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Sleeping Arrangements
- Thread starter Soldier's Psalm
- Start date
Back to the original thought. I think a lot of first wives (especially ones that have been married for YEARS before a second comes in) struggle with the idea of instant lack of sleeping next to their spouse. When you sleep next to your husband every night for X amount of years, not having them there makes it hard to sleep because of a lack of security and safety.
It’s not about feeling like they want to be kinky or watch kinky. It’s about missing out on pillow talk, or just having the warmth of their spouse, or being comforted by hearing them breath in middle of the night. Sex, in reality, only takes up a small portion of time in bed. If the women were secure and could communicate their needs for “alone time,” I don’t see why the wife that doesn’t want to “get some” couldn’t work on the dishes, or get up and make breakfast for everyone, while the other is getting her needs met. We are all adults after all. Pillow talk is when we get some of our life planning done, or just talk about the day. Cobedding could be bonding for husband and wives. (If that is how the husband feels would benefit his family most.)
A traditional king mattress doesn’t sound appealing for 3 people- add another twin or put two king mattresses next to each other.
Just my wooden nickel.
It’s not about feeling like they want to be kinky or watch kinky. It’s about missing out on pillow talk, or just having the warmth of their spouse, or being comforted by hearing them breath in middle of the night. Sex, in reality, only takes up a small portion of time in bed. If the women were secure and could communicate their needs for “alone time,” I don’t see why the wife that doesn’t want to “get some” couldn’t work on the dishes, or get up and make breakfast for everyone, while the other is getting her needs met. We are all adults after all. Pillow talk is when we get some of our life planning done, or just talk about the day. Cobedding could be bonding for husband and wives. (If that is how the husband feels would benefit his family most.)
A traditional king mattress doesn’t sound appealing for 3 people- add another twin or put two king mattresses next to each other.
Just my wooden nickel.
When you put it that way, or sounds so much better. Great pointsBack to the original thought. I think a lot of first wives (especially ones that have been married for YEARS before a second comes in) struggle with the idea of instant lack of sleeping next to their spouse. When you sleep next to your husband every night for X amount of years, not having them there makes it hard to sleep because of a lack of security and safety.
It’s not about feeling like they want to be kinky or watch kinky. It’s about missing out on pillow talk, or just having the warmth of their spouse, or being comforted by hearing them breath in middle of the night. Sex, in reality, only takes up a small portion of time in bed. If the women were secure and could communicate their needs for “alone time,” I don’t see why the wife that doesn’t want to “get some” couldn’t work on the dishes, or get up and make breakfast for everyone, while the other is getting her needs met. We are all adults after all. Pillow talk is when we get some of our life planning done, or just talk about the day. Cobedding could be bonding for husband and wives. (If that is how the husband feels would benefit his family most.)
A traditional king mattress doesn’t sound appealing for 3 people- add another twin or put two king mattresses next to each other.
Just my wooden nickel.
From my experience with my ladies, this wouldn't work. At least for the time being.
I think it would make them both feel like it's always about the three of us...a perpetual threesome (non-sexual) and not each having their own marriage/relationship and time with me. I don't think I'd like it much either. But perhaps it's an argument for THREE wives. No one is ever alone!!! 
For us, that's done on the couch when we're just hanging out and relaxing.
GOLD!
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James A
Guest
The wives should follow there hushband only if they are following God. This subject is mute in my opnion until my wives are both brought to me by God
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James A
Guest
As a man wether you have none or a thousand like Solomon in the Bible. The issue of where you sleep is like tieing your shoes the challenge and growth is developing your mind and soul to be ready for the emotions and needs your wifes will need
I remember hearing that lovers actually sync in a way while sleeping with heart rates and sleep patterns changing in response to each other. I think that could happen for both wives with hubby in the middle, and the biggest problem might be him getting cramped or sandwiched by cuddlers. I get a bit crowded between hubby and the baby that isn't weaned yet some nights.
My wooden nickle is basically a match to yours, but I can also do fine sleeping alone sometimes, so should there ever be another here I'm fine with her preference and comfort level.....as long as I can sleep with her in the same room (she cannot snore louder then the trains that pass at night)
Not sure what you mean by this?
