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New to pm... Our story begins.
- Thread starter Rda
- Start date
Rda,
I am a first wife also, and would be glad to PM with you if you need to talk
Katie
I am a first wife also, and would be glad to PM with you if you need to talk
Katie
Hey girls,
Sorry I didn't respond sooner I didn't know I had new responses from anyone. Anyways, yes K and I are friends. She had been an aquatence at our gym, she worked in the child watch and took care of our son and then started coming by to watch him at our house while I worked and DH built our new deck. At which point her and DH began to get close... Then we asked her if she wanted to live with us in exchange for help with our son and soon to be daughter. She moved in right before our daughter was born and well about 5 months later I had a sw...yup. DH had been dropping hints like let's keep her, for a while but I had no idea what he ment by it... Lol. Anyways, I do get along really well with K and I think she feels the same way about me. We are very different in the way we think and how we do things but I think for the most part that is proving to be a good thing, it balances DH and I out because she is somewhere in the middle. K is a good listener, she honest, caring, and very direct. She's young but way beyond her years. Most of the time I still feel like the baby. I am very blessed to call my sw a friend, but that doesn't always make it easy.
As a first wife with a pretty up and down marriage having a new Sw has had it's challenges. One seeing him happy with someone else when we are selfs aren't and thus feeling he likes her more, or feeling they have more in common which then makes me feel like an outsider... I don't know so far the pros have outweighed the cons, most of the cons have to do with personal insecurities. So if I were to make a suggestion as to how to prepare I guess I would say look at yourself and your insecurities and see if they are things that are going to cause issues, maybe talk to DH about them and see if he can help you work through them. I'm no expert nor do I have a perfect pm but I know that's what I am working on now so it can't hurt to start the process before bringing in a sw. Ladies who have been doing fhis longer pleasure chime in. Hope this helps.
Rebecca
Ps anyone who would like to pm me is welcome I can always use a new friend espessally that I can talk openly with about our marriage
Sorry I didn't respond sooner I didn't know I had new responses from anyone. Anyways, yes K and I are friends. She had been an aquatence at our gym, she worked in the child watch and took care of our son and then started coming by to watch him at our house while I worked and DH built our new deck. At which point her and DH began to get close... Then we asked her if she wanted to live with us in exchange for help with our son and soon to be daughter. She moved in right before our daughter was born and well about 5 months later I had a sw...yup. DH had been dropping hints like let's keep her, for a while but I had no idea what he ment by it... Lol. Anyways, I do get along really well with K and I think she feels the same way about me. We are very different in the way we think and how we do things but I think for the most part that is proving to be a good thing, it balances DH and I out because she is somewhere in the middle. K is a good listener, she honest, caring, and very direct. She's young but way beyond her years. Most of the time I still feel like the baby. I am very blessed to call my sw a friend, but that doesn't always make it easy.
As a first wife with a pretty up and down marriage having a new Sw has had it's challenges. One seeing him happy with someone else when we are selfs aren't and thus feeling he likes her more, or feeling they have more in common which then makes me feel like an outsider... I don't know so far the pros have outweighed the cons, most of the cons have to do with personal insecurities. So if I were to make a suggestion as to how to prepare I guess I would say look at yourself and your insecurities and see if they are things that are going to cause issues, maybe talk to DH about them and see if he can help you work through them. I'm no expert nor do I have a perfect pm but I know that's what I am working on now so it can't hurt to start the process before bringing in a sw. Ladies who have been doing fhis longer pleasure chime in. Hope this helps.
Rebecca
Ps anyone who would like to pm me is welcome I can always use a new friend espessally that I can talk openly with about our marriage
sharonr
Member
Oh okay Trisha thanks, I on the other hand had to get used to not holding my hubby every night, in the beginning of marriage he use to always hold me, and it was quite uncomfortable for him, you know he get's hot quick. So once I got used to that, I later had to get used to hubby sleeping in the living room. He likes to go camp out in the living room, some nights. But usually now since we been married for 7 years, I had to get to know my husband and adjust to him. So since we don't sleep in the same bed every night I doubt that it will be hard for me to get used to him, not sleeping with me, and in another room with his other wife.
