skirt before.. it doesn't usually end well for me. All the same, I ask my husband if it's okay to do so.
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My wardrobe strongly consists of skirts also.
I wear pants if I'm going hiking riding or just working outside but if I'm just going to be inside a skirt is definitely preferred.
 
Jennifer said:
For some reason this post reminded me of a funny moment at work. It was a day I woke up late, so no time for makeup. I also had a very important meeting that day at 2. At lunch time I was feeling drained and decided to lay my head down on my desk to get some rest instead of eating because I felt rest would do more good than eating. Well, my boss must have thought I needed the sleep because I woke up almost two hours later and had to rush to my meeting. I usually only sleep for 10 minutes at most in public. He said I looked like I needed sleep that day so he didn't wake me up (probably the no makeup). I didn't bother to check the mirror before rushing off to the meeting. This was with the neurocognitive department, mind you, so psych docs and cognitive scientists! I kept getting stares and one person asked me if I was feeling okay. I was actually feeling pretty good after a two hour nap! After the meeting, I went to the restroom and I noticed my bangs were standing straight up and I had some hair glued together from drool and hairspray mixing, and part of my hair was straight and the other trying to curl from getting wet with drool. It was the worse bed head you have ever seen, on top of no makeup. They had never seen me like that, and my boss didn't give me a warning to look in the mirror either!
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Oh no! At those moments, you so wish that something would have pushed you past a mirror for just a few seconds. It makes you want to warn people who you see in the same predicament, doesn't it!
 
I am thinking more and more about this subject since God sent me a 15 year old to raise 2 years ago. She was going along like all her friends into the "how sexy can I look in a selfie" world. I am very big on modesty and what you are presenting to the World, as you all seem to be. I have been pondering the difference between a "sexy" look and a "pretty" look. Is it about the clothing or about our mindset? I despise PINK clothing because I feel it is a mindset of sexy that is being sold (at expensive rates, non the less) to young girls trying to make it thru puberty. No judgement to adults who buy PINK clothing, it is just about the kids who covet that "look." It is also incredibly hard to buy modest clothing for teenagers these days, which saddens me greatly.

As for me, I want to be better at buying clothes that make me feel pretty to myself and my husband. I do like to wear make-up but I am fine going out in public without it. Though, I do like to wear foundation and a little mascara more and more as I have gotten older. :rolleyes::)
 
julieb said:
I have been pondering the difference between a "sexy" look and a "pretty" look. Is it about the clothing or about our mindset?
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I think it's both. I watched a presentation Christy O Misty did on you tube. In it she shared how her dad had told his daughters he wanted them to dress pretty, never sexy. It is about the effect the girl is going for....what the hook is baited with ....what the style suggests about the wearer. Pretty is feminine and attractive but in a wholesome appropriate way that doesn't take a guys mind places only her husband should go.
Even if the girl is available, would she really want all the men she comes in contact with, sees at church, or 'dates,' to have mentally gone there with her? I wouldn't think so, but maybe some like influencing men that way? I can only wonder.

julieb said:
As for me, I want to be better at buying clothes that make me feel pretty to myself and my husband.
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Me too! I used to wear makeup and feel it is one of the "All things" that are "lawful" especially if the dad or hubby approves. The key being the why and heart condition behind the action. I still like dressing up, (including make up at times) and the kind of looks I get from my hubby when I do!
 
Jennifer said:
I believe some women pride themselves in their plainness and piety and others in their fancy clothes and makeup. Both are equally wrong.
Click to expand...

So much truth here. I've felt judged by those who choose to be plain, and by those who go over the top.

Jennifer said:
If your hubby likes you dolled up, then do it. If he prefers plain, then do that
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And I think this is the best advice.

Personally, I wear makeup and I have for a long time. I really enjoy it and I think it is fun to play around with makeup. My husband likes the makeup I wear (although his number one rule about makeup is to remember that the most attractive thing I can add to myself is a smile, not makeup.) I also like to look nice and wear clothes that I think are flattering to me, but I don't follow fashion. I do like to shop at higher quality stores (like stores at the mall) because something I've learned is that those pieces may seem more expensive more than walmart, but I've learned how to shop the sales and watch for when they stores are doing clearances and then to shop for the holes in my wardrobe while they are out of season and on sale. A lot of the time shopping like that will net me 'nicer' quality clothes and are actually cheaper than buying at walmart. I feel like I don't want to be judged for wearing nice clothes, when in reality, they were actually marked down to 9.99 and b1g1 so I'm actually just frugal not shallow lol. :)
 
julieb said:
I have been pondering the difference between a "sexy" look and a "pretty" look. Is it about the clothing or about our mindset? I despise PINK clothing because I feel it is a mindset of sexy that is being sold (at expensive rates, non the less) to young girls trying to make it thru puberty. No judgement to adults who buy PINK clothing, it is just about the kids who covet that "look." It is also incredibly hard to buy modest clothing for teenagers these days, which saddens me greatly
Click to expand...

It's a little baffling when I meet a Christian woman who is wearing a short tight skirt and a plunging neckline.. especially when married. If a woman is making an effort to do herself up for her husband in a certain way that is ultimately pleasing to him then do it! But if a woman is dressed in a way that makes men turn and stare when just going out on her own for a reason.. Who is she trying to attract or please? I don't view pink as necessarily sexy. There are sexy outfits of all colors (aka the "little black dress" just as an example). I was an advocate against pink until I had a little girl. Something happened with my hormones.. more estrogen I guess I'm a bit of a tomboy! Anyway, I began appreciating pink. We don't just get her pink she wears all colors but she does have a love of it. If she can find a pink outfit in her drawer she wears it. If I wear pink she's so unbelievably thrilled and joyed that I'm wearing her favorite color she wants to groom me by brushing my hair and playing my hair. Ultimately it's adorable! Kids who 'covet' the look often have an outside driving factor as in the parents. I can frankly handle a parent obsessively dressing their child in pink more so than piercing their baby's ears. To what end is such a thing necessary?

You are right to be saddened by the clothes that are out there to buy for teenagers but have a look at the little girls clothes! Rockfox and I are both just staggered by the difficulty in finding modest clothing for our little girls. I end up having to make them dresses and skirts of a suitable length! Some times we get lucky but WOW!
 
Shows you how often I shop at victoria secret lol Makes more sense :D Sorry if any offense!
 
@Foxlily yes, I was talking about the other PINK. :) I didn't know much about their stuff until my niece came to live with us. It seems so "basic" if you will but it really is just a gateway into the adult Victoria's Secret stuff. Talk about marketing!! Don't get me wrong there is nothing wrong with buying Victoria's Secret clothing. It is just the mindset that PINK is pushing young girls towards.

Haven't even thought about younger girl's clothing. That makes me sad to hear. :(
 
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