GREAT points, @WifeOfHisYouth! I chuckled when noticing that the assumption was made that what I was referring to in my earlier comment was limited to sexuality. After all, the title of this thread is, "Sleeping Arrangements." I love that you brought the focus to the stability and security that one can feel after having grown together sleeping together night after night for years (and that dynamic is not limited to how the women feel). Pillow talk -- which, yes, can take place on the sofa, in the kitchen or on car rides (and one very wise Biblical Family man recently described in person how, as a long-distance trucker, he accomplishes this with morning on-the-road telephone appointments) -- has its own special quality in bed and is a (generally) essential component of marriage.
So much of this comes down to the particular 3-person (or 4-person, etc.) set of dynamics that results from adding someone to the plural relationship. I see our answers here to be highly individualistic, and those of us who are currently in 2-person marriages can have our fantasies about how everything will play out in bed, on the sofa, in the kitchen or out in the garden -- but when it comes down to it, adding a real-life new human being to the mix has the potential to change almost anything. Anything, other than principles to which we are deeply wedded, and if one piles up too many of those in advance, how does one hope to absorb anyone other than an automaton into one's family? This may just be me, but I go into this assuming that I can't really assume much of anything as far as how everything will go once another woman (not to mention potential children) becomes part of our family. First of all, it only makes sense to be prepared to take some of her (at this point, unknown) preferences into account in the process of everyone assimilating each other. Second, I believe it's impossible to predict how her (again, at this point, unknown) preferences are going to effectively change Kristin or change me.
I have my vision, and I look into my future intending to live into it, but I don't consider it unmanly on my part to be absolutely ready to compromise on many minor and moderate points if a woman who fits most of the major ones falls in love with me and is game for a rewarding but challenging relationship structure. In fact, I look forward to the adventure of discovery that such compromise will entail.
And I suppose that all I ask for when it comes to sleeping arrangements is that they won't be exactly the same every night for the rest of our lives . . .
Scriptural support?
This idea or concept can put a woman in a position of judging her husband and his decisions. It was precisely this, in my humble opinion, that undermined the structure of my parents marriage.
A woman can refuse to follow or obey her husband, if she believes the requested/required behavior is wrong, but she should be prepared for the marriage to end or change dramatically if she does. It is far better for her to be cautious and prayerful in who she marries and then trust God to teach and grow the man. A slow and painful death of masculinity happens when a wife tries to "raise" (to greater godliness) or train up her husband.
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James A
Guest
Am man should be always in tone and have a relationship with Jesus
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James A
Guest
We have to remeber what this post is about it was about sleeping arrangements. The wives needs to be accounted for did everyone read my other posts on this post
Of course but that doesn’t answer the question. Where are you getting this idea:
Because it seems like you are saying that a woman should not follow her husband if he isn’t following God. Is that what you are saying? If so do you have any scriptural support for that claim?
This is a bit of a “hot button” issue that gets discussed quite often. This ends up making the women in charge of the household and leads to major problems. Not to mention there is zero scriptural support for the idea and in fact we have major scriptural support for the antithesis.
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Cap
Guest
I don't think there is a scripture that says that a women should not follow her husband if he doesn't follow God because it's actually the wrong question.
The question is, what kind of wife does a man end up with if he doesn't follow God? The burden appears to always be on the man. If he takes a wife not following God, or later decides to fall away, then he gets what he gets. If he stops following God and the wife leaves, whose fault is it? If he is following God and the wife leaves, whose fault is that? Sometimes, women can be a test of faith. A godly woman is always the prize.
The question is, what kind of wife does a man end up with if he doesn't follow God? The burden appears to always be on the man. If he takes a wife not following God, or later decides to fall away, then he gets what he gets. If he stops following God and the wife leaves, whose fault is it? If he is following God and the wife leaves, whose fault is that? Sometimes, women can be a test of faith. A godly woman is always the prize.
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James A
Guest
I am saying that the man should always be in line and in relationship with God so that he does not ever go make a bad decision. Meaning that the wives never have a conflict in there mind because the man is always leading them closer to Jesus. Reading the Bible and praying is what I will make sure is done every morning and every evening with my wives there is nothing more important
But will this be done with all three of you in the same bed or separate beds in the same room?!?!?!
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James A
Guest
I can not answer that question yet. For I am still waiting for my first wive. It will have to be looked at on a day to day bases based upon what God leads me to do with my 2 to 5 wives in the future
You are one serious dude...but my question wasn't. Just a joke to lighten the thread and get it back on track. But I appreciate the response, brother.
If you indeed end up with 2-5 wives, you'll definitely have some sleeping arrangements to figure out.
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James A
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Sorry hard to joke around on a disussion I am not the most educated on. I do apprecaite everyones respones and actions to everyones texts I have learned volumes on this subject