Changes arent fun, but necessary in order to live functionally with others, no matter with whom it's with.
Trisha you must be used to hubby sleeping with you every night, so I see the difficulties in getting used to that.
Ladies that's just another preperation to be ready.
Changes arent fun, but necessary in order to live functionally with others, no matter with whom it's with.
Trisha you must be used to hubby sleeping with you every night, so I see the difficulties in getting used to that.
Ladies that's just another preperation to be ready.
So it's been a while but it's been a crazy couple months. It's been an emotional roller coaster for me to say the least. But... We are about to take a big no huge step for our family. We are talking about moving back to mexico. That's right our family k, DH, kids, dogs and myself moving to the land of friendly people and yummy tacos!!!
Oh but how nerve racking moving our new bigger "special" family to another country. Not to mention it's back to the city that DH and I lived after we were married and so our friends potential business owners know us as a couple... Not as a pologomist family... :/ how do we explain it to them? How do I keep my own insecurities off my fave when they ask me how I feel about "this"... Oh I love K but I still wish I had been enough... I want DH to be happy and my children to have everything, and if DH feels this is what we needed, them this is the life we will lead. That doesn't make it any less scary.
So far the only people that know are a few people at DHs work, people seem pretty cool with it, but they aren't big people in our lives ... I hope more people are ok with it. And I pray that God helps me with my insecurities before they become more of a problem then they already have been.
God give me strength, courage and grace. Amen
Oh but how nerve racking moving our new bigger "special" family to another country. Not to mention it's back to the city that DH and I lived after we were married and so our friends potential business owners know us as a couple... Not as a pologomist family... :/ how do we explain it to them? How do I keep my own insecurities off my fave when they ask me how I feel about "this"... Oh I love K but I still wish I had been enough... I want DH to be happy and my children to have everything, and if DH feels this is what we needed, them this is the life we will lead. That doesn't make it any less scary.
So far the only people that know are a few people at DHs work, people seem pretty cool with it, but they aren't big people in our lives ... I hope more people are ok with it. And I pray that God helps me with my insecurities before they become more of a problem then they already have been.
God give me strength, courage and grace. Amen
Rda said:
I have said this before and I will say it again, This has nothing to do with wives being "enough" it has to do with our husband's desire or need to love and be loved by more than one woman. I could be the most perfect woman in the world and I would not be able to completely satisfy hubby because it is not about me but about him.
We love special men. They are special because of their amazing capacity for love. If we are enough for them then we cut off the chance to see where that love will take us.
SweetLissa
I have said this before and I will say it again, This has nothing to do with wives being "enough" it has to do with our husband's desire or need to love and be loved by more than one woman. I could be the most perfect woman in the world and I would not be able to completely satisfy hubby because it is not about me but about him.
We love special men. They are special because of their amazing capacity for love. If we are enough for them then we cut off the chance to see where that love will take us.
SweetLissa
I agree with Lissa. It takes a lot of the pressure off. You can focus on the areas of life you are good at or at least interested in pursuing. If it is an area that nobody is good at then you get kudos for at least being the person who is willing to give it a try.
Now I am trying to figure out which piece of fruit I want to be in the fruit salad (definitely not citrus) :?:
Now I am trying to figure out which piece of fruit I want to be in the fruit salad (definitely not citrus) :?:
JesseHasQuestions
New Member
CecilW said:
What about women then? Do women not posses this same quality? What if a woman has a desire or need to love and be loved by more than one man? Just asking... Not that I do, just wondering.
Jesse, I wanted to point you to the FAQ under Resources. Check out the second one, Gender Mutuality, in regards to your question about women wanting more than one husband. I am sure we have a thread on this, try searching for it. I will try and search myself too. I am sure you will find several different thoughts on this subject. Read the scriptures and decide for yourself.