Courtship or Adultery/Affair/Lust?

[Mark C]

Thanks for the reminder, ^_^ - and sorry for any wrong impressions.

In fact, like often happens, this thread has diverged so long ago from the initial premise that some (well, ME, anyway ) had almost forgotten where it began. After all, we've been hashing out marriage, divorce, multiple wives in Scripture, and now "whoring", for FAR longer... :lol:

I cannot believe that not one person commended this husband for at least being open enough with his first wife to let her know about the other woman and what's going on there.

Perhaps it's embarrassment, or hits too close to home. I will certainly admit that I was "open" with my first wife in that way LONG before I knew, much less cared, what the Bible had to say about it - and I am not proud of that fact at all. Thankfully, He had better plans for us.

And I respect his wife's willingness to study the issue - even if what God REALLY has to say about it may well be uncomfortable for her. Many of us can relate to that feeling - both on this topic, and many others. I continue to pray that he will give them both "eyes to see" and that they may be teachable, and "be like" the Bereans. In order for them, or any of us, to succeed in obedience to Him in marriage, it is important that we truly "study, to show ourselves approved".


Blessings,
Mark

 

[Anonymous]

men must commit to every woman that they sleep with as long as that woman doesnt sleep with another man.

Actually, before the whole "summer of love" and the modern preoccupation for recreational sex, it was quite common that a man would commit to the woman that he laid with. Aside from all the Scriptural mandates and issues of sinning, it's just sad that so many people are actively destroying their lives by casually treating intercourse as a form of temporary entertainment. I would willingly give up all our technological advances to live in a culture where men and women would actually take their bonding seriously enough to continue with a lifelong commitment.

divorce is about intention and not about a piece of paper.

You are correct that divorce occurs in the heart and not on the page. Writing and giving a certificate was certainly required for any man who was divorcing his wife, but it was merely the formal declaration of the fact, not the actual separation itself. Good call!

Love in Him,
David

 

[Anonymous]

The answer was given, at least hopefully , in the context of where I differ with 6thH's claim equating marriage with becoming one flesh, and the misunderstandings that result. The point with Marichu was perhaps somewhat tongue-in-cheek (I realize the danger of doing so in print ) in light of previous discussions. A "whore" does not mistake the sex act for marriage, and, of course, has no "certificate of divorce" because it was never an issue.

Gotcha. Yeah, I figured it was probably something like that. I agree 100% with your conclusion.

However, you final question DOES merit a comment. Read Jeremiah 3 again., and note the very specific imagery of verses 8 and 9, where both "played the harlot" and "whoredom" is mentioned.

Jer. 3:8-9: "And I saw that for all the causes for which backsliding Yisra’el had committed NA'APH, I had SHALACH her and given her a CIPHRAH KERIYTHUWTH; yet her treacherous sister Yehudah did not fear, but went and committed ZANAH too. And it came to be, through her frivolous ZNUWTH (related to zanah), that she defiled the land and committed NA'APH with stones and wood."

Right, both a married and an unmarried woman can commit "zanah/znuwth" (whoring), but only a married woman can commit "na'aph" (adultery). In Jeremiah 3, Israel was considered a married woman and she committed both zanah and na'aph. All "na'aph" is "zanah", but not all "zanah" is "na'aph". I think we're saying the same thing.

Love in Him,
David

 

[^_^]

Mostly I pray that they work quite hard on their own relationship, and if the other woman would ever be willing to come under proper headship in a committed relationship, that's the ideal. And yes, I'm very idealistic, I believe anything is possible.

 

[^_^]

You are correct that divorce occurs in the heart and not on the page. Writing and giving a certificate was certainly required for any man who was divorcing his wife, but it was merely the formal declaration of the fact, not the actual separation itself. Good call!

Love in Him,
David

My understanding of the writ of divorcement would be so the woman had 'proof' that she was not an adulteress. Yes, the seperation happened in the heart first, it always does, but whether it's the male or the female who is the hard hearted one, the woman is the one who needed proof of availability, not the male.

 

[Mark C]

Agreed, ^_^ --

thanks for beating me to it...

 

[Anonymous]

Woah! So we're actually all in agreement here? :lol:

Writing and giving a certificate was certainly required for any man who was divorcing his wife

Sorry, I should have been more clear in that part of my statement. It was required for the man to write and give TO THE WIFE he was divorcing. I only meant it in the sense that he was required to give it to her, not that he himself had any use for it. We all agree that it was the written evidence of her eligibility for remarriage.

Blessings,
David

 

[sixth_heretic]

Glad that is over.