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Wife is demanding a 3rd Party

davidthebuilder said:
My question is, from her perspective, is she even wrong? If so, how?
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Yeah she is wrong, but it is true that new terms have been proposed. However you did the right thing in telling her you will not pursue it further, but the desire is still there. Ask her if she has prayed that this desire will go away. If this desire comes from God, that prayer will be answered with a "No". God is powerful enough to take that desire away from you, so help her to understand that God is able, if He chooses to do so, but if this is what He wants for you, He won't. So many followers of Christ claim that they believe in a big God, but sometimes they get it stuck in their minds that this God is incapable of working on your heart. I can't tell you how many people I have had that have said that they would pray that God would change my mind. Then of course when God doesn't answer their prayer, they just want to blame it on me, that I refuse to let Him do so. In reality their god is not as big as they claim that He is.
 
Heavens Declare said:
Yeah she is wrong, but it is true that new terms have been proposed. However you did the right thing in telling her you will not pursue it further, but the desire is still there. Ask her if she has prayed that this desire will go away. If this desire comes from God, that prayer will be answered with a "No". God is powerful enough to take that desire away from you, so help her to understand that God is able, if He chooses to do so, but if this is what He wants for you, He won't. So many followers of Christ claim that they believe in a big God, but sometimes they get it stuck in their minds that this God is incapable of working on your heart. I can't tell you how many people I have had that have said that they would pray that God would change my mind. Then of course when God doesn't answer their prayer, they just want to blame it on me, that I refuse to let Him do so. In reality their god is not as big as they claim that He is.
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This is insightful, and something I’ll probably mention to her. I myself have prayed for God to remove the desire if it’s not of Him, and yet it remains.
 
Heavens Declare said:
Yeah she is wrong, but it is true that new terms have been proposed. However you did the right thing in telling her you will not pursue it further, but the desire is still there. Ask her if she has prayed that this desire will go away. If this desire comes from God, that prayer will be answered with a "No". God is powerful enough to take that desire away from you, so help her to understand that God is able, if He chooses to do so, but if this is what He wants for you, He won't. So many followers of Christ claim that they believe in a big God, but sometimes they get it stuck in their minds that this God is incapable of working on your heart. I can't tell you how many people I have had that have said that they would pray that God would change my mind. Then of course when God doesn't answer their prayer, they just want to blame it on me, that I refuse to let Him do so. In reality their god is not as big as they claim that He is.
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^^^ So true.
According to Romans 8:29, we are predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son. We should all be growing to be more and more like Him. The Son presents Himself as taking multiple virgins into the weddings' celebrations, so men of God having the same desire isn't contradicting His plan for their lives, if indeed that's His plan.
 
frederick said:
^^^ So true.
According to Romans 8:29, we are predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son. We should all be growing to be more and more like Him. The Son presents Himself as taking multiple virgins into the weddings' celebrations, so men of God having the same desire isn't contradicting His plan for their lives, if indeed that's His plan.
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We prayed together this evening about this, to take away the desire. Funnily enough, she mentioned the Parable of the 10 Virgins to me (bridesmaids she says, of course,) earlier in the evening about eschatology, which is another Providential synchronicity.
 
davidthebuilder said:
We prayed together this evening about this, to take away the desire. Funnily enough, she mentioned the Parable of the 10 Virgins to me (bridesmaids she says, of course,) earlier in the evening about eschatology, which is another Providential synchronicity.
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The fact you are praying together is very positive. Keep it up. Read together, pray together, and keep communicating. 👍 🙏
 
steve said:
I don’t think that is what happened.
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It's more like she expected to be the only car in a one car garage....and is now told she may need to share space. He may provide a larger garage, but it is still going to make the first who felt like a prized Porche FEEL like a Honda instead! A utility...not a prized posession.
 
Joleneakamama said:
It's more like she expected to be the only car in a one car garage....and is now told she may need to share space. He may provide a larger garage, but it is still going to make the first who felt like a prized Porche FEEL like a Honda instead! A utility...not a prized posession.
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Exactly!

And probably like a used Honda with a high number of miles on it.
 
Joleneakamama said:
It's more like she expected to be the only car in a one car garage....and is now told she may need to share space. He may provide a larger garage, but it is still going to make the first who felt like a prized Porche FEEL like a Honda instead! A utility...not a prized posession.
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Is there any way to convince her otherwise? Or, I suppose, to have her get comfortable with being a car I own (to torture the metaphor)?
 
davidthebuilder said:
Is there any way to convince her otherwise? Or, I suppose, to have her get comfortable with being a car I own (to torture the metaphor)?
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Hold her close to you. Let her feel the love you have for her. Don't ever allow her to refuse your love. If she gets mad at you and gets cold, pull her in, and let her know that behavior is not allowed. Don't allow her to tell you that you don't love her. That is a lie from the devil. At times you may demand that she uncross her arms and wrap them around you. Don't allow temper tantrums. I.e. be the calm in her emotional storms. Firmly tell her to calm down, and assure her that everything will be alright.
 
davidthebuilder said:
Is there any way to convince her otherwise? Or, I suppose, to have her get comfortable with being a car I own (to torture the metaphor)?
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I got used to the idea a long time ago. It completely changes your existing marriage though, so a lot of reassurance is good if a wife is adjusting to a completely new normal.
 